Tuesday, March 31, 2009

God was a Naturist

Remember how we are sold the story that Adam and Eve were created intrinsically ‘good’ by the God chap.

They lead a pristine life ‘naked as jay-birds’ until they ate that dreaded fruit.

It was only after they ate the fruit, thanks to the convincing spiel from a talking snake, that they realised it was in-fact actually ‘bad’ to go about starkers, and started donning fig-leaves.

It was the wearing of the fig-leaves that alerts the God chap, something is up with his pet creations.

Now the contradiction is obvious here.

Being naked was part of Adam & Eve’s sinless pre-apple days.

Being clothed is a part of Adam & Eves life as sinners.

So there are only two logical ways, one can look at this conundrum …..

1.) Being naked is what God wants of his highest creations.

2.) There was sin before, Adam and Eve ate the apple, destroying a basic tenant of Christianity.

So which one is it?

Monday, March 30, 2009

It’s time for Atheist Only Airline.

On the 6th August 2005, a twin-engined Tuninter ATR-72 turboprop aeroplane was flying from the Italian city of Bari to the Tunisia when it ran out of fuel and came down in the sea some 13km off the northern coast of Sicily.

It was later discovered the accident was caused by a faulty fuel-gauge.

Out of the total of 35 passengers and five crew on board, 21 survived. Many had to swim for their lives, while others clung on to floating pieces of the fuselage (above).

Included amongst the survivors was the Tunisian pilot Chafik Garbi, who was found guilty last-week on 14 counts manslaughter, by an Italian Court.

He was jailed for 10 years.

Instead of taking the necessary emergency procedures to save the aircraft, including the decision to land at sea when two airstrips were available, Garbi opted to pray & little else.

The last five minutes of the cockpit voice recorder audio were littered with religiously oriented interjections such as "Allah save us!", as air-traffic-controllers futilely tried to stop the panicked pilot ditching at sea.

Evidently Allah heard his prayers, but not those of the 14 who drowned.

Open-Letter to celebrity-atheist Richard Branson.

Dear Sir,

Have you ever thought of an atheist only airline?

With the danger these religious nut-cases pose, plus the related security costs - surely this is an idea, that has come of age?

I look forward to your approval, and ticket for the inaugural flight, along with a dishy hostess thrown-in for good measure.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ray Comforts lost masterpiece ‘Bugged by Jehovah’s Witnesses?’

Looking at the cover of this booklet, and considering Ray himself is amongst the worlds most overt and passionate prophesiers, the subject matter here seems to be a little bit ‘rich’ – the proverbial 'pot calling the kettle black'.

But the initial assumptions one draws from the cover-art, are well wide of the mark.

These 16 pages, penned purportedly in 1981, are all about Ray slamming The Jehovah Witness Church (or sect as he frames it) and following “The True Church”.

I am not going to bore you with the theological claims he uses to preserve what he calls “the deity of Christ” nor regurgitate the endless bible passages he uses to expand on his position – suffice to say, Ray has 'issues' with The Jehovah Witnesses interpretation of the same book.

It’s highly doubtful a single J.W was deterred by his act of interdenominational ‘brotherhood’.

The Christchurch Library, issues this booklet under the headings (1.) Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society (2.) Controversial Literature.

They got it right, on one score.

This is one booklet, I’m sure Ray is embarrassed to say is mine.

By the way - I’m still confused, how about you?

Footnote: I have another project I’m working-on so this will be the last blog on Ray Comfort for a few weeks, but it won’t be the last. There a few more juicy titles of his, that deserve one more airing.

Ray Comfort takes us into ‘The Pit of Hell’.

‘The Pit of Hell’ is yet another of Ray Comforts fledgling New Zealand publications, which by my count there were 26 there-of, but this is probably on the short side, and there’s bound to be more floating around some where (some publications were essentially the same contents re-hashed)

This 32 page booklet, produced by Living Waters Publications, is listed by The Christchurch Library as coming-out in 1983, but this date is contestable, given many of these works came minus the date of publication we normally expect. 1983 is therefore ‘best guess’.

Before continuing to my acerbic review of it’s contents, for readers who have arrived at this site without having read my previous reviews on some of Rays earlier material and his time in Christchurch, it would pay to read them first. This way my summation on ‘The Pit of Hell’ will make more sense.

As I intimated above, a lot of these works go over the same content matter, and I can’t be bother repeating it.

I would like also to pay tribute to Ray Comforts charity work in the field of Drug Rehabilitation, during his days here in Christchurch. Clearly Ray and I are polls apart when it comes to the subject of God, evolution etc etc, but credit where credit is due, his charity work is worthy of mention.

Nor do I believe Ray has a malicious bone in his body – nowadays at least.

Ray has been blinded by his faith and I’m sure if he still reads his earlier stuff, he too would cringe & giggle.

It’s impossible to avoid the amateurish naivety of ‘The Pit of Hell’ and the ilk.

The ‘cuddly’ Ray, Americans are confronted with on their television screens is not the same one I remember from his days in The Christchurch Square, and my contention is best evidenced in his earlier writings, which I’m publishing for biographical posterity.

So this is not an exercise in character assassination, more one of historic record.

I look this, like one would look lost recording from a rock star’s first garage band resurfacing.

So on to ‘The Pit of Hell’ (some sort of heat repellent clothing is recommended).

Prospective readers are confronted with the tabloid-like headlines, in big letters:

‘Unbelievable Satanic Deception Flooding the Earth!

‘Don’t Ignore this Booklet’.

The dark charcoal cover (regrettably hard to copy decently) also has the following enticing bullet-points, to entice readers inside:

- The Occult
- Demonic Rock Music
- Blood Drinking Rites
- The Spirit of Murder and Punk Rock

So what are the contents of a booklet with such an intriguing cover?

A few pages-in, Ray rapidly moves the reader back to that stalwart of his – possession.

It’s back to Jane we read about in ‘Killer on the Loose’ and her trinket necklace, which he now describes in one line as “made of silver” and then in the next as “resembling either Tinkerbell or Peter Pan” and to confuse us more “probably a goddess of fertility or something similar” – which one of these three options is left to your own imagination (having an vivid imagination is something I recommended with any of these writings)

Ray expands on Jane’s exorcism proceedings, his crew is now down from the four he told us about in the first book to two, and he’s introduced a new prop – a hammer!

Here’s what he has to say “Whatever it was, it had a real hold on that young girl”. “I ripped it (being the necklace) from her hand and took it to the other side of my office and hit it with a hammer”

So you can stay with me, we were told earlier about the spirit of Miranda Smith the wife of Joseph Smith founder of The LDS Church possessing the teenage girl Jane via the portal of the necklace in question, Rays hitting with a hammer whilst his team hold her down.
”I had my back to her, and yet every time I hit the necklace demons in her screamed”. “It was like something out of a horror movie”.

After that vivid description, and a small diversion to another of his pet-hates ouiji boards, he cuts to one of the main areas of occult activity.

We get to the chapter on “Good O’ Rock’ .

Yes, every bad thing you read about with rock music is true and more.

We are told Alice Cooper is the son of a Baptist preacher who allowed a spirit to inhabit his body in exchange for fame and fortune. Iron Maiden have a song ‘The Number of The Beast’ pointing they are in collusion with the devil. Ozzie Osborne gets a notable mention for chewing the head of bats and doves. Jimmy Page is into black magic ceremonies and if you play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ backwards you’ll hear the phrase “here’s to my sweat Satan”.

After dealing to heavy metal, he attacks punk music and sets his sights on The Dead Kennedys and decries seeing KISS perform on a children’s television programme (horror of horrors) He is sure on a roll and as the chapter on the evils of rock music ends Ray wants us to know “One of Satan’s major methods of snaring the generation has been the international method of Rock Music”.

Parents are warned “To encourage children into Rock Music is to place them into the white hot arms of Molech and the beat and power behind the music will drown out the cries of your child as occultic powers consume him and drag him into the fires of hell!”.

Ya have to laugh!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ray Comfort claims to find a Cure for Cancer.

“You should never consult a doctor or go to a hospital for treatment, because you would be interfering with the work of God in your life”.

There are two words that make my blood boil.

False Hope.

Combine them with ‘cancer’ and I turn downright nasty.

Any person who offers false-hope to those suffering the ravages of cancer, irrespective of their motivations, is in my books a heartless individual, worthy only of contempt & public admonishment.

And it’s admonishment I’m about to dish-out, in bucket loads, to one Ray Comfort Jr, author of this 111 page sanguine publication, entitled ‘More Than Just Comfort’.

First take another look at the cover to this book, above.

Focus one second on ‘AN ANSWER TO CANCER’.

Now, place yourself in the shoes of someone who is afflicted by this disease.

Then turn-over the book, look at the back-cover, like a prospective and anxious purchaser.

‘Cancer: The Modern Day Leprosy’.

Wow, we can now render cancer, to the historic medical annals of leprosy, right?

Of cause not, it’s all a load of crap, mere figments of Rays imagination.

Cancer is not contagious like some forms of Leprosy (or Hansen’s disease) for starters.

So to make such a nescient comparison, indicates he was never qualified in the first place, to write a book of this nature.

But when has that stopped him, eh?

The diatribe contained on its pages, speaks for itself.

There is no need for me to embellish or castigate Ray’s words – they do a good enough job incriminating themselves, without my help.

It’s time for you to read Ray Comforts ‘Answer to Cancer’ in the abridged form (basically everything minus the all too numerous and erroneous bible references) and make your own conclusions.

“There is absolutely no pointing being healed in our bodies, then dying in our sins and spending an eternity in hell. It would be better to die of cancer and go to heaven because of that cancer, then to live in perfect health and end up in hell”

“God slowly begins to wash the brain, removing all the filth and wrong attitudes it picked-up in the pre-Christian life. He begins healing wrong emotions, the scars of envy, jealousy, hate, bitterness etc, which can cause many common diseases”

“One of the first reactions to the news of cancer is fear. Through the healing of the soul God will teach the principals of faith. One way to rid your garden of the weeds is to cram them out with vegetables. In the same way God can cause you to rid yourself of fear by cultivating its opposite – faith in him”.

“The Bible tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death. Our words can bring either life or death”.

“Pain can be intensified by negative thought, which always destroys peace of mind. Often we have prayed for people who are in pain after being told they only have a short time to live, and the pain has gone”.

“Humanly speaking fear accompanies cancer, but through faith we can look at the situation supernaturally”.

“Satan has no right to afflict us, and when he does we can, by God’s grace, effectively resist him”.

“Therefore you should never take medicine to relieve pain. You should never consult a doctor or go to a hospital for treatment, because you would be interfering with the work of God in your life. If Cancer is the chastening tool of God, then doctors who are fighting cancer are fighting against the work of God. If a preacher or a Christian believes the sickness is a means of chastening, then he should never pray for relief from the sickness, but rather pray that the cancer will continue to grow until the chastening is completed”.

“If doctors were asked to diagnose that woman’s case, not one spine specialist in the world would say “Satan has bound her”. Doctors would call it arthritis of the spine, or vertebrae out of place, or some other medical term, and they would be right as far as medical terms are concerned. But if you get to the real source of the trouble you will discover that source is Satan”.

At this point in the book, whole chapter and a half is dedicated to describing the exorcism of Dave and Jane already covered above, but embellished by the startling revelation Jane’s toy, Kermit the Frog (a.k.a. Hermit the demon) had a cross driven through his heart.

In the Chapter Six, the final one, we hear about Kathy Howell from Auckland, who develops leukaemia and undergoes medical treatment as well as a heavy dose of prayer initially via her mother. Although the story includes specific details about her conventional medical care that lead to her remission, Ray points this to be an example of her belief in God and his ability to cure sickness the recovery.Even Kathy heaps praise on medical intervention first before the supernatural.

“In closing I want to mention the wonderful dedication and commitment of all the doctors and nurses I met, and the faithfulness and love of all the wonderful Christian people who prayed for me. Prayer I believe, is the greatest weapon we have against cancer. But most of all I want to thank Jesus”.

The contents of the late 70’s publication are beyond reproach.

Frankly ‘More Than Just Comfort’ is offensive in the extreme, beyond the bounds of simple ignorance & Ray Comfort, owes an apology to everyone who has been touched by cancer.

Starting first, with me.

Writers Note: These expose on Ray Comfort come from his earlier works – the ones which remain all but anonymous, occupying some dusty 2nd hand bookshop shelf in Christchurch, at best. Many of these books/booklets were limited runs, and never big sellers in their day & thus largely disappeared over the ensuing 30 years. They display a naivety, that I’m sure Ray himself would now cringe at. I am not into character assassination, he did some splendid work in the field of drug rehabilitation.It is however important to record ‘where he was at’ during his time in New Zealand. Remember, people change. We’ve all done things in past we’d rather forget, but generally we don’t make our living telling other people how to live. Ray feels a zeal to run-down atheists that knows no peer, so this alone makes him ‘fair-game’.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

'Killer on the Loose!' 1980 Booklet by Ray Comfort

So what’s inside this long-lost gem by Ray Comfort penned in Christchurch in 1980?

I know you are dying to know.

‘Killer on the Loose’, all 20 odd pages, starts by Ray warning Kiwi’s, Satan is on the loose, and to avoid dabbling in the occult and venturing into the spiritual realm. Namely, horoscopes, palmistry, hypnotism etc.

The following passages from the bible [ 2 Cor 4:4, Job 2:7 ] allow Ray to conclude Satan is “the inflictor of sickness”. So if you get a cold or the flu, it’s not a physical affliction, it’s Beelzebub at work.

Ray then tells us about performing an exorcism on a man called Dave, who was possessed by a homosexual spirit called ‘Kora’. (bears a striking resemblance to a anglicised & abbreviated form of the word Koran, if you ask me)

Next from its pages we get in-depth coverage of other of these exorcisms. ‘Hate’ was the name of one demon he exorcised from a teenaged girl called Jane (sadly, Hates parents weren’t able to grab hold of a ‘Name your Baby Devil’ book and come-up with something more creative) We are told Jane had begun speaking to an invisible friend from the age of seven. No not God, his adversary.

Fortunately Ray was able to scare away this invisible friend called ‘Hate’ from Jane with a few well placed scripture passages, but not enough it appears to dissuade the other twelve demons inside her. According to Ray the first of the 12, or head demon, was none other than Joseph Smith. Yep, the spirit of Joseph Smith, founder of The Church of the Later Day Saints, was living inside a Christchurch teenager in the late-seventies!!

There’s an easy explanation for all of this according to Ray - Jane was baptised a Mormon.

Like a scene of the movie Exorcist Jane is held down screaming and groaning by Ray and his team of four helpers, all good Christians we are reassuringly told, assist as best they can.

He names the demons ‘Marinda’ (this name will become more significant later on, so I won’t spoil the surprise at this stage) and Saol – then Lucifer himself (sadly playing one night only, get your tickets early or you’ll miss-out)

Now if by now you are beginning to smile in mirth at this, I would recommend grabbing a hanky right now, to stop the tears of laughter – Rays written description of Jane’s exorcism gets a lot weirder and funnier, if you ask me.

Ray begins questioning the semi-conscious Jane about her childhood and low-and-behold, her possession all makes sense, at least in his mind.

Jane was adopted as a baby and had a father who didn’t love her, and her closest possessions as a child were a stuffed toy of Kermit the Frog and a fairy necklace. Well it appears Kermit was not the cuddly toy the shop promised and nothing like his television character, more like ‘Chucky’ from the horror film.

Kermit was really ‘Hermit’ a demon! (so this at least puts to rest the belief it’s just Ernie from Sesame Street who is evil)

If that’s not scary enough, that fairy necklace that Jane said “gave her a feeling of power over people” turns-out to be an open invite to the demon Marinda to occupy her body.

Although Ray doesn’t come straight out and say it like he does with the demon formally known as Joseph Smith, Marinda was the actually name of one of Smiths wives.

So to get your head around this: there’s the spirits of Mr & Mrs Smith (the founders of the Mormon Church), a lesser-known demon called Saol, seven other nameless demons, and Lucifer himself – all kicking round inside this 19 year old Kiwi girl, on Ray Comforts office floor.

Fret not, we learn thanks to Ray and the power of the gospel Jane was ‘saved’ and the demons expunged.

Later we are told that Jane visits Ray to tell him “Jesus Christ visited me in the flesh”, not that Ray could pick-up on the obvious attention seeking, psychosomatic hallmarks, that surrounded the lass’s latest claim of a visitation.

The booklet ends as it starts by further warning us we shouldn’t open the door to oppressing spirits, by avoiding undertaking a range of dangerous practices.

So beware, you are in spiritual danger if you have (a.) sought to locate missing objects or persons by consulting someone who has psychic powers (b.) had your fortune told by use of cards, tea leaves, palm reading (c.) read or possessed occult or spiritual literature (d.) had your handwriting analysed (e.) practiced yoga etc.

You've been warned.

Joseph and Marinda are after a good home.

‘Evangelical Frustration’ The Early Days of Ray Comfort in Christchurch

1972: April 25, Ray Comfort was converted to Jesus Christ.

1974: He began open air preaching and continued to do so, almost daily, for the next 12 years.
During that time he started a free evangelistic newspaper called ‘Living Waters,’ and to write and publish gospel tracts.

1977: Ray published a book called, My Friends are Dying (now called, Out of the Comfort Zone). It received national publicity, and this opened an itinerant ministry.

1980: He began to suffer from a disease he called “evangelical frustration.” The symptoms were that few listened to the gospel, and few genuinely came to Christ. He also found statistics that showed that up to 90% of those making decisions fell away from the Church.

1982: Ray discovered “Hell’s Best Kept Secret” (then called “Evangelical Frustration”)—an eye-opening teaching about an almost forgotten biblical principle to reach the lost—one that was not only rooted in Scripture, but that was the essence of the gospel proclamation of men like John Wesley, Charles Spurgeon and George Whitefield.

1989: He and his family were invited to leave their native home of New Zealand and to relocate in the United States, particularly to bring their ministry to the American Church.

What you see above is the official autobiographical ‘time-line’ of Ray Comforts ‘coming to America’.

It tracks the beginnings of his notoriety, from street preacher in Christchurch, to house-hold name, not only in his new home - but around the globe.

Ray, now head of a U.S based the multi-million dollar corporation ‘Living Waters’ , assisted by his Kiwi-born son Daniel, constantly speaks of these ‘humble beginnings’.

Comfort (TV3 ‘Sixty Minutes Interview 2nd March 2009) claims to take little in terms of income from his own Corporation, lording over the disciples like in a benevolent spiritual guide, tending to chickens he keeps in his suburban back-yard for sustenance.

‘Gods Beverly Hillbilly’.

He bikes to work and outwardly, has none of the normal material trappings of conventional evangelists of his ilk.

But ‘making a living’ selling God has been important to Ray for 30 years, from the early days operating his Living Waters Publications out of his house in Christchurch, through to today’s corporate offices in California.

In 1977, Comfort described himself to one Christchurch newspaper as a Businessman, and now the title he uses is Chief Executive Officer.

The pond just got bigger, and the title to go with it, as well.

When you visit his web site you are greeted by the rather cool animation of a bank-vault opening and the accompanying term: ‘Money Tracts’.

Folks are encouraged to train for ‘The Way of the Master’ (I’m guessing Ray dreamed that one-up after retrieving memory-bites from the 70’s western kung-fu/western classic ‘Kung Fu’ ) going-up in steps.

All I might add, at a nominal cost.

Training is the backbone to Ray’s re-launched ministry, but evidently New Zealand is no longer on his radar.

Since leaving New Zealand, the first place he started Living Springs Publications, his founding mission has been inactive.

Ray is not listed in the New Zealand Companies office, as having any business interests in ‘home territory’.

So back to those early days, in Christchurch.

In 1978 I was employed by a Government Department located in Christchurch’s central ‘Cathedral Square’. The job was one in which you ‘lost the will to live’, but did come with some fringe benefits – namely 4 out of 5 employees were female (fond memories, indeed)

The Square in Christchurch was my normal lunch-time hang-out point and listening to the speakers broke the monotony of daily existence at my desk in the 3rd floor.

Given the opportunity to ‘spread the good word’ in an open-forum such as Christchurch’s Square, attracted, as it tends to, Christian evangelists of all persuasions.

There was Renee Stanton (I think she passed away last year?) who was dubbed ‘The Bible Lady’. Even on the top of chair she spoke from, ‘The Bible Lady’ was five foot nothing, and when things got rough she employed a unique defense mechanism – she’d start playing her violin, badly. For those of you that know ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy’- think Vogon poetry.

The arch-nonconformist Ian Brackenbury Channel (1932-) arrived from Australia in 1973. At one point he was a lecturer in Sociology & Psychology as well as being an amateur theologian. Brackenbury-Channel subsequently became a star attraction in Cathedral Square, calling himself ‘The Wizard’ after winning a battle with the City Council over the right to speak in public, and numerous complaints by christians and other targets of his aserdic tongue & black humour. Femininism was one of his many pet hates, and wo-be-tide any woman from the crowd who challenged his view.

Barry Smith (1933-2002) , was a New Zealand eschatologist and born-again preacher, who was another regular visitor to Christchurch’s Square. Smith was the stereotypical Christian Conspiracy theorist, plugging away at his belief One World Government and Armageddon. An intriguing combination for a couple of lunchtimes. It’s fair to say yelling at the top of his voice about an impending nuclear holocaust whilst clutching an over-sized bible, proved not to be a crowd pleaser. Even his fellow prophesiers looked upon him as a ‘loony-tune’. At one point Smith blamed The Wizard for an infestation of insects and saw him as the devil incarnate. On a visit to Wales, Smith made ‘friends and influenced people’ by telling the locals their state flag was the work of the devil.

There was also a preacher called ‘Wally’ who’s name befitted him, who use to keep company with Comforts crew, and wasn’t let’s say ‘the brightest tack in the box’ [readers are welcome to expand on this Wally bloke by contacting me, this was after-all 30 years ago and my memory is fading along with my hairline]

Into the mix, we now need to add one Ray Comfort.

Ray was a proverbial ‘fire and brimstone’ character, who was and still is, a guy who could take the verbal blows.

This ability to get up off the canvas, was a trait that has served him well on his travels. The Christchurch Square was never an easy place to speak. Kiwi’s are renowned for not suffering fools lightly, and avoiding social eloquences of the more refined and polite cultures, thus many a time, a speaker would be pelted with the remains of someone’s lunch (I myself plead guilty of this act on one occasion, but Ray was not the target, something that haunts me to this day)
Ribald abuse was fairly standard fodder.

Respect was earned, not a given right.

On one occasion, a troubled spectator appeared, can of petrol in hand, and threatening to set himself and Ray alight as well. Police intervention saved all parties from harm.

Ray, lived permanently in the shadow of The Wizard.
As a soap-box orator The Wizard, was second to none, and tourists loved Christchurch’s quirky eccentric, dressed in his distinctive pointy black hat and cape.

Photo of The 'Wizard and The Bible Lady in Christchurch Cathedral Square 1977.

The well read Wizard, was more than a foil for evangelist crew of Ray Comfort, Renee Stanton and Barry Smith’s of the time.

The Wizard was not only on an intellectual level above his contemporaries, he was bloody funny to listen to, an entertainer with no peer.

At one stage The Wizard hosted a ‘talk-back’ show on Radio Avon, and I can remember him arguing with callers, on the proposition that light-bulbs sucked the light from the room when you switched them on.

Christchurch’s public, loved the humour-ridden intellectual oratory of The Wizard and tolerated the Ray Comfort’s, he shared The Square with.

Living Water Publications began producing leaflets, for its prolific, sole author in the mid 70’s and continued till he departed our shores for the bright-lights.

Photocopied handbills, progressed into 20 page to leaflets, cassette-tapes and then finally fully-fledged books. Living Waters Publications went from a garage/room in Ray’s house to occupying a shop in New Brighton Mall. The last location for his fledgling publication company, was ironically in The Square itself - 'The Dome' of The Regents Movie Cinema.

Ray began selling the leaflets and books, rather than handing them-out to lunchtime gatherers.
He also found another gap in the local market, manufacturing display packs in 1977, so parents, teachers and employers could visually identify drugs. These were sold from a Christian bookshop in High Street.

These early crude publications from his Christchurch day’s, bear the same hallmarks of future material, but in the age before political correctness, Ray was able to more freely vent his spleen on a number of his pet hates, as well as using the publishing vehicle to assist his notable charity work, in the field of drug rehabilitation.

His cure for drug dependency - a good liberal dose of Christianity - did naturally attract its detractors from those involved in the professional health sector.

‘My Friends are Dying!’ (re-branded ‘Out of The Comfort Zone’ for an American readership) came-out in 1977, is the work he is best known for in New Zealand, particularly outside Christchurch, in the pages of which continues the theme that Christianity was a cure for addiction.

In my follow-up articles we’ll look at inside these early, lesser known publications from Ray Comfort.

These early pieces of journalism from his time here in New Zealand are very interesting, to say the least.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

“Hello is that you God?”

Let’s say for purposes of this article , we all agree there are supernatural beings who communicate with humans, putting aside for one second the other daily tasks they undertake, like curing cancer, plagues of locusts etc.

So let’s focus on the ability of humans and supernatural being(s) to communicate with one another.

The human part of the communication process is, more often or not, called a prayer.

So where do these spoken or mental prayers go to?

What happens if Satan intercepts a message to Jehovah and replies maliciously instead?

How would we know if all the Muslim prayers are ending-up with Thor, who simply ‘hangs-up’ every-time one appears, sick & tied of all those friggin’ wrong numbers?

So how can believers be 100% sure their prayers make it through to the intended recipient?

Are there billions of ‘homeless prayers’ aimlessly wandering the telepathic dimension?

Let’s face it every White Pages is full of Mr & Mrs God’s.

And then, we need to also look at how we can be sure, supernatural Gods ‘speak’ back.

If they can, is there a chance you can get sent the wrong message?

Dare I suggest, unspoken mental messages are often lost on the way back to the recipient’s magical ‘cranial receiving station’?

When prayers are not answered - it is therefore simply a communications issue, rather than a lack of empathy?

If we forget to say “please” or adulate too little on how great ones chosen God is, will this impinge on the success one has?

Does one simply keep using the same lame ‘pick-up’ line or try a different tact, like swearing or demanding in a loud voice?

Should someone ailing in hospital and failing to get any success with their chosen entity metaphorically, hang-up the phone and try calling another God?

The equivalent of having ‘a God on the side’ or getting a new cell-phone company.

Can someone please explain this messy conundrum?

I find myself reaching for the Panadol in my desk, even trying to contemplate it.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


We are as excited to present today’s tour destination as yet another bastion of the righteous, a city which is the home to four million, and thanks to the power of the gospel , over 90 per cent of the population is a follower of Jesus Christ.

Brothers & sisters, join us our visit to Johannesburg, the largest City in South Africa.

The secular media course, paints a very dim picture of life in Johannesburg, pointing-out that on a daily basis there are over 50 murders, 700 assaults, 400 aggravated robberies, and 150 rapes.

Then there’s the undue & unwarranted reporting of the highest rate of published child rape in the world.

This of course is superficial reporting, and ignores that South Africa as a whole, is the most Christian nation on the continent.

Yes, South Africa is a true manifestation of the power of Jesus Christ to change lives for the better.

As you wander the quaint squatter camps, you’ll gain first hand experience the power Jesus Christ has in the lives of the native Africans.

Thanks to our previous missionary work , preventing the distribution of condoms and supporting a ban on sexual education, 1 in 8 South Africans, will be joining their creator sooner rather than later, due to AIDS.

This 7 Day Tour includes a night stroll around the quaint native area of Soweto, where we’ll get to bond with fellow Christians, and pray quite a bit.
And what tour of South Africa would not be complete without a local cultural show, including the world-famous ‘tire necklace’ fire dance?

Yes folks, all the worries about your secular life back home will fade into insignificance, once you step outside the door of your Johannesburg hotel door and in to our tour bus.

We give you our personal guarantee - your exciting tour to South Africa will be 90% Atheist Free!

Brochure available from your local church.

Monday, March 9, 2009

ABBA’s Lost Atheist Anthem

If one allows religion to spread again, and I there are certain tendencies that point to this, both in the case of Christianity and also Islam of course. In Europe & the U.S. And we have, after all, gone through hundreds of years of struggle against this, to become secular as possible, and to escape the yoke of religion. If it comes back I see it as a danger” [Excerpts from Bjorn Ulvaeus, Swedish T.V Interview ]

Perchance I ran across this interesting interview Bjorn Ulvaeus, the bearded guy, from ABBA on Swedish Television( below) who talks openly about his atheist beliefs, and religions place in modern-society.

It’s hard anyone to place ABBA in any other category, other than pop (music for your grand mum & drunken sing-a-longs), but as the clip alludes to, this un-confrontational persona, appears founded on a mainstream musical press’s reporting & record company censoring, rather than the song-writers beliefs, which did at times, manifest themselves into popular song.

Indeed the original Swedish version of ‘Thank-You for the Music’ contained the lines:

“Who needs religions?”

“We can do without”.

The English language version was in-fact doctored, so the song-writers intended theme was literally ‘lost in translation’.

Bjorn explained these confrontational lyrics from the song, in an interview with the Swedish Humanist magazine(14/07/2006)

“I thought we could do like John Lennon did in ‘Imagine’ and sneak in a statement. He writes “Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die for, no religion too." It is sung in churches and nobody objects to the wish for a "world without religion". I wrote the Swedish version of "Thank You For The Music" with Niklas Str√∂mstedt and we were both prepared for the fact that it would cause reactions. But not one single complaint has been made! Not one single letter of complaint!”

So it’s time for us to re-evaluate ABBA’s ‘Thank-You for the Music’ (the bands last major hit) as a humanist ‘wake-up call’ ballad, rather than simply, another cheesy love-song.

ABBA’s lost atheist anthem, in English speaking countries, at least.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Labour now wants a Minister of Religion!

If yesterdays Press Release is any indication, things must have hit the bottom of a political bed-rock, for The New Zealand Labour Party.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, even 3 years away from another general election Labour wants a part of those political donations, tax-exempt religious groups splurge to their ‘chosen’ politicians (pity it's now got to be declared & we can all see it)

Evidently they’ve concluded, it shouldn’t be just The National Party that get’s to share political donations from the likes The Exclusive Brethren?

They’ve asked themselves, how come The Maori Party can get funds from The Anglican Church, and not us?

Labour has finally woken-up to the fact there is ‘more than one cult in town’.

So languishing in the polls, The Labour Party has gone back to basics and looking to consolidate its core constituency: the looney left & at the same time hoping to attract a new sector of followers.

That new sector; Kiwi’s that believe in invisible sky daddies.

Yes folks, The New Zealand Labour Party, has become the mainstream western political party to propose a Minister of Interfaith.

I gather they came-up with the idea on some junket to Tehran. Those Arabs really know how to do this politics and religion thing really well. Iran is a shining example of political systems like this work.

Luamanuvao Winnie Laban has been appointed as Labour’s spokesperson on interfaith issues, the heir apparent to the mantle of Minister of Interfaith (Minister of Religion in drag, but what-ever you do, don’t mention same-sex marriages, homo's to this bunch)

This role is about linking in with the interfaith movements around the country and internationally, to build greater understanding and peace,” Winnie Laban said.

This statement alone adds credence to my ascertains, a new Government Department is about to be born. One with a large travel budget, and full of god-botherers of all colours, with snouts firmly placed in the public trough. It will have a large office next door to Women’s Affairs and time off for both prayers & periods.

In what has to be one of the most is naive and risible statements, to ever part the lips of any N.Z Politician, Winnie Laban, playing the role as a modern-day Neville Chamberlain, wants all Kiwi’s to know “If we can get the many different religions in the same room and engage in dialogue that is of great benefit to both harmonious relations here and overseas”.

This has to be a piss-take?

I mean why not announce Labour Party support for New Zealand’s manned mission to Mars, rather than the ludicrous proposition different religions will get together on any subject, apart from tax exemption status?

Didn’t anyone in The New Zealand Labour Party, do history at school other than The Russia Revolution and Castro’s Cuba?

Does ‘planes flying into buildings’, not ring a bell with any of the Labour MP’s?

After hearing Winnie Laban’s noble ambitions, I’m sure the representatives from The N.Z Catholic Church, will listen and learn from other religions, in the same ‘inclusive’ fashion they have over the past centuries. Rome will change overnight.

The head of Scientology will learn heaps from The Bahia Faith, who will in-turn, simply ignore the murder of his faith that occurs at the hands of Muslims, & when he sits next to their rep, they'll cuddle one another.

Buddhist’s at his meetings will be accept graciously, the fact The Baptists think he and his ilk, will burn in hell.

It will be one big happy family, thanks to Willie (or is ir Winnie?) and the idealists at Labour Party H.Q.

Your bill is in the mail.

PS: Being such a politically correct bunch, the good-people at The Labour Party, got The Satanists to do ‘The Interfaith Theme Song’ you see below. I rather like it, catchy lyrics.