Thursday, December 31, 2009


Hello there citizens,

I have decided this blog ‘Canterbury Atheist’ has largely done its dash.

Articles will now fall to a trickle.

I will continue blogging in the New Year under a new alias but with a broader auspice and subject matter.

I am in the last throws of completing my first work of fiction – black comedy to be exact – now comes the giant hurdle of getting it published.

So it is writing of a more profitable kind I intend mostly pursuing – plus I’ve decided to make a short film of a futuristic nature.

Mind-you I have said this before and made a come-back from ‘the dead’ so who knows.

See you round.

Paul...vanishes into the ether in a puff of smoke.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Religious Terrorists feed-on political-correctness.

Picture this there are ten rugby teams plus hangers-on from New Zealand about to board the plane ex Auckland to Los Angeles.

The share-size of the tour group means they take-up all but two seats in the aircraft.

The other two seats are taken by two male students aged 22 and 24 from The Middle East who have been studying in Auckland, and carry passports from Yemen.

So the numbers are: 550 Kiwi rugby tourists traveling AKL-LAX and two middle-eastern students.

Which group is it that poses a greater risk to the safety of this aircraft?

The answer is self-evident but deliberately ignored by every airline/government/security organisation in the world (excepting Israel who are ruthless in their role and care little what anyone thinks)

The fact remains terrorists are by-in-large easy to spot (a.) they are males under 40 years old (b.) they are Muslim (c.) they are itinerant and no longer live in their home countries.

So why not target these individuals?

After-all we all know how to identify 99% of them?

This process starts with looking at their backgrounds, before they even get on-board an aircraft.

The reason why aircraft safety is compromised and everyone is treated as a potential terrorist is ‘political correctness.’

Spineless Airlines and Governments in the west can not be seen to ‘target’ one set of people over-another.

They place political correctness ahead of passenger safety.

If more attention was being spent checking the backgrounds of religious terrorists and automatically examining every inch of the ‘high-risk’ group’s person/baggage – flights would be a hell of a lot safer.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Teabagging for Jesus? What next?

Clearly things are tough to the members of this church forced into prostitute themselves by offering this ‘service’ to random passers-by.

But then again, is she merely letting strangers know what she gets up-to in the privacy of her bedroom? Indicative of the fact Christians are more open-minded than I give them credit for?

Monday, December 21, 2009

New Zealand Football turns a blind-eye to Animal Sacrifice.

Using the backward reasoning of ‘when in Rome’ FIFA and the participant countries have all turned a blind-eye to the imminent slaughter of cows as a part of blessing ceremonies at each of South Africa’s stadia.

This is not a pleasant and humane method of slaughter for the poor cattle, sacrificed to appease the superstitious Zulu’s who seek the blessing of their dead relatives.

For those who are squeamish it may pay to give this You Tube video a miss.

For The South Africans who want to present their country and the continent in a new light these sacrifices will go to prove their detractors jibes about ‘primitive natives’ and bring in to focus their ability to host the worlds largest sporting event.

Justification’s that the inhumane slaughter of animals is part of African values and culture speaks volumes about these very values and culture.

One hopes The N.Z Football Association, who have so-far failed to say a word on this issue, will have the guts to speak-out against this mass animal abuse.

Friday, December 18, 2009

New Zealand’s Christian Taliban demand their version of Christmas can be the only one!

Christmas is the one time of the year where you would anticipate all of Christianities variants would unite to celebrate the birth of their messiah – bury the hatchet.

But there has been few Christian good-tidings for St Michaels Anglican Church in Auckland over the festive season.

Recently they placed this risqué poster outside their church to simulate debate amongst all peoples about the story of Christ’s birth , including non-believers, or as Archdeacon Glynn Cardy put-it “We actually think God is about the power of love as shown in Jesus, which is something quite different than a literal man up in the sky,"

The archdeacon says the plan behind the billboard was to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story – and frankly they did a good job and get my congratulations on a great marketing job – it’s a winner.

However whilst atheists may have gotten a giggle out of this novel approach to ‘bring Christ back into Christmas’ – not so the fundamentalists in the Christian ranks.

And it doesn’t get any more fundamentalist in New Zealand than Family First and The Catholic Church.

Their followers and ilk have been stirred into action and in the ultimate act of Christian charity first vandalized and then ripped the poster down.

St Michaels office phone has forced to go straight to a message centre after be lambasted with abusive calls and threats.

The Police are now involved.

Like any good fundamentalists the Christian Taliban see themselves as ‘the true believers’ and ‘holders of the truth’ and will break the law, threaten and abuse those that stand in their way – even if their targets are the largest Christian denomination in New Zealand.

To interpret The Bible any other way than their own – is to quote several threats emailed to the church ‘blasphemy’.

Well here is my own Christmas message to the spokespeople of Family First and Catholic Church, Bob McCoskrie and Lyndsay Freer and those who wish to stifle freedom of speech.

“Who needs Atheist bus adverts when there are bigots like you doing the job for free?”

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The National Party Religious Right Flexes It’s Muscle

If you want to doom yourself to the political wastelands in this country – mention God and voters will run a mile.

Then ask Peter Dunne how hard it is to control the religious zealots in ones ranks.

The blinkered & superstitious M.P’s who vote for God before country and turn their backs on the very political-party they owe their livelihoods too, all to appease their invisible deity.

New Zealand voters learnt exactly what sort of ‘DNA’ makes-up The National Party last week when it’s ‘Christian’ M.P’s voted down legislation that would have meant more liberalised Easter Shopping.

These National members of parliament deliberately stepped away from the mainstream of their party and voted for their superstition first – party politics & their constituents second.

In other-words they spat in the faces of those that elected them thinking, wrongly as it turns-out, National was a pro-business, pro-choice party.

It’s not till you take a look at the backgrounds of these National MP’s that sided with Labour and Greens to see the Easter Shopping Legislation defeated you see why National has a mini-caucus that answers only to the God of The Old Testament and not to mortals.

MP’s that are happy to turn their backs on both the voters and the party they supposedly back and rode into power on.

BILL ENGLISH: Papist with eleven children.

ERIC ROY: Presbyterian Church Leader in the real world

JONATHAN YOUNG: Senior Minister of City Church in West Auckland

SAM LOTU LIGA: High-up in Penrose/Greenlane Christian Centre

TIM MACINDOE: Was the Deputy Head of Anglican Boys School

CHESTER BURROWS: Lay-Preacher on his days off

Someone else can expand on the religious affiliations of the other four National MP’s (Phil Heatley, Shane Arden, Katrina Shanks) who showed their ‘true colours.’ when it comes to matters of conscience.

Mark my words this won’t be the last time this ‘moral-minority’ will embarrass National and their voters.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What a load of Bull!

As a male I do heaps of channel-surfing and with the whole gambit of Sky Channels at my disposal that equates to a shit-load of random channel changes in any one evening.

Two nights ago I stumbled on-to this ‘Only in America’ snippet.

I genuinely had to check the channel to see if this was not some sort of comedy skit such was the farcical nature.

Looking over the clip again off You Tube the absurdity of this so-called ‘news’ item becomes even more clearer.

If your nominated God was going to offer ‘a sign’ surely he/she could do a better job than this?

This is a run-down farm in Connecticut, which appears to have more genetic throw-backs amongst its human occupants than its bovine.

Then there’s the cross itself.

Frankly the cross on this bull looks as if it was done in water-colours and the artist dabbed a bit too much water on the brush. The technique sucks.

The cross bears more resemblance to Scientology than a Christian crucifix so were of an opinion this was a sign from a deity rather than something unusual and mildly interesting – there is more evidence of the mysterious beyond-the-grave works of L.Ron Hubbard as opposed to the nameless Abrahamic god.

The real interesting thing in this clip is this – what happens if this bulls off-spring all have this pattern?

Will this mean Darwinian biology kicks-in and their progeny live their lives out without threat of premature death and thus become the dominant cows by virtue of this ‘cross-like’ pattern, coupled-with superstitious hick-farmers who spare them from being made into burger patties?

The scenario reminds me of the Dr Seuss story about the stars on the bellies of Sneetches.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Reports authors state Family First mislead N.Z Public

When does Family First actually get something right?

This ideologically driven pressure-group is not gifted at picking winners and has failed dismally to achieve the goals it has set out to do = a society based on The Old Testament.

Time after time Family First and their ubiquitous spokesman Bob McCoskie shoot-off at the mouth (often in tongues) rather than doing a semblance of research & thinking-through the consequences of their actions.

This time last years they claimed Divorce Rates were harming the New Zealand Economy. One small fact seemed to have escaped their paid researchers - but not myself. Taking their Leviticus logic to its natural conclusion, the fastest way to reduce the so-called harmful effects of divorce is for more Kiwis to become atheists – who are comparatively less represented than Christians in statistics.

Family First wanted Kiwi’s to boycott The Hells Pizza chain (2006) over their condom promotion – giving their targets more free publicity than they ever could have possibly paid for – increasing their sales and establishing their brand.

The year prior they demanded the T.V Program ‘Californication’ be taken off our screens – which again had just the opposite effect – alerting the public there was graphic sex scenes on free-to-view state T.V resulting in ratings sky-rocketed.

So you can firmly place where Family First falls in the ideological spectrum Bob McCoskie personally wanted The Simpson's taken off our screens in 2005 due to foul language.

Over the years bans and boycotts are Family Firsts modus operandi & the list grows year by year they crudely attempt to sledge-hammer their so-called ‘family values’ on-to a reluctant society.

‘Boobs on Bikes’ – should be banned.

‘AIDS pamphlets depicting genitalia ’ – should be banned

‘Web Site Miss Bimbo’ – should be boycotted

‘Girls kissing Girls Radio Competition’ – banned and boycotted.

Now the latest flummox in a long line of them, is their failled attempt to repeal smacking legislation. Family First were one of the major drivers of the appalling worded referendum held this year that wasted 9 million dollars and achieved - yet again - nothing.

This weeks released report commissioned by the incoming National Government into whether smacking laws were effective and if inconsequential smacking by parents had lead to criminal prosecution (which Family First claimed was the reality) has lead the authors of the report to single-out Family Firsts central-role in scare-mongering.

Yet, again Family First got their facts horribly wrong and many of the cases they had championed as being evidence of ‘good parents being targeted’ were at best selective and as one of the authors Nigel Latta told New Zealanders “that can lead it to throwing weight behind parents who don't deserve it and in so doing mislead the public.”

Latta went on to tell of one case Family First had ‘backed’ on Radio New Zealand that they had solicited support for their cause by highlighting “a case were a parent prosecuted for hitting a child with a pillow " but went on to clarify that “at face value extreme over-reaction" but then introduced the real-facts that “it turned out the (perpetrator) had more than 70 convictions for violent offences.”

It was just the bit about the pillow-slapping Family First hollered-about to the local news-media – not the other 70 plus cases of assaults the abuser was found to have perpetrated.

In-fact ALL the cases Family First forwarded cases to Mr Latta and his committee to review as part of some pattern of over-zealous authorities prosecuting innocent parents – in not one of them did Latta feel Child, Youth and Family and police behaved in an appropriate fashion.

Latta is scathing of the Family Firsts selective reporting and its scaremongering – telling McCoskie and his rabble they were at times duped into believing false testimony and, as I said in my introduction, not doing their homework.

Thanks to Latta’s honesty and frankness New Zealanders now know Family First, a so-called Christian based organisation, were happy to back convicted scum-bag child-abusers to achieve their narrow political goals.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Life after Death ‘The Evidence’ – Sweat F**k All!

I’ve never heard of this numb-skull D’Souza before this, but he doesn’t get off to a good start when he’s asked “Is there life after death?” and he replies “I think there is?” Hardly convincing stuff when you are trying to flog-off a book proving life after death is real.

Next his constant, if not convenient, confusion of ‘near death’ with ‘death death’ – there is a big difference between the two concepts – we happen to call it eternity.

No one has ever come back from the full-blooded version of death.

If I pumped a full magazine into his head, I don’t think he’ll be telling us about ‘tunnels’ and ‘lights’ anytime soon.

Yes, like most humans Atheists like me are shit-scared of death but we don’t make-up stories to comfort ourselves at night in our caves – instead we get enjoy our one and only chance at it and would rather spend the money on alcohol rather than this turkeys absurd ramblings.

Conclusion: There is of course life after death – just not for the dead people.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


It’s not a good week to be an animal of any kind in Nepal, particularly Buffalo's – 200,000 of them alone, are due to be slaughtered.

Add to the 'death-list' pigs, goats, chickens and pigeons and anything else the superstitious Nepalese can get their bloodied hands-on.

In case you missed it, the world’s largest animal sacrifice The Gadhimai Festival, which happens once every five years, is taking place this week in Bariyapur southern Nepal.

The highlight of the festival is the ritual slaughters of more than a quarter of a million animals for Gadhimai - a goddess of power.

Participants believe that animal sacrifices for the Hindu goddess Gadhimai will end evil and bring prosperity.

The fact the festival has been going for centuries without any apparent abatement to evil around the world and Nepal remains to this day one of the poorest countries in the world – has escaped devotees.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Calling all Atheist’s to get out and Support The Church of Scientology!

It hasn’t been a good few months for the followers of b-grade sci-fi writer L.Ron Hubbard.

First a French Court found The Church of Scientology had defrauded its members and this week across the Tasman we have a South Australian MP calling for an enquiry in Canberra.

The Australian Senator Xenophon (no he's not a distant relation to the evil space-overlord) said he had received correspondence from former members of Scientology implicated the organisation in a range of crimes, including forced imprisonment, coerced abortions, embezzlement of church funds, physical violence, intimidation and blackmail.

Then Scientology's chief spokesman, Tommy Davis (evidently Tom seems a popular name for those who believe in Alien occupations of earth and the liberal use of very large numbers) stormed out of a television interview with Martin Bashir in a rage befitting a person of a far lower operating level [refer You-Tube video above]

The thetans must well and truly be enveloping the COS hierarchy producing itchy-welts that won’t go away – even with the most thorough auditing and creams.

And I for one feel sorry for them!

That’s right I feel sorry for The Church of Scientology.

The major thing that COS does wrong and pisses the public-off - is to charge above market rates for their load of superstition.

The ‘Johnny come lately’ COS also has the audacity to believe in invisible alien life forms as opposed to the traditional invisible deities worshipped for millennia – this too brings it’s detractors.

Having a f*ck-knuckle like Tom Cruise as a poster boy & a propensity to act like the East German Secret-Service can’t have helped their cause either.

So if the media and state-authorities around the globe are going to target COS and portray them as a bogus religion - we must place the same burden of proof on all their competitors.

The Islamic religion believes their messiah split the moon in two.

The Christian religion believes the earth was made in six days.

Are these any more credible propositions than Xenu?

As I have just stated what pisses the public off (atheists and theists alike) is the way they function and not their actual beliefs – which are a bunch of expensive crap as opposed to the discounted version available at other corner churches - except of course Destiny up-in Auckland.

My message to COS – believe you me they troll the internet looking for detractors and insignificant dissertations such as this - is to start offering a 2 for 1 discount and run sale to coincide with that false-holiday the other pretenders call Christmas.

PS: On the right of this blog are the results of the recent month long poll I ran to find-out the weirdest religion. Guess who won?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Home-Grown Christian Terrorists(?) face lesser charges!

It would seem to most that the religiously motivated crime such as that allegedly perpetrated in Blenheim by three self-confessed ‘Christian Activists’ (September 2008) would by rights be deemed an act of sabotage, under newly drafted post Sept 11th terrorism laws, and the suspects immediately imprisoned awaiting trial.

But the three activists, Adrian Leason, Fr Peter Murnane and Sam Land who allegedly deflated the protective dome covering a satellite dish at Waihopai last year have laughingly been charged with little more than intentional damage and burglary – rather than sabotage.

They now face a maximum of 6 years in jail rather than 14 had the charges been made under The Terrorism Act.

A trial is scheduled for The Wellington High Court in March next year.

New Zealand obviously is a soft-option for those like Ploughshares Aotearoa group behind the attack who want to see the Taliban returned to power in Afghanistan, Saddam Husseins old government reinstated in Iraq, and are willing to attack the equipment of those trying to bring peace and security to the peoples of these embattled countries.

To re-fresh your memory immediately after allegedly setting the Kiwi taxpayer back a million bucks with their wanton vandalism, the trio built a shrine and knelt in prayer to remember the people killed by United States military activity. Hardly surprisingly no prayers appeared to have been offered at the time to the victims of al-Qaeda or the despotic regimes that New Zealand and other countries are spilling blood to remove.

All three ‘Christian Activists’ facing trial have long histories of Anti-American protests.

Sam Land (above) was arrested in a similar attack at Pine Gap in Australia (2006).

All three are staunch Catholics and in accordance with their Churches teachings they want to see an end to The Jewish State of Israel.

Adrian Leason (above) hatred of The Jewish State and went as far as organising a pro-Hamas pro-Palestine protest in Wellington (January 2009 - post the base attack) and for theatrical effect dressing his six year old daughter up in bloodied bandages, like so.

After looking at the despicable way he manipulated his own young-child for his own political gain you’ll be amazed to learn Leason was in-fact at one stage seen fit to be a senior Child Youth and Family adviser - at National Office level!

Father Murnane was a flat-mate of convicted (in absentia) Islamic terrorist Ahmed Zaoui and threw blood all over the Wellington U.S Consulate office in 2003.

Despite being expressly forbidden by the Courts in Blenheim last year for those charged with the attack not to mix in each other company – guess who turned up in his bloodied bandages to have his chance to preach anti-Semitism at Leason’s protest?

That’s right it’s good old Friar Murnane getting stuck into those ‘Christ Killers’.
Footnote: Just to emphasis the deep-seated Anti-Jewish streak amongst the protesters in Wellington later that day another Catholic Priest desecrated an Israeli war memorial.

As I have stated before had the person who attacked the Waihopai Base been Mullah Mohammed Omar rather than a Catholic Friar Murnane - Police Prosecutors would view this differently.

Had they all bowed to Mecca after the attack rather than knelling and praying to a Christian god, we would be seeing the first religiously inspired terrorist trial in March rather than these watered-down civil charges.

Hopefully by the end of March, Leasons brat will really have something to cry about.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Jesus was an Ugly Blackman

PS: I am getting better with my crappy Windows Movie Maker - even if I do say so myself.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The GODS of The Bible

I've just released my first You Tube Video entitled 'The GODS of The Bible.'

There are after-all many Gods in the pages of The Bible.

Gods which a singular jealous God called Yahweh and his followers want us to now ignore.

Enjoy and be enlightened.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Religions Unheralded Role in New Zealand’s Suicide Statistics.

New Zealand has one of the worst levels of suicide in the world & youth suicide in this country is a major issue.

The reasons for suicide are complex and often linked to mental health problems - depression being the number one precursor.

SPINZ (Suicide Prevention Information NZ) is the national body charged with reducing suicide in this country by providing the public with preventative strategies such as improving self-esteem.

Some of these ‘red lights’ family members and friends should look for include:

- Feeling down all the time
- Say that life isn’t worth living
- Get into death image and music
- Use alcohol in excess or drugs
- Acting ‘out of it’, dangerous or violent
- Out of character risk-taking
- Changes in personality

Despite the comprehensiveness of sites like SPINZ there was a disturbing oversight in their advice.

They all failed to deal with one of the lesser-known causes of suicide.

The ugly ‘throw-back’ child that is spoken about in hushed tones even in professional circles, as if it didn’t exist.

We are not talking about the easy cubby-holes of death metal and Marilyn Manson – its belief in the after life & the false hope entities, homo-erectus chimps have named, Gods offer to those seeking help.

International Suicide research shows there is a major ‘at risk’ group that feels they are disenfranchised from their families, peers and society as a whole. This is why homosexuals are over represented in suicide statistics.

Those that fail to integrate into the mainstream are therefore vulnerable, so are those that have suffered a relationship breakdown.

So back to the whispered role religion plays in suicide – the taboo subject within the taboo subject.

Religious apologists argue that ‘good’ comes from religious adherence and individuals are instilled a belief they are loved unconditionally, are part of a community and have a greater purpose.

Theist beliefs and those ‘at risk’ therefore have to be dealt with as a whole.

The success stories of those turned around at the edge of the cliff by a new found belief in God are touted publicly - but what about the failures?

When religion fails to treat the symptoms or makes them worse we hear nothing?

Surely it is the role of the state (via SPINZ etc) to monitor bogus treatments in this contentious and convoluted area of human-psychiatry and highlight the possible dangers of indoctrinating often mentally-ill individuals with tales of invisible beings and Lord of The Rings type stories with unicorns and seven-headed dragons?

Offering someone hope is fine – but what if that hope is a false one?

Placing a meme in someone mind that “Jesus loves you” if no one else does is meaningless in itself when your own crap-life continues spiraling out of control and you still see no way out of your hole.

What happens if the only person who supposedly loves you unconditionally also lets you down when you seek their help?

What happens if you are Gay and you get told you are inherently evil and need ‘rescuing’?

Hold-on, if you listen hard to what your new found buddies are telling-you there is a way out from the dark-times!

A place which by definition of the word is: paradise.

It’s called ‘heaven’.

How does one get to this place?

Well the quickest way to get to heaven is not to give your life to Christ and wait for old-age – simply kill your-self.

You can be re-united with love ones, live an infinite ethereal existence without the pain.

Rub shoulders with Mother Teresa, Martin Luther, a whole bunch of virginal Popes and if you so desire it Peter Pan & the interesting half The Beatles as well.

Instead of dealing with the ‘issues’ of those with suicidal tendencies in certain individuals religion offers not just offers false-hope but a way-out – the imaginary ‘after-life’.

For those that doubt the power of religious indoctrination & suicide I have a one word answer: Martyrdom.

Note: The letter at the top of the article is an actual 'Suicide Note'.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Say Bring-on The Rapture!

I hope the Christian God gets some time-off in his busy schedule to read this fervent plea.

Diary reading my dissertation in-between devastating South Pacific Islands with tsunamis and giving some innocent an incurable disease.


I prostrate myself in your presence begging-you to whisk your believers off this planet and up-into the heavens.

The effect would be an immediate increase in the average IQ scores of at least 10 points.

Scientists and researchers could go about their business without baseless interference and as a result the life expediency would, in time, increase.

There would be no need to go-out murdering and maiming in your name any more.

People would judge other humans on their merits, not on their sex or sexuality.

Mankind could prevent the AID’s epidemic in Africa spreading further with the mass distribution of condoms your followers say are evil. Millions on that Continent would be saved.

All the time, effort and money that are currently wasted on worshipping you can be better directed into education, health care, feeding the hungry etc etc.

Boy oh boy, there are just so many positives that would result in you ridding planet-earth of all your devotees.

So stop pissing about 'Big Fella' and send that one way ticket to the clouds to your followers - before they drive me crazy and mankind back into cave dwellers!

It’s a win/win for all parties involved.

Yours sincerely.

‘One of the Home Team’.

PS: Oh yeah, another benefit for us heathen-types is the standard of music would go up proportionately as well.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Lay-Preacher – now there’s an appropriate name if there ever was one

The disturbing and bizarre sex-life of a New Zealand lay-preacher, was exposed to public scrutiny in District Court dispositions last week.

The lay preacher, who also ironically moon-lighted as a marriage guidance counselor, is facing claims he sexually abused and stalked two of his ex-wives and a stepson.

The man, whose name, job and church role is suppressed for now, is now facing trial early next year on seven counts of sexual violation, six counts of indecent assault and 11 other charges relating to his former wives. There are also two indecency charges relating to his stepson.

The preacher claims all three aggrieved parties conspired together as part of a vendetta.

However The District Court said there was enough evidence for him to face trial.

His first wife told the court they began having marital problems due to his sexual demands and sort help with Church elders. At one of these meetings church elders basically rubber-stamped his desire for ‘sex on demand’ by telling her there was religious justification that "my body belonged to my husband".

In what must be one of the corniest demands for sex every presented to a court the first wife alleged her ex-husband propositions involved putting his hands on her and saying "Be healed in Jesus name." If sex did not result, he was alleged to have repeated the action until it did.

After separating, she claimed he apologised for the sexual assaults, saying his problem & justification stemmed from a sexual relationship with his mother as a teenager.

The second wife alleged that among the assaults she was raped in a spa pool in front of another family member.

Her son also claimed to be abused by the ‘man of God.’

Wife ‘two’ said she too went through the sham church-led marriage counselling, claiming she was told that if she refused her husband sex then he was free to perform a sex act with her against her will.

You can be sure there will be more sordid details to come-out next year when the full trial is set to start, along with the name of the dysfunctional church involved.

Monday, October 12, 2009

This Atheist Goddess can ride-on my Red Bus any-day

When I first spotted Richard Dawkins with this delectable piece of female flesh promoting the Atheist Bus Campaign in the U.K, my initial impression was she was in-on the photo-shoot as a piece of eye-candy.

Boy was I was wrong and way out-of-the-loop on this ("Geography is my only defense, your honour.")

The lady in the photo, Dawkins is clinging to, in a fatherly fashion of course, is none other than Ariane Sherin – the creator of the bus campaign!

Yes, it was Ariane’s idea.

Here’s a link to her blog – including details on her new book ‘The Atheists Guide to Christmas’.

More importantly, here’s more photo’s of this Uber Atheist Poster Girl.

Make that centre-fold (if I had my lewd way)

PS: If there is a slight-hint these writings are nothing-more than the sexist ramblings of a some-what sad middle-aged man, you are completely correct in your summation.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Let’s call an end to this Interfaith Crap!

From the outset let’s get this straight - the term ‘inter-faith’ is nothing of the sort.

The term is an oxymoron.

The fact Governments see the necessity to coerce the different religions around the one table in the first-place, is indicative enough of the fact ‘inter-faith’ is nothing but a shame & a total waste of tax-payers money (although great for MP’s frequent-flyer points)

No talk feast will ever change the theological chasm that separates religions as diverse, weird & wonderful as Scientology and Jesus Christ and The Later Day Saints.

Yes people, the New Zealand Government sees fit to invite even the followers of the intergalactic war-lord Xenu over for a chat-over tea and biscuits.

Politicians appear to be oblivious to the fact that every religious representative that sits down at that table in so-called ‘dialogue’ thinks they are right and the individual person next to them is totally wrong, and unless they come around to their way of thinking are doomed to some retribution in the afterlife.

Have they not observed Churches around the globe going out of their way to ignore human rights?

Shooting and bombing each other out of existence.

Do they not know ‘The War on Terror’ is but a politically-correct wank-term for a ‘War on Radical Religion’?

In a grand irony it is these very same Governments that organise these inter-faith bitch-sessions are the same-ones that go out of their way to pander to the varying superstitions, allowing them to engage in behaviour normally labeled sexist or homophobic under the guise of their beliefs, even supporting them to develop their own divisive schooling-systems which perpetrate the very issues these inter-faith meetings want to address.

So it is Governments themselves that have the power and tools to rid themselves of this perpetual war of beliefs that has spilt-over into secular life and now threatens us all.

Wiping-out religious privilege is the only cure – not talk-feasts in 5 star-hotels.

To take stock of the endemic level of bureaucratic brown-nosing when it comes to superstitious-entities, what better example than looking-at what our last Minister of so-called ‘Ethnic Affairs’ got up-to.

Between February and September last year as MP for that portfolio, Chris Carter attended in an official capacity the following long-list of pointless mumbo-jumbo meetings on behalf of you and me.

As a matter of public-safety I hope our very own ‘Captain Scarlett’ Chris Carter wore his public-service issue shiny tin-foil-hat to all of these equivalents of ‘entrails-throwing under a full-moon’ to protect him from the harmful-rays The Mysterons keep shooting at us from their base on Mars.

Frankly belief in concept of a race of little-green men (with/without puppet strings)on Mars has more credibility than ‘The Birth of Baba Deep Singh’.

So why do we pander to this farcical political-correct cobblers?

Birth of Baba Deep Singh Celebration
Chinese Consulate Chinese New Year Celebration (3 of these in-fact)
International Mother Language and Martyrs Day Celebrations
Meeting with NZ Buddhist Council
Year of the Rat New Year Festival
National Interfaith Forum
Dinner with Sikh Community Leaders
Holi Celebrations
International Convention on Basava Philosophy
Ministerial Meeting on Immigration Policy and Faith Leaders
Norouz Celebrations
Opening of Shree Dham Swaminarayan Temple
Takanini Gurdwara 3rd Anniversary
Visit to Jam Tse Dhargyey Ling Buddhist Centre, Kamo
2008 Buddha’s Day Multicultural Festival, Auckland
Fourth Asia-Pacific Regional Dialogue on Interfaith Co-operation for Peace and Harmony, Cambodia
Meeting with NZ Compassion Buddhist Trust
Meeting with Waikato Muslim Association, Hamilton
Songkran Festival, Auckland
Vaisakhi Celebration at Takanini Sikh Gurdwara
2008 Buddha’s Birthday Ceremony
Khalifat Day Celebrations
St Dionysius Indian Orthodox Church Fifth Anniversary
Visit to Al Madinah School
Visit to Zayed College for Girls
2008 Moon Festival Celebrations
Meeting with NZ Muslim Association

Thursday, October 8, 2009

New Zealand Olympic Committee Whores itself to I.O.C

Small fish in a big pond, New Zealand athletes struggle for funding even in major sports. let alone the minor ones like Taekwondo.

This lack of funding hasn’t hindered Kiwi Olympic Games hopeful and martial arts exponent Logan Campbell.

Logan is getting the company he owns to fund his bid for Olympic glory in London.

There is one problem with his enterprise and initiative.

The business he owns happens to be a brothel and the New Zealand Olympic Committee has written to the athlete and business-owner stating:

"Based on the Olympic values of excellence, friendship and respect, we would place your actions as totally inconsistent with these values,"
"Your open solicitation of 'clients' for your 'business' while using the Olympic or Olympian connection must cease immediately, or the NZOC will be forced to consider taking legal action against you."

For the benefit of those of you reading this blog outside New Zealand – prostitution of this nature is perfectly legitimate.

So what exactly are these so-called ‘Olympic Values’ the N.Z Olympic Committee wishes to up-hold on behalf of its overseas big-brother?

There is little doubt the I.O.C were behind the bully tactics employed here.
The rampant drug-cheating by athletes?

Bribes and back-handers to committee members to pick their venue to stage the event?

Ironically one of the widely published inducements for voting a given-way, being the services of a high-priced prostitute.

Are these ‘values’ alluded to in the legalese - judges block-marking in sports like boxing and gymnastics?

What exactly has Logan Campbell done wrong?

The logical conclusion one can make from this is athletes who have availed themselves of a prostitute are automatically ineligible for games selection, so this could signal the beginning of a crack-down.

Yet, The Olympic Games should be about athletic excellence – moral judgments, race, religions should play no part in who wins or who comes last.

The guy who wins gold at London in Taekwondo could be a sexual-deviant with a string of failed relationships, collapsed businesses, Nazi party member and an all-round bastard of the highest order – so what?

Who has the right to stop any athlete winning let alone competing just because they don’t like an aspect of their background?

The I.O.C - that’s who.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Letter to Mr G. Capill C/- Rolleston Prison

Dear Epitome of Virtue and Morals,

So Graham, earlier this week The Parole Board has turned-down your application for early release from ‘the clink’ starting you were “an undue risk to the safety of the community'', eh?

I guess with that denial, those applications to get your old jobs back as a Police Prosecutor & Christian College Minister – also went down the gurgler.

Far be it from me, the eptimone of the filthy secular heathen you rallied against on the outside, to point-out some of the reasons why the Parole Board may well have taken this dim-view on your ability to function as a normal human-being on the outside.

- May be it could have been those emails to friends saying that sex with one of your young victims was some-how consensual?

- They may well have spotted in your file how statements made to your Probation Officer shortly after your arrest in which you revealed those feelings of lust and excitement.

- Then again the board may also have seen that at the time of the original sentencing you offered little in terms of apologising to your victims and instead were more interested in saving your own skin - asking friends to pray for a lenient judge and prison term.

- Perhaps they took into account one of the victims was eight when you began abusing her?

But even pushing this ‘dirty washing’ to one side one moment, what you need to get your head-around Graham is The Parole Board doesn’t have the same decree of automatic forgiveness your God gives-to even the-lowest-of-the-low.

The heavenly ‘Get out of Jail Free Card’ thankfully doesn’t work when you put it on the mercenary table of The Parole Board.

In-fact it rather works against you, one thinks.

You are a profound embarrassment to all those that follow the teachings of Jesus Christ in New Zealand and at the same-time cut a hypocritical figure of derision to anyone else.

So basically: no one likes you.

But let’s stop going over stuff that is well versed, let’s try and move forward and not back.

In case your legal-team and your sycophantic supporters have missed-something, the elephant in the room, The Parole Board look at the rehabilitation of the individual during his/her time incarcerated.

The inmate’s contriteness, the ability to come to terms with their crimes.

On the last two points in respect of atonement – the ones that count - you have failed miserably.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Desperate Diego dials D for Deity

The weight of expectation of a great foot-balling nation Argentina has clearly affected the already frail mental-health of its coach, South American legend, Diego Maradona.

Just four years ago he spent time in time in clinic treating his addictions to alcohol, smoking and excessive eating (the later issue resulted in a gastric by-pass)

In what is a veiled-admission “I’m not up the job” Maradona has sought divine intervention in an effort to improve his under-performing side's chances of reaching next year’s World Cup finals.

His team currently lies fifth in the continental group, one place below the final qualifying berth.

Grasping at straws Maradona is quoted telling an Argentinean radio-station “The bearded one (God) saved me many times before - and I hope he will do so this time”.

This of course isn’t the first time Maradona has sought and subsequently claimed his nameless Gods assistance.

The 1986 world champion famously dubbed in his first quarter-final goal in that year's competition the work of the “hand of God” after he punched the ball past Peter Shilton in the England goal.

In a nut-shell; he engineered the goal by cheating.

Argentina’s next ‘must-win’ game is at home against Peru, who sit bottom in the group, on October 13th.

I’m putting my money on a draw.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Move-over Joseph Goebbels, Archbishop Tomasi has hit-town

In a statement (issued 29th Sept) Vatican UN Observer Archbishop Silvano Tomasi (that’s him in the photo above giving reporters a recreation, using hand-movements, what he got-up-to with a local choir-boy the night before) has lashed-out at criticism over the Catholic Church's handling of the pedophilia crisis saying the Catholic Church was “busy cleaning its own house”.

Hardly any surprise in this last sentence given the magnitude of offending.

I only hope those of have been given the onerous-task cleaning this sordid house-up are supplied a high-powered industrial-grade detergent, thick plastic gloves
& a gas-mask.

In the same hissy-fit the Archbishop claims that the problems with clerical sex abuse in other churches were as big, if not bigger.

Which churches these were he didn’t expand-on but in a master-stroke of arrogance Tomasi was able to state with surety “it would be good if other institutions and authorities, where the major part of abuses are reported, could do the same and inform the media about it.”

His statement of contempt with echoes of Germany (1939-45)continued with more revelations - on par with the delusional ones St John had - and obscuration The Vatican has had centuries of expertise perfecting.

“Most abusive clergy who committed such acts were not pedophiles but homosexuals attracted to sex with adolescent males”

“Only 1.5%-5% of Catholic clergy were involved in child sex abuse”

“Rather than pedophilia, it would “be more correct” to speak of ephebophilia, a homosexual attraction to adolescent males”.

I’m not for one moment suggesting other ‘men of the cloth’ do not abuse children. So do atheists. All religions can point to a few bad apples, as can say teachers, The Police, lawyers and any other profession you can name.

But at the same rate as Catholic Clergy?

No f**king way!

These utterances are nothing but a tacky smoke-screen, a crude attempt to try and influence the media and public opinion.
In-effect taking heat-off the Catholic Church.

Public perception will never change until the Church itself takes responsibility for it’s own actions and contrite statements “we are not the only ones” do nothing to change this perception & merely add fuel-to-the-flames of those, like me, that say The Vatican is more interested in preserving it’s ‘good name’ than caring for the victims.
Shamefully the whole entire speech offers not one-bit of remorse.

The simple solution is turn the perpetrators (oops ‘ephebophiliacs’ we secular-heathens need to get these things right and obey our betters) over to The Police and excommunicate them.

This is the only-way of truly cleaning-up the shabby, in-denial group calling itself ‘The Holy See’ (along with a biohazard-suit)

Catholics may now prefer to call their legions of child-molesters in dog-collars the more palatable and lesser-known term ‘ephebophilia’.

To the rest of the planet they are low-down dirty kiddy-fiddling scum, not ephebohiliacs, who exploited their positions - not worthy of a decent prison cell let alone the life-long free-board, meals & pensions the Church now gives them.
The rest of society knows Homosexuals are no more or less represented in statistics relating to sex-offences - even if the Catholic Church wants to paint them as the sole arbitrators of pedophilia working under-cover in their ranks.

These logical courses of punitive action to stamp-out epidemic abuse within The Catholic Church will of course never happen, so be prepared for more contemptible propaganda and bluster like this utter-crap to keep spewing-forth from Rome’s virgin-spin-doctors.

It’s sickening and frankly embarrassing stuff for anyone who considers themselves part of The Catholic faith.

Sickly sweet, his poison seeks
For the young ones who don’t understand
The danger in his hands
With a jaundiced wink see his cunning slink

Oh trust in me my pretty one
Come walk with me my helpless one
CandymanSyrup lies upon your tongue
Gelatine saliva spills
The flash of a guillotine a smile.
Candyman - Oh Candyman
No pity for him, their misery screams
Unspeakable things
A cool missile, yes it’s in his smile
With open arms to welcome you

Beware the masked pretender
He always lies, this Candyman
Those lips conspire in treachery
To strike in cloak and dagger, see!
Candyman - Oh Candyman

And all the children, he warns “don’t tell”
Those threats are sold
With their guilt and shame they think they’re to blame
For Candyman - Oh Candyman

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You were the first apart from Farid, Abdu and then there was the little-matter of…….

In Egypt there is a large religious stigma attached to women being virgins on their wedding night.

So what is a less-than-chaste girl to do in order to hide her dirty secret from her perspective husband, on those conservative sands of Africa?

How does one hide that night of debauchery spent between the sheets with Farid at a seedy motel in Alexandria.

Then there was the little matter of what went-on on the back seat in Abdu’s Mercedes.

Fret not, don’t get tears on your black wedding dress - help is at hand.

For a measly 15 bucks you can purchase a ‘virginity faking-device’ made in China.

On your wedding-night you simply shove-it-up your fanny and after your new hubby does his thing – it releases a quantity of imitation blood (use your imagination here folks)

He’ll be none the wiser about Farid & Abdu, so why tell him about the drunken night with the local football team either?

There is only one problem - getting your soiled-paws on one these virginity faking-device has got hard (pun intended).

Islamic scholars with the support of The Egyptian Parliament are to blame for this lack of supply.

They have dubbed the device as 'evil' with the potential to spread vice in society (read: adults enjoying pre-marital sex & making individual choices)

They want the importers of the product punished according to Sharia law.

And what is the punishment to be meted-out the importers and re-sellers of these 'evil' virginity-fakers?

That one-punishment that fits all crimes under 'The Religion of Peace'.


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names…..

I recall a chapter of the fascinating book ‘Freakonomics’ which studied the correlation between Christian names and social status. The authors of Freakonomics (Levitt is a statistician & Dunbar a journo) looked at the statistical correlation between an individuals Christian-name and their chances at success in life and conversely the chances of ending-up in the slammer or in the poor-house. Cultural aberrations.

The premise was 'does a name matter'?

A different sort of social-study on the effect a Christian name can have was undertaken in the U.K recently by Warner Home Videos which polled 2000 Brits asking-them for their Scariest Christian Name.

The results of which indicate perception it appears - is everything.

Along with my own reasoning as to why these names were likely picked [in brackets] The Top 10 list of Superstitious Names coming-out of Britain were:

1) Damien [Omen Films]
2) Myra [Moor Murders Myra Hindley]
3) Carrie [Stephen King book and film]
4) Rosemary [Rosemarys Baby a 60’s film by Roman Polanski
5) Judas [Jesus so-called betrayer]
6) Adolf [Popular in German-speaking countries until 1945]
7) Pandora [Don’t open her box whatever you do!]
8) Regan [Linda Blair played Regan in The Exorcist]
9) Samara [Was that goth-looking girl in Jap horror The Ring]
10) Boris [no bloody idea]

The heavy influence movies have in deciding ‘what is scary name?’ is evident, although perhaps because it was a movie company behind the polling may have influenced the thinking of those answering?

The likely-fact a movie can influence an individuals perception to this degree is a frightening enough realisation in itself and an indictment on the gullibility of people.

There also appears to be a sad-lack of historic references in the list. Myra and Adolf being the only non-fictional characters [NB: The jury is out on Judas Iscariot]

If one were to pick an evil-doer from Greek mythology surely Pandora was never a A-List evil-doer like say Medusa? For what it' worth I can't ever remember meeting a Pandora nor a Medusa anyway.

So it’s interesting stuff indeed delving into the human psyche and how a name can be deemed inherently 'bad' without any substantive-evidence to back it-up or at best a throw-away reference to a 25 year-old movie.

Moving from this theme, the question I would like to pose is: are all Otago babies named David instantly damned, or whisked silently from their cradles at Dunedin Hospital at midnight by German aupairs resembling shot-putters?

Given what we know constitutes a scary name I’m also going to suggest that Hollywood is about to curse the name Leslie with the imminent release of a film about Manson Family member Leslie Van Houten (trailer below) The title is enough to do-the-trick on it’s own.

PS: As a side-issue Michael Laws has dubbed the term 'Silly First Name Syndrome' correlating the high number of New Zealand criminals & victims of crime (often their family) who have weird Christian names (google it) The ODT also highlighted this synergy here.

Creepy Cross-dresser Scares Innocent Arachnid! (Viewer-Discretion recommended)

PS: Oh yeah, what’s that on the Pontiffs left cheek? Love-bite from a tryst with an errant altar-boy? Don’t tell me it’s a beauty mark?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Caring Atheists fill-the-void for Christians on ‘extended leave’

An enterprising atheist in New Hampshire has started a unique-service for the Christians in his community.

A Post-Rapture Pet-Care Service!

The rationale is perfectly sound.

What happens to Fido the mutt,Mittens the moggy when their masters are suddenly spirited-away to the heavens?

It’s not as if God is going to post a You-Tube announcing the event so you can open 200 cans of jelly-meat in advance, is it?

So Christians face their beloved pets becoming tasty-treats for the heathen masses left roaming the planet or even worse – letting them be adopted by a Hindu family.

The dire consequences of abandoning loved-family members whilst you waltz-around in the bosom of your savior up-in-the clouds - doesn’t bear thinking-about.

Enter the pet after-life insurance company Eternal Earth Bound Pets.

In the event of rapture those that have committed their lives to Jesus Christ and love their pets, can now pre-book an Atheist to come around and take care of their soulless beast.

It’s a win/win as far I’m concerned.

I wonder who has the New Zealand franchise?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Jedi feels the full-force

I have briefly come-out of self-imposed hibernation, to highlight this ridiculous & highly amusing pantomime currently going-on in Wales (when you read the article the term ‘pantomime’ seems to be a perfect description)

The guy in the photo is Welshman, Daniel Jones, who appears for all intents & purposes , to be on his way to a fancy-dress do - dressed as Luke Skywalker.

First appearances can be misleading.

Danny ‘boy’ takes this Jedi Knight thing seriously, and is the self-appointed leader of The Jedi Church of U.K.

Given his lofty status I was hoping to find some confirmation he could use ‘the force’ to move things telepathically, like ripping the clothes-off desirable women without being detected.

But enough of this jest.

The Jedi Church considers itself as a bona-fide religion with a worldwide membership of 500,000. In the 2001 Census, 390,000 Englishmen ticked- the-box saying they were Jedi.

So when Jedi Jones got tossed out of his local Tesco supermarket last-week for wearing his hood, it doesn’t take much to guess his reaction.

He went bleating to the media crying “Religious discrimination”.

In-what was a masterpiece of rebuttal the spokesperson for Tesco, in 50 words of less, had this to say…..

“We would ask Jedi to remove hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side.”.

“If Jedi Knights wear their hoods, they may miss our specials”.

But here’s 'the bully'

What happened if Daniel, who by the way also employs the Jedi name Morda Hahol, had of entered the supermarket in a traditional turban or other so-called religious regalia?

Say like this fella, from the Russian Orthodox Church.

Similarly, would supermarket-security descended on a woman wearing Muslim headdress?
To the best of my knowledge Jedi's are not renowned for acts of indiscriminate violence - tubeway attacks, hijackings etc.

Tesco’s have probably dug them-selves a hole on this one, but one major question remains unanswered.

“When he was initially confronted by Tescos staff, why didn’t Morda Hahol simply use his mind control powers?”.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Canterbury Atheist Blog in Hibernation

Attention All:

My blog is ‘off the air’ indefinitely as at 01st July 2009.

I need to concentrate on finishing a book I started writing earlier this year, and is currently ‘stalled’ about a third-of-the-way through.

It’s a black-comedy, by the way.

So I’ve made the hard-decision that becoming a published author is a far worthier goal comparatively, than ‘a mere blogger’.

The investment in time and mental output, spent writing articles for this blog, would be better invested in the pages of my book.

The pay as an author is also miles better.

Can’t say when, or if, I will be back?

Depends on how the book goes.

May the blessings of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, fall upon you.



Note: Advice for first time authors is appreciated & can be left in the comments section.

Monday, June 29, 2009

The 'What is God?' Challenge

I am putting-up NZ$1,000 to anyone who can explain to me, in terms I can understand…

“What is God?”

This is a genuine offer (refer conditions below)

I will keep-posting this offer, so there are no time-restraints or limits on the number of submissions, nor for that matter the entrants location.

I will act as the sole arbitrator – this is for my benefit.

Please do not confuse the question “What is God?” with “Is there a God?”.

For anyone to answer the question “Is there a God?” we first need to establish the definition of ‘God’.

So imagine you are describing a domestic cat to someone who has never encountered one.

Let’s not get bogged-down in platitudes or meandering philosophical abstracts.

Nor do I want-to-get involved in semantics.

A cat has teeth and claws, this we understand ,without breaking-down the teeth and claws into their make-up, functions etc - nor having to require a Biology degree.

Just stick to the basic ‘make-up’ of God.

For example since The Bible tells us believers will enter heaven to be by his side, clearly this means he has sides – right?

But is he a square of a hexagon?

Have I misinterpreted ‘by his side’?

Apparently humans are made in his ‘image’?

So if I bumped into God at the Supermarket, what would I behold? Would his male appendage be obvious?

We are told looks down-on us 24/7, so with all the activity he has to monitor it’s reasonable to think he has a multitude of eyes - a bit like a house-fly?

See what I’m after?

Keep referring back to the child-like domestic cat scenario when answering and you won’t go wrong.

Remembering a cat is more than an animal with fur.

Keep at the back of your mind, I am not one of the 3 billion humans that are 100% sure God exists, and have never to the best of my knowledge meet a God, nor encountered any of his magical powers.

You need to start from square-one with me.

Also peoples, please do not belittle me by calling into question my intelligence or open-mindedness with statements like “You won’t understand”. May be I will, when you use terms any layman will understand.

Further it was a God that saw fit to use words as the sole method to describe his workings in his manifesto. These words ‘of God’ are what believers follow. Not a DVD or You-Tube - a book called 'The Bible'. Therefore if it is good enough for God to use words to convey such crucial information like; man-kinds life-mission, creation, what happens when we die etc - then surely there is scope in the written language to describe this ‘God’? By stating there are no words to describe God you are in-fact bringing into question the writings of The Bible and Gods very existence.




I will donate the money (equivalent of USD 700)to go to a ‘Secular’ Non-Political ‘New Zealand Registered Charity’. Like say Child Cancer or Crippled Children Society etc. All of the winners own choice. Overseas entrants are fine. Those of you from overseas may prefer to opt for an International Charity organisation (without religious or political ties). I will act as the sole arbitrator. No correspondence entered into. Leave your answers in the comments section.The more pedantic in our midst can contact canterburyatheist at

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Half-Time Score: Frank Zappa 14 - Michael Jackson 0

“Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man -- and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is ''bad.'' (FZ)

How many of the world mainstream media outlets lead with the story of Frank Zappa’s death in 1993?

None, that’s how many!

Today’s unwarranted adulation of Michael Jackson exposes the injustice of a ‘true musical-genius versus marketing pantomime come phenomenon’.

We see this, in both the public and media circles.

Fuck throw-away POP-ULAR fucking Music!

It’s SHIT!

Let me spell it out for those of you, who may be hard of hearing……S…..H…..I…..T.

Ya, got it?

When The Spices Girls sell more than Radiohead, it’s apparent to anyone above puberty and doesn’t have a poster of their favourite band on their bedroom wall, that record sales are never indicative of talent.
When a so-called musician/singer (whatever you term him) is remembered for 'turning music videos into an art-form' and his dance-routine - we need to take a big step back & ask ourselves 'what about the music'?".

All this unjustified adulation of MJ, merely goes to prove Frank Zappa’s immortal quote:

Most people wouldn't know music, if it came-up and bit-them on the ass”.

Sure it was sad to see Jackson drop-dead prematurely, but musically he was never on the same scale as immortals like Zappa and Lennon.

David Bowie is another, who towers above Michael Jackson.

I’ll leave you with some more Zappa quotes which seem to be purpose-built for this article.

“I don't give a fuck if they remember me at all”.

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe”.

“Rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, in order to provide articles for people who can't read”.

“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out”.

“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE”

“There is no hell. There is only France ”

Friday, June 26, 2009

Gay Exorcisms

Sometimes words fail me, and you secretly hope you are watching some sort of elaborate hoax.

But then reality dawns on you, and you are confronted with the brutal, unpalatable facts.

There really are backward individuals that believe that homosexuality is the result of demonic possession.

It’s not just the share absurdity of the concept of supernatural-beings like demons that is of concern, it’s the fact individuals are permitted to practice psychological torment with impunity, under the guise of religion.

Arrogant and bigoted Christians see it as their ordained duty, to ‘cleanse’ people of the evil they are taught, is homosexuality.

I want you to think about this.

What are the chances anyone can ‘re-orientate’ (for want of a better term) another individual who is a homosexual into a heterosexual?

I’ll tell ya, what chance there are of this happening.

It’s exactly the same as a heterosexual person becoming homosexual.

Any heterosexuals reading this, want to give me the chances of someone turning-you into a homosexual?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Why does the Christian God hate Children?

Why does the God of The Bible hate children, to the point he is willing to kill them mercilessly on a mass-scale?

We are talking about the wholesale slaughter of day-old babies up-wards, and not just when he drowned everyone, except for a drunked and his family.

The LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon.... And there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead. [Exodus 12:29]

This sort of callous murder should be abhorrent to most balanced humans, who care for the sanctity of human life and the most vulnerable in society.

Then, there is the physical abuse God partakes-in, with a certain amount of sadistic pleasure, stage-planning bizarre and horrific deaths and assaults on children.

And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.[ 2 Kings 2:23-24]

The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. [Proverbs 30:17]

Sick-stuff, but it gets worse and more depraved, being ‘The Good Book’.

This Hannibal Lecter of the Heavens wants parents to engage in cannibalism of their children, as some sort of ritualistic appeasement to his glory.

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. [Leviticus 26:29]

And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. – [Deuteronomy 28:53]

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. [Jeremiah 19:9]

If you are not up to dismembering & consuming your own flesh & blood, then at least have the courtesy on Gods behalf, to take a rod like object, such as a baseball bat and beat a child within an inch of their lives, so his rival the nasty devil, will pop-out.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell [Proverbs 23:14]

And when will there be enough ritualistic and arbitrary slaughter & physical abuse of children for the God of The Bible to be satisfied?

He’s very specific on that question.

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones [Psalm 137:9]

So he can never personally be lumbered with the tag of favouritsm when it came to indiscriminate brutality of the young on earth.

God even set-up his only son to die!

And if that wasn't enough suffering for the youngest of his creations to endure.

He kindly left mankind with the legacy of starvation, disease etc. so his murderous spree could continue unabated.

The God of the Bible is undoubtedly a Child Murderer on a scale and veracity that is abhorrent to anyone with an once of moral fibre.

Strangely Christians seem to love him?

The strange case of the naturist Governor from South Carolina and his Argy Tramp

Mark Sanford is the holy-rolling Governor of South Caroline, and a few days ago, he went walkabout without telling anyone close to him, or at least that was the original story.

For those of you unfamiliar with U.S Politics, Clement Mark Sanford is a man who has campaigned on ‘values’ and championed the cause of state-funding of religious education.

A bible-bashing George Bush clone, who looks to the same constituency to remain in power.

The U.S media have been full of the story of the missing Governor.

His dutiful wife (pictured above with her hubby)said she had no idea where he was, even though his disappearance coincided with Father’s Day.

Even his Lieutenant Governor claimed had no idea, and didn’t even know if he was Acting Governor or not!

It was first rumoured Sanford was on some sort of solo tramp in the Appalachians Trail.

This rumour also sparked another, more amusing line of speculation – that he was up in the hills naked, as one of the days he was off in the bush just happened to be ‘National Hike Naked Day’.

But all of this speculation, rumour begetting rumour, turns-out to be a load of crap.

Governor Sanford, was actually down in Argentina bonking some tart.

All of this came out at in a Press Conference, that bordered on the comical as the philandering Sanford rambled on about the laws of God. He said, “the laws of God are not oppressive rules”, but “are always put into place for our own protection”. He also said “that the laws of God were absolutes and that he had been attending Christian bible studies”.

For the benefit of the non-theists not into this laws of God , what Sandford is telling the world is fairly simple:

1.)His wife is frigid and didn’t put out enough

2.)The power of a standing-prick trumps Gods cards every-time.

You, can’t make-up crap like this!