Nutters with guns in the U.S are as newsworthy as a car accident in Peru

Sadly people die on New Zealand roads.  

Similarly road accidents happen around the globe resulting in injury and death with the same regularity.  

Unless the death-toll is significant e.g. bus crashes, a road fatality in Austria or India is not newsworthy enough to be reported outside that particular country.   

This is because road-tolls are common-place, an unfortunate by-product of getting behind the wheel.  

Similarly random shootings in the U.S are a by-product of a society that encourages the proliferation of guns.   

The inevitable result allowing anyone with two legs and half a brain to possess a gun, one that often serves only one purpose – killing other humans.    

Little wonder so many nutters run about killing people with guns in the U.S.  

Gun crime that is an aberration in most other countries is ‘hoe hum’ normal in the U.S, has been for decades.  

Therefore shootings in America are not news here in New Zealand any more than a road accident in Peru.   

The media outside the U.S should ‘yawn’ as news of the next gun rampage comes off the cable and put it in the same category as the Syrian civil war, pollution in Mexico City, a flood in a country no one can place on a map.      

Only worthy of reporting outside the United States when a proverbial bus accident e.g. Sandy Hook happens.  

If no one in the U.S cares enough to restrict gun ownership I for one don’t much care.  

 

 

AMERICA: THE HOME OF THE BUNKER

 

 

Why the hell does anyone need a bunker? 

Who the hell builds a bunker in their backyards 

Let me answer both questions succinctly – paranoid survivalist looneys. 

Individuals who spend time and money going to the effort to build a bunker have mental health issues of varying degrees.  

Neighbours of these people should rightfully be scared. 

Bunker builders can ‘spin-out’ at any point. 

Bunker builders are weird fuckers.  

Bunker builders always come armed.  

The U.S is of course a bunker vortex.

Rural America has more bunkers per square mile than the beach at Normandy. 

Type-in ‘Build a bunker’ into google and unsurprisingly all the sites on the five pages I bothered to go through all originated from the U.S.      

There are companies that sell purpose built bunkers and will help you get the necessary council permits etc.  

Evidently people in Belgium, Australia, Taiwan etc don’t seem to share Americans enthusiasm for encasing themselves underground in concrete, metal coffins twiddling their thumbs awaiting the end of the earth as we know it.   

The people on the streets of New Zealand, Germany and Japan don’t appear to worry about government troops storming through their front doors, solar flares, nuclear holocausts etc and prefer to go to the pub.  

Non-Americans have the stunning ability to rationalise things, put them in context.      

Example 1 : It’s a nice day today. 

Should I (a.) go for a walk with the dog (b.) train my dog to attack with German command words?

Example 2: The political party I didn’t vote for got into power.  

Should I (a.) accept that’s democracy at work (b.) find other discontented voters, work together in cells to  find-out everything we can on our new leader to discredit him and then fixate about him sending tanks & troops into our town.   

 Example 3: The government wants to restrict military weapons to the military. 

Should I (a.) accept these weapons serve no recreational purpose and are lethal in the hands of the mentally ill (b.) think the sky has fallen in, the Russians had invaded and imposed their regime on us and bury the other ten rifles and ammo I have in the local forest least they steal them as well.  

One of the most amusing, slightly warped things I discovered about bunker building in America was each state had specific construction permits, rules etc. 

As a social experiment I rang my local Council here in Christchurch and asked where I could find information about building a nuclear shelter in my backyard. 

After being shoved from Department to Department and finally taken seriously I spoke to some bloke who said in a suspicious tone something along the lines “We don’t have anything specific for the purpose intended and we would need to see the plans”  

I’m fully expecting he noted my phone number down and alerted a Health Dept psych team to pay me a visit.      

Gotta go, there’s someone knocking on my door.   

 

 

 

 

     

Quick Arm Yourself! Obama’s Zombie Apocalypse is coming to a state near you!

Some nutcase loner, son of a mother who thought the world was going to end, kills 27 defenceless children, their caregivers, said mother & what is the flow-on of his senseless murder on the rest of a horrified society?

Did they stand-up unison and say “let’s get rid of killer guns once and for all”?

Mainstream politicians cross across the floor to unite saying “Let’s own up to the problem and solve it together”?

Hell No!

This is America.

In the U.S they rush down to their local gun-shop, nestled beside a coffeehouse and garden-shop, and purchase the exact same sort of guns Adam Lanza used to kill the innocents!

Yes, indeed ‘Only in America’ would sales of guns soar to record levels after a massacre like Sandy Hook.

But of course you can’t blame just the mass-murder in Connecticut for the planet’s most  paranoid human population becoming more paranoid than usual.

Some of the other reasons for Americans rearming themselves with human-killing guns have been put down to other causations.

After fear here’s another couple….

2.) The re-election of President Obama

3.) Zombies.

In number two spot it’s all about that evil socialist Obama who apparently doesn’t like his citizens pumping 11 bullets into the body and head of a seven year old girl & wants to limit their ownership. Kind-of like every other sane western country but WTF I’ve never been out of Tennessee. Jeeeze that wimp Obama cried on T.V so no wonder we as a family turned-over to watch the wrestling. Billy Joe Jr cleaned the AK-47 using KFC grease so as a treat we let him stay-up later and see the UFC.      

But moving on to reason # 3, I know you are itching for me to get to this.

Some Americans perceive a ‘real’ threat to their safety is the one posed by the walking dead, popularised on T.V and film, and this is the prime motivating factor in purchasing a gun.  

A marketing fact not lost on U.S ammo manufactures like Hornady who have their own special bullets called ‘Zombie Max’ (that's a real promo above) 

Z Max for short.

Z mispronounced zee, not zed as in the English translation.  

Ammo tested on rallies of Tea Party members i.e. brain dead humans were as close as Hornady could get without risking cries of animal cruelty.    

Seriously not even I could make up shit like this up and I’m one sick twisted prick with serious issues that can only be solved by listening to punk music and consuming large quantities of beer. 

The info on zombie-paranoia comes from no lesser (impeccable?) source than the FBI who do background checks on new gun owners.   

Purchasing a gun in preparation of the up-coming Zombie Apocalypse – I say fuck those Central Americans and their complicated calendar - is now amongst the top 10 listed reasons behind U.S ownership and climbing!   

  

Guns are Americans Mutant Gene

This is a guy in a Virginia bar have a few beers with his mates.

Yes, indeed that is a pistol of some kind poking out of his jeans.

Overseas people like me view picture this with a mixture of (a.) amusement  (b.) unease.

I certainly would not want to be in a room with a bunch of intoxicated guys carrying weapons designed to kill everyone in that space.

Yet, Americans view this as being part of their DNA, be it a mutant gene of some sort.

Like an out-of-control alcoholic the way to solve any issue is to go out and drown their sorrows.

In light of Sandy Hook we have some Americans now wanting teachers to be armed.

Why not go the whole hog and arm the kids?

Make it compulsory for everyone?

Tourists could be given lessons on how to kill (American for ‘self defence’) on arriving at LAX, JFK etc.

To elaborate on the analogy of the drunk, unless you can first accept you have a problem with alcohol you can’t solve the issue.

Americans can’t accept as a country they have a problem with guns, cling on to a piece of paper that was penned when Red Indians roamed the plains, bears the forest outside their door and when the local sheriff was a day horse-ride away.   

There is much to admire about America’s libertarian ethos, but the countries gun culture is frankly dangerous.

I am proud to live in a country where even the Police don’t carry guns in the normal course of their duties.

I enjoy going to my regular pub and having a beer without having to pack a gun.     

The U.S Gun-Laws are Fucked-Up.

I’m sorry but when people in politics and the media start proposing armed guards at Kindergartens you know there are deep underlying issues within that given society.

I have rallied on this subject before but the U.S’s issue with firearms boils down to paranoid people wandering the streets with guns.

From a Kiwi perspective it’s a scary thought thinking the guy walking towards you on a Texas Street could be carrying a weapon, could go ‘postal’ at the slightest affront.   

Placing guns in the easy reach of planets most paranoid populous is a recipe for disaster.  

So many guns there’s 9 for every in 10 U.S civilians.  

Presidents, Congressmen/women are prime targets.   

In Australia, Prime Minister John Howard summed-up the situation down here when he commented after a 1996 mass killings in that country that "we took action to limit the availability of guns, and we showed a national resolved that the gun culture that is such a negative in the U.S. would never become a negative in our country."

In New Zealand they vet all potential gun-owners to prevent known nutters like Adam Lanza getting their psychotic paws on them.

N.Z has all but banned people killing sub-machineguns.

The two main political parties here have a bi-partisan approach to gun control.

People here feel safe.

People in the U.S obviously don’t, when the only credible non-recreational reason for carrying a gun in the first-place is to shoot someone.   

By the way the photo (above) is of Caroline Previdi a six year old victim of the Sandy Hook massacre.

She looks spookily like my own daughter did at that age.

Try telling her parents the U.S gun laws aren’t fucked-up.