The Bizarre Case of The Magic Boomerang, The Kiwi that Speaks to God, and the Paedophile Pastor.

When Todd BENTley made his trip down-under earlier this year, he also made Australia’s, Gold Coast, one of his stops.

Now remember at this juncture of Todd’s fake-healing career, he was on the bottom rung, working his way up to fame, and more importantly fortune.

The inner circle that knew he was a convicted child molester were keeping stum, and his philandering was to surface publically later.

It was in Queensland, BENTley caught up with Auckland based Pastor Rob deLuca (pictured above) who runs his own 'happy-clappy' church, the rather appropriately named ‘His Way International’.

His Way describes itself as “a friendly dynamic young church in Auckland city New Zealand led by Pastor Rob deLuca. His Way Church holds church services, home cells, encounter groups, Sunday school and prayer group meetings. His Way Church invites Auckland youth to find His Way”

What, it doesn’t say in the publicity blurb is, Pastor Rob claims to have the gift of prophecy or visions from God.

This may be because a great many Kiwi’s share the contention, that the only place you’ll find people who believe that ‘God talks to me’ are in mental institutions, specifically rooms where the walls are lined.

Tip: from here on in, where necessary, replace the word ‘delusion’ where you see/hear ‘vision’ and these messianic prophecies will begin to make some sense.

Anyway back to March, Todd and Rob, end-up at wince-inducing 'Downpour Conference' in Queensland (with a corny name you’d think the main topic would be Climate change)

Excitement builds in the crowd when self-appointed Pastor De Luca summons self-appointed Pastor BENTley on to the stage.

Here’s what happens……..



Let’s examine what God had to say again, remembering this vision came straight from ‘the big guy’ via his earthly emissary Pastor deLuca:

“I saw a human boomerang flying out of Canada and it hit the nation of England, it hit the nation of Australia, it hit the nation of New Zealand, and it came spinning around”.

“I saw Todd Bentley--your name on the boomerang, but I knew that it was the Lord showing me that it was you, and I saw it fly back around and it came and hit America”

With the f*ck is a human boomerang? The concept is imbecilic, resembling the imaginative doodlings of a seven year old. Was the fact Rob was in Australia, he came up with this Aboriginal connection? Or were the range of boomerang’s Rob gazed upon at Brisbane Duty-Free on the way in , so indelibly etched into his consciousness, that these ‘primitive wooden hunting tools’ were the first thing that sprung in to his furtive mind when the pressure went on?

“You're gonna bring something very strong to Florida”.

Fair’s, fair, in due respect to Rob and hat-tip to God, you were on the money here. Since Todd hit Lakeland, Florida there’s a strong whiff of Pentecostal bull-shit in the air and on the airwaves.

“I saw the Father hit this hammer and it hit you”

So it was God that instructed Todd to combine pro-wrestling into his stage act, wow.

“There's something brewing so big and so strong that it's going to waste the nation with God's glory, definitely, in Jesus name”

Are you sure President Bush’s press-secretary wasn’t in on this line? He’s another who claims to hear God. Mind-you the Old Testament God wasn’t too adverse ‘wasting’ things himself.

“Thank You for New Zealand. I thank You Father that people will come from all over the world and taste and see the impartation of the effects of revival that has been tasted even in the last week”

What exactly are we Kiwi’s meant to be tasting here Pastor Rob?

Magic mushrooms?

Illicit hallucinogens?

These seem to me, to be a faster and more fun way of joining-in your conversations with God.

If God is going to impart his great wisdom, perhaps he might put a rider out to Pastor Rob, what say via ‘a human didgeridoo’ this time since boomerang has been used, with a useful warning, not to let the kids play ‘bouncy bouncy on Uncle Todd’s lap.

And what is the salutary lesson to be learnt looking back at Pastor BENTley and his apologists like deLuca?

Porcelain Gods ultimately break.



Beware false prophets - take a stand!
My fortune cookie cracked up in my hand,
More advice to fill up your head
More empty words from the living dead-
Who seek to explain what can't really be said-
And how disappointed I was
To turn out after all -
Just a porcelain God -
that shatters when it falls-
Too much will kill you - too little ain't enough
You shout my name but I'll call your bluff
Most who see me - see me not for real
We fake & fawn - play games 'til dawn
But I could see what you can see
And I hate too what you hate in me -
And how disappointed I am
To find me part of no plan -
Just a porcelain God -
that shatters when it falls

I shake it off and start again
"Don't lose control" - I tell myself,
Life can take many things away -
Some people will try - and take it all
They'll pick off pieces as they watch you crawl
And how disappointed I was
To turn out after all -
Just a porcelain God –
That shatters when it falls-
That shatters when it falls.
[Paul Weller]

Pedophile Preacher claims ‘New Zealand is on God’s Radar’

This tough looking geezer is the charismatic evangelist Todd Bentley, originally from Canada, but of late resident of Florida, where he’s made a name and large fortune, in short order I might add, both for himself, and his church.

Familiar to North Americans, this tattooed version of Benny Hinn on steroids, graced New Zealand shores in February of this year, as a guest of The Fusion Church.

Seven months ago, Todd Bentley had just begun serving his ‘fake-healer apprenticeship’, and working your way up the ranks for any stage performer, means touring out- of-the-way locations & small venues, like Auckland’s Town-Hall.

Fusion, with strong links with the Elim Church, really went overboard in their public endorsement of Bentley.

“We believe Todd Bentley's New Zealand visit will be one of the most significant events in years for our nation”.

“Todd will lift us to another level in faith, revelation and the supernatural”

That’s high praise indeed (no pun intended).

Todd was able to return this mutual admiration in his own pre-tour statement, waxing “God has New Zealand on his radar”, which is refreshing endorsement for believers from one so in tune with God.

So who is the Todd Bentley of Lakeland, Florida, ‘A list’ evangelist?

To whom do Kiwi’s owe such a great deal of gratitude, bordering on 2nd coming expectancy?

Let’s look at Todd Bentley's file, the one that apparently fell behind the cabinet, at Fusion Church H.Q in Auckland:

• Bentley had done prison time for sexually molesting a 7 year old boy. What do you call adults who prey on children again? It begins with ‘p’, right?

• He was recently caught bonking one of his Church assistants (female, this time) and subsequently his wife took off with the kids.

• Todd claims he can take people to ‘a third heaven’ (don’t ask me to elaborate on this sort of crap, may be this 3rd heaven was in reference to what he get’s up-to with the assistant?)

• Keeps a running-total of the number of people he’s raised from the dead. It’s currently at 32 as best I can tell, but this tally of walking-dead seems to vary, depending on audience numbers, income demographics etc.

• Wants us to believe he has an angel that assists him with his healing. The angel is a she (well most of the time at least) called Emma. Look, get with it guys, these days Angels need names we can all relate to.



• Emma is actually a ‘hallowed tooth fairy’ in disguise. Hardened skeptics are floored as Emma makes gold magically appear in the form of fillings, of all things. Be amazed at this video, I didn’t believe my eyes,and nor will you!



• His stage act includes Jesus himself, that’s right the physical manifestation of God. Only Jesus never appeared as predicted on the night Todd told everyone he would.

• Speaking about stage acts, this dude has managed to combine elements of professional wrestling, and old time tent-show evangelism. Now that is novel, doubtless a market differentiation, measured against more traditional fake-healing. But some-what a dangerous activity to undertake one thinks,in view of the fact all of the people hiking-it on to Todd'stage, are ill, sometimes terminally (footnote; parents, don't let the kids try this at home)



I could have continued merrily listing more of Todd Bentley’s indiscretions and vacuous claims, such was the amount of juicy gossip circulating on the internet on this guy. A veritable smorgasbord that would turn the waters of tabloid press red within seconds, and all available to any God-fearing Fusion/Elim Church member who has access to the internet & further dabbled enough to know about a lesser known search-engine called ‘google’.

But I obviously I’m a great bloke, so why bother dishing-out more dirt, there’s plenty of stuff already listed above.

Enough for you to work-out what exactly he ‘lifted’ when he toured New Zealand in February. Metaphorically, the wallets of 700 suckers at $75 a head who turned-up to listen to him (oops sorry almost forgot Emma for one second) ‘them’ preach.

God may well have New Zealand on his radar, but I’d suggest there’s a number of Psychologists who have Bentley ‘bleeping’ in their own.

Let’s not beat about the bush here.

Repeat after me: “Todd Bentley IS……….nuts, loopy, maniacal, dippy, 9 bottles in the dozen, kooky, haywire, bonkers, unhinged, screwball”.

Ape F*cking Mad!

Any neutral who has viewed his antics on You Tube surely, has to agree, with this arms-length diagnosis, on his mental state of health.

What would happen if a work-mate told you “ I’ve got an angel assisting me and she/he sprinkles gold dust in our office”?

Dial the looney-bin is the likely answer!

In fact the only humans on this planet who have failed to recognise this guy ‘is not full quid’ are the very same people that have made him a millionaire.

Include in this ranks, the members of New Zealand’s Fusion and Elim Churches.

This entire group shares the same colour in their sky as Todd, which differs from the one we can see above our own heads.

The ‘relationship’ between Todd, Emma, New Zealand and God Almighty doesn’t’ end with this tour earlier this year.

Oh no, this get’s a lot weirder, peoples (yes indeed, it is possible!)

In Part Two, you’ll get to read about a Kiwi character I’ve dubbed ‘Rob the Revelator’ ,a ‘magic boomerang’, plus the said inked Pedophile Pastor.

Stay tuned.

PS; Is this characture off Sesame Street,who I think it is?