Jesus was an Ugly Blackman

PS: I am getting better with my crappy Windows Movie Maker - even if I do say so myself.

Why does the Christian God hate Children?

Why does the God of The Bible hate children, to the point he is willing to kill them mercilessly on a mass-scale?

We are talking about the wholesale slaughter of day-old babies up-wards, and not just when he drowned everyone, except for a drunked and his family.

The LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon.... And there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead. [Exodus 12:29]

This sort of callous murder should be abhorrent to most balanced humans, who care for the sanctity of human life and the most vulnerable in society.

Then, there is the physical abuse God partakes-in, with a certain amount of sadistic pleasure, stage-planning bizarre and horrific deaths and assaults on children.

And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.[ 2 Kings 2:23-24]

The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. [Proverbs 30:17]

Sick-stuff, but it gets worse and more depraved, being ‘The Good Book’.

This Hannibal Lecter of the Heavens wants parents to engage in cannibalism of their children, as some sort of ritualistic appeasement to his glory.

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. [Leviticus 26:29]

And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. – [Deuteronomy 28:53]

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. [Jeremiah 19:9]

If you are not up to dismembering & consuming your own flesh & blood, then at least have the courtesy on Gods behalf, to take a rod like object, such as a baseball bat and beat a child within an inch of their lives, so his rival the nasty devil, will pop-out.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell [Proverbs 23:14]

And when will there be enough ritualistic and arbitrary slaughter & physical abuse of children for the God of The Bible to be satisfied?

He’s very specific on that question.

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones [Psalm 137:9]

So he can never personally be lumbered with the tag of favouritsm when it came to indiscriminate brutality of the young on earth.

God even set-up his only son to die!

And if that wasn't enough suffering for the youngest of his creations to endure.

He kindly left mankind with the legacy of starvation, disease etc. so his murderous spree could continue unabated.

The God of the Bible is undoubtedly a Child Murderer on a scale and veracity that is abhorrent to anyone with an once of moral fibre.

Strangely Christians seem to love him?

One of The Worlds oldest known Abortion Recipes: Straight from the pages of ‘The Bible’.

Numbers 5:12-28

12 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'If a man's wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13 by sleeping with another man, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure- 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder offering to draw attention to guilt.

16 " 'The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the LORD. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the LORD, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, "If no other man has slept with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have defiled yourself by sleeping with a man other than your husband"- 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse of the oath-"may the LORD cause your people to curse and denounce you when he causes your thigh to waste away and your abdomen to swell. [b] 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your thigh wastes away. [c] " Then the woman is to say, "Amen. So be it."

23 " 'The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. 24 He shall have the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water will enter her and cause bitter suffering. 25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the LORD and bring it to the altar. 26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. 27 If she has defiled herself and been unfaithful to her husband, then when she is made to drink the water that brings a curse, it will go into her and cause bitter suffering; her abdomen will swell and her thigh waste away, and she will become accursed among her people. 28 If, however, the woman has not defiled herself and is free from impurity, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

So there’s Gods punishment for foul-mouthed, pregnant wives who stray – death to her unborn child, and any chance of conceiving outside the matrimonial bed, gone as well. Good old “bitter water” the Biblical equivalent of the RU486, only so much better!

Strange, I always understood Christians, are against abortion? Pro-Life, even? That must have been my mistake sorry, because here we have a recipe for aborting children in The Old Testament and THE LORDS word is after-all , THE LORDS word.

PS: By the way if you are giving it a try, an ephah is the modern-day equivalent of about two litres, but to be sure I’d recommend you better run through the concoction with your neighbourhood priest, before shoving it down the throat of your ‘knocked-up’, philandering wife.

The Jelly Bean Approach to the Bible

This is obviously a rather large jar of jelly beans.

It contains literally thousands of jelly beans.

But some of them, for purposes of this summation, are salted.

Specifically it’s the red and green ones that taste disgusting, and are best avoided where possible.

So when anyone reaches into the jar, they are soon careful to exclude the greens & reds.

Now let’s just imagine each of the jelly beans in this jar is inscribed with a biblical passage.

Further, you have to wear a blind-fold every time you reach in for one.

There are of course plenty of ‘tasty’ beans to enjoy.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (I Corinthians 13:4-8,13)

Do unto others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)

A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables." (Proverbs 24:3)

Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good works." (Hebrews 10:24)

But now and again, you get to chew on one of those hideous salted beans.

Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the Lord: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death. (Exodus 35:2)

If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city. (Deuteronomy 22:23-24)

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. (Jeremiah 19:9)

Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces. (Malachi 2:3)

We then take the blind-fold off.

After a few experimental plunges, those dipping into the jar are again soon practiced at ‘cherry picking’ the contents.

Sound familiar?