Nothing says “I’m a loser” more than a neck tattoo

Over-all most people that get tattoos realise they cause offence to certain sectors of society. 

It is bleeding obvious to anyone with half a brain-cell tattoos are synonymous with criminal fraternities, mostly follow trends that render arguments “It’s an individual thing” baseless.   

Cutting to the chase: great leaders and inventors with coverable tattoos are few and far between.  

Most people who opt to get a tattoo are bright enough (room temperature?) to place it in a location on their body that can be hidden from public view as the situation dictates. 

Like say if you had a decent job, have to interact with customers who weren’t part of a sub culture and greater society.    

Following the thread that tattoos are symptomatic of outside trends e.g. some numbskull bass player from their fav band has one, invariably we expect to see sheeple follow what they perceive as fashionable or cool.  

So like day follows night, over just the last decade we now have people – not individuals – adorning themselves with neck tattoos as spotted on a music video, internet, mag etc.   

Until recently neck-tattoos were the defiant F.U badge of street gangs.  

Tragically we now see middle-class kids with them.  

These trend-seekers, attention deficit sufferers think they look cool or tough with their neck tattoos when to the rest of society it yells, via a large megaphone “I’m a loser.”   

Let me prove this brutal statement succinctly. 

Tell me one great person from the 7 billion on this planet that has a fucking neck tattoo?  

Taps fingers on the table await an answer he knows will never come.

 

 

TATTOOS CAUSE CANCER

More fool those who want to pump carcinogenic chemicals into their system in the name of ‘individual pursuit’ and ‘temporary fashion’.   

The inks used in tattoos contain hazardous substances such as cobalt, benzoapyrene and mercury.  

Two thirds of all tattoo inks, used chiefly in commercial paints, contain these chemicals.  

Small particles called nanoparticles from these chemicals, enter the bloodstream and accumulate in organs such as the spleen and kidneys, reducing their function.  

So tattoos now join obesity, smoking etc as modern lifestyle choices that could potentially cut an individual’s life short.     

People can make their own choices.

Pumping carcinogenic chemicals through your veins to attract fickle and fleeting attention doesn’t seem the brightest thing to do.  

 

 

The Majority of Tattoos produced in New Zealand are Unsafe!

Shit, 50 per cent of the inks supplied by established manufacturers, recently tested by N.Z Ministry of Health, were non-compliant. 

That’s an appalling record.  

That’s an appalling testament to the lack of professionalism, care taken in the N.Z Tattoo industry.   

It’s also an indictment against the recipient of tattoos. Don’t they care that their tattooist is using just printer ink, pumping unsafe levels of toxic metals into their body? Don’t they question, even consider the hygiene standards of their chosen tattooist?  

The Government introduced new standards in 2011 through the Environmental Protection Agency which placed controls on inks and set voluntary guidelines for managing and storing tattoo materials.  

Self-regulation in the N.Z Tattoo Industry is clearly not working – it’s the Wild West.  

And that Ministry of Health study only went to the corner-shop tattooist, didn’t get to the back alley practitioners. 

So it’s self-evident the majority of tattoos produced in New Zealand are unsafe.     

Relying on personal responsibility, consumers to police hygiene standards is also not working. 

And you know what? 

Frankly, I don’t give a rats arse. 

If you are stupid enough to get a septic tattoo, don’t care about the ramifications of tattoos on your employment opportunities, dismiss the long-term effects of dodgy ink, pick a provider with unhygienic practices, that can’t spell let alone draw – you deserve what you get.  

The Government can’t protect people from their own stupidity.

 

 

 

KIWI WOMAN SO FAT SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT!

When your fifty-something’ wife agrees with your proposition, during a trip to Paris “the local chicks are hot” you know you have the mark of approval. 

It’s not just that women from France look after their diets and exercise patterns in greater numbers than New Zealand women – they dress way better as well.  

What is frightening is the large numbers of obese teenage women in New Zealand.   

They don’t do themselves any favours either by covering themselves in ugly tattoos, dressing at fashion outlets, possessing a wardrobe with at least five pairs of tracksuit bottoms and donning rugby jersey’s for social occasions.        

It’s got so bad around these parts that a young local Christchurch woman, Sarah Greig, didn’t even know she was pregnant until the contractions started!  

Her partner – who was presumably still banging her for 8/9 months, saw her naked on the odd occasion – didn’t know she was up the duff either!  

Greig claims she had no obvious pregnancy symptoms, believed her contractions to be just a bad stomach ache. Leading up-to the birth she had felt more lethargic than normal tired and surprise/surprise, had developed food cravings.  

I may be a wee bit old fashioned here but some of the obvious signs one is pregnant are your period stopping and the ‘bump out front’.  

Short of dressing in a kaftan, retreating to a cave how could you disguise a pregnancy?   

The politically correct media have been all-over this story without actually mentioning the ‘elephant in the room’ (pun intended) nor bothered to include a full photo of Ms Greig.    

At just 22 Sarah Greig must have been really, really fat.       

 

 

 

Maori Tattoos are still bloody tattoos

This is a mug-shot of Erana Te Haeata Brewerton, a 60-year-old Maori who was up in Japan recently on some junket.   

Her facial tattoo saw her barred from a hot spring in Hokkaido and she went bleating to the media crying it was all too “culturally insensitive”.   

Bullshit.  

For starters the Japan Bathhouse has the right to ban who-ever it sees fit, serve the best interests of the business, particularly the ‘bread and butter’ locals.    

Secondly Ms Breweton this is Japan and not New Zealand. 

You were a visitor so why not be equally sensitive to their culture? 

The Japanese hate tattoos because of their criminal connotations.  

They lump all tattoos together, don’t have time to run it by the N.Z Embassy.  

Nor can the spas owner be expected to tell a so called ‘traditional’ tattoo from a similar one some chick got done one drunken night in Thailand. 

The hot spring made the right decision not allowing you entry. 

You need to wake up and accept that tattoos particularly facial ones are intimidating, globally associated with gangs.

Go to any maximum security prison and you’ll soon see the ‘customers’ are all tatted up.  

Many N.Z prisoners have tattoos not too similar to your own and are equally passionate about them.  

Maori criminal fraternity is all but 100% tatted-up. 

Here are some examples of modern-day ta mokos equally valid to a layman as Ms Brewerons.   

 

 

 

 

 

As a so called ‘leader’ and ‘ambassador’ for her culture the best thing Erana Te Haeata Brewerton could have done to disassociate herself from the underbelly of Maoridom was to not have got a tattoo in the first place.  

 

10 Reasons Why I Hate Tattoos

My son has a great saying about tattoos. 

He calls them “job inhibitors.”    

Me I have other reasons why I don’t like tats……. 

1.)    Who wants to wear the same thing every second of every day?  

2.)    They have criminal connotations. Take a quick look around any criminal fraternity, prison population and you’ll see the universal denominator are tattoos.

3.)    A tattoo done in a person’s physical prime fades over time and looks little more than an ink splodge on the body of anyone over fifty, outright revolting.

4.)    I keep telling my daughter “No one puts a bumper sticker on a late model Mercedes.”

5.)    You get a tattoo at 20 because it is what you are into at the time. Who at 40 is ‘into’ the same things they were into at 20? Who wants a representation of something you now have no connection with glaring out to the world and looking back at you in the mirror?

6.)    People judge you differently. Call them snobs, there is still a lot of stigma that goes with tattoos. Ignore them at your vocational peril.    

7.)    In my humble opinion they don’t look good on females. I have yet to see a woman  with a tattoo that enhances her beauty. On the other had I have seen thousands that made the wearer look out-right revolting. My sons and I hate tatted women. When we see them on TV we say “Yuk”.  This of course is our subjective appraisal. We are not alone in our opinion that tats aren’t something we see as feminine.  As yet I've never heard a single male, untatted/tatted, say something along the lines "She'd look more attractive with a tattoo on her lower back." There's a good reason for this.   

 

 

8.)    Tattoos are trendy. They should be unique to the individual but by in large they represent modern trends like say ‘todays flavour’ tribal tattoos. In short order they become little more than permanent out-dated designer apparel. After-all most tattoos come from parlour catalogues, someone else's idea.   

9.)    So many of them are plain stupid, poorly done on the spur of the moment or ill-conceived.

10.)  Few people simply have ‘the body’ for tats, too skinny, flabby etc.        

Think before you ink.

If you really must get one: at least be original. 

 

PS: Why not read my follow-up article Nothing says “I’m a loser” more than a neck tattoo? They are all the rage amongst the scientists working on the Large Hadron Collider.