You read it right: Fat people are lazy whingers

The planet needs more people 'naming and shaming' fatties like these two personal-trainers from Australia.

Bodybuilding IS Gay!

Try typing ‘Gay Bodybuilders’ into Google and see what you get? 

2,700,000 hits when I tried it and I urge you not to do an image search unless you are ‘that way’ inclined and way more liberal than me.   

There’s a reason for this strong link between homosexuality and bodybuilding.  

Let’s be brave enough to bow to genetics, Darwinism here. 

Gay men like looking at well-toned males in the same way straight guys like looking at nice chicks – preferably unclothed ones.  

But the catch is gay men like looking at over-muscled men way more than women.   

It is gay men who form the largest audience when it comes to perving at naked muscled men.  

There is a whole sector of the porn industry built around gay bodybuilders and nothing similar for hetrosexual bodybuilders for good reason.    

Women by in large want their ideal man toned, athletic – but not looking like the Michelin Man or a walking Graf Zeppelin. Females by-in-large don't hunt-out heterosexual bodybuilder porn.     

Most men who are jealous of finely tuned muscles on other men are homosexuals. 

So if you want gay guys to check you out, wanking off with your image in their sub-consciousness - doing bodybuilding is a sure method to achieving those goals.    

For getting chicks 'in the sack' it's mostly a lemon.   

Then there’s that nagging issue of bodybuilding practitioners checking-out other guys physiques as an essential part of their chosen sport (is sweating and flexing even a sport?) a practice most strictly heterosexual men would squirm at.    

Next try convincing myself and most blokes on the street, that wearing skimpy thong on stage where you prance around like a 6 year old rhythmic gymnast is little more than disturbing homoerotic behaviour?  

Chicks also find posing a disturbing 'latent' expression, not normal behaviour too.        

The only other activity I could think of, which when you think about it has symmetries with bodybuilding given its effeminate, aesthetic nature - is ballet. 

Both require mirrors as essential training equipment, you strut around on stage and the audience know all the males on are gay.  

If you are proud of your sexuality and want to flaunt it - then good on you – I don’t care if you are gay want to show your package in budgie-smugglers to other men, just preferably do it away from me.  

 

Don't hide in the closet, instead book a week or so on Mykonos amongst friends, act on those latent tendencies.    

Everyone knows the majority of body-builders are gay or bi so no one will be surprised when you come out of the closet, least of all your sham wife/girlfriend who has seen your browser history.  

By all means lift weights, gulp down protein shakes, swoon and sweat around in false tan  & swimsuits with other men with the same tendencies.

Rejoice in the sure knowledge other men wank over you, find you hot and you like them doing it.

Deep down inside you know bodybuilding is gay and  secretly you love it that way.

Don't you ducky?

 

 

 

Bars in Boston sold drinks called 'Car Bomb' and 'Kill a Brit'

Until Sept 11^th (11/09 to 90 per of the planet) when it came to terrorism American was largely driven by political agendas and the belief it was exempt such attacks on its own soil.  

Then after Sept 11^th the country mobilised and sort to take the war directly to those it felt threatened its safety. 

Largely the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security etc care little to nothing about say the war in Chechnya and the bombing campaign undertaken against Russians, because it wasn’t Americans getting their limbs blown off.   

They do take notice about home-grown terrorists, Al Qaeda etc but only because they posed a threat to Americans and not say New Zealanders.   

And when it comes to Americans funding terror campaigns overseas – hey no problem.  

The inconsistency of the U.S’s myopic policies on terrorism is starkly portrayed in its handling of the Irish Republican Army’s terror campaign of the British Isles (approx. 1971 to 2001)   

The U.S likes to portray Great Britain as an ally when it comes to both diplomacy and military intervention yet when it came to supporting the terrorist group IRA the U.S Government did little to nothing to stop its citizens arming the group.  

Indeed after Libya, Americans of Irish decent were the largest supporters of the IRA.

Bars in Boston use to sell drinks called 'Car Bomb' and 'Kill a Brit'.

 

You can still buy an Irish Car Bomb T-Shirt (per above)  

I wonder how those bar owners, patrons feel now after recent events?  

In another irony that hasn’t escaped me in 1988 six off-duty British soldiers were killed by an IRA bomb just after they had completed a half-marathon run for charity. 

Sound similar?   

So why doesn’t the U.S pursue its own citizens that funded, continue to fund terrorism?  

Act with a modicum of consistency? 

Clearly the U.S Government has the resources but not the will.  

Americans funding terrorist organisations is ‘hunky dory’ as long as the terrorism happens somewhere overseas where Americans don’t frequent.  

To this day Americans support ‘the real’ IRA.  

 

 

Has it escaped the U.S Media that citizens from Massachusetts openly funded terrorism for decades?

Less than 100 miles north of Bridgewater is the port of Gloucester, MA. 

In 1984 the fishing vessel Marita Ann departed its shores bound for the south coast of Ireland.  

On-board the vessel was seven tons of weapons, explosives destined for The Irish Republican Army.  

The vessels ‘feeder’ was intercepted, crew captured. 

I remember its capture clearly because at the time I was living in London. 

People in the pubs wanted the crew shot and feed to the sharks.    

As background the IRA had recently bombed Harrods and Hyde Park resulting in the same senseless deaths and mutilation we saw at The Boston Marathon.    

Only the IRA’s terror campaign of England lasted decades and was not a random event by two malcontent brothers. 

I was in Harrods two days before it was bombed.

 

 

It was shortly after that the local council ripped-up all the rubbish-bins, a favourite hiding place for IRA bombs.   

I remember my tearful mum pleading with me on the phone to come home to Christchurch.   

To this day I have never told her I was in Harrods that day.    

Oh the irony therefore to see the population of Massachusetts cower under the cosh of terrorism when it was Irish Catholics from the North East of the U.S that had proudly and openly funded, supplied the IRA.  

Yes, it was a minority of radical U.S Irish Catholics that had raised funds for guns and bombs in the same way it is a minority of Muslims that undertake terrorism in the name of their cause.     

Still it’s hard for me to feel any sympathy for the Irish American population of Massachusetts given their sad legacy of funding terrorism.      

 

 

Fight Stupid Groups like Fight the Obesity Epidemic

Many of us are eating too much junk food, not getting enough exercise, and are getting fat. Obesity contributes to premature death, serious diseases and increasing health costs. The solution is to change features of the environment that lead us to eat too much of the wrong foods and reduce our physical activity opportunities.

 

There are plenty of misguided but well-meaning pressure groups in N.Z society. 

But few that can honestly be branded as plain stupid. 

Amongst the top of the heap when it comes to share stupidity comes ‘Fight the Obesity Epidemic’.  

According to their religious like mantra espoused by FOE, N.Z should:  

Stop the promotion of unhealthy food to children = cut advertising of fast foods around the time children can see them, in case 10 year olds grab the family car and drive straight to Mc Donalds salivating the entire journey.    

Having labels on food packaging, such as a traffic light system, so that shoppers can easily identify healthy and unhealthy foods = demand manufacturers of blatantly fat foods tell punters ‘This product is chocker block of crap’ when any simpleton knows this.   

Introducing tax changes and/or subsidies to make healthy food more affordable relative to less healthy food = Tax legitimate business’s for the poor choices of a section their customers. Not all consumers of ice-cream for example are obese. No one in my family could be considered fat and we all enjoy ice-cream on occasion. To propose we should pay more for a product someone else abuses is clearly wrong. It's akin to taxing non-smokers.   

FOE can’t seem to grasp the simple concept: people become fat because they eat too much crap and don’t exercise enough.   

There are no comparable campaigns to avoid certain foods in sub-Saharan Africa and for good reason I might add. 

That’s because the food they have access to in this region is often less than that one needs to function. 

In its base form food is energy.  

Consume too little or too much and it’s adverse to one’s health.  

So lets for a brief moment imagine N.Z adopting FOE’s Stalinist polices when it comes to obesity. 

KFC and even your ‘one dollar’ sweet mixtures from the local dairy would be festooned with skull and cross-bones health warnings. 

The price of a bottle of Coke would go up and the Government would replace adverts for Burger King with the vegetable and fruit range at Fresh Choice.  

Adverts for Cadbury’s chocolate would appear in the back-pages of N.Z Truth magazine beside those of an out-call massage.

The gapping hole in FOE’s campaign is that niggling factoid:   

‘Fat people already know their over-eating is going to result in health issues and premature death’  

Fat people know what a good diet is, that pizza every night is not a good thing.  

Fat people know about the benefits of exercise. 

They choose instead to ignore them and indulge in excessive often crappy food. 

Fat people can’t be fucked walking the dog around the block after work.  

Nothing FOE proposes will change the mind-set of fat folk in New Zealand.    

 

  

 

 

I LOVE GLOBAL WARMING

It’s the first week of April, winter sports starts on Saturday and it’s another balmy day in Christchurch - 21 degrees, t-shirt material.   

In fact we have had close to six months of summer here. 

I love it and I want to thank the countries like China, India and the United States of America for emitting so many CO2’s into the atmosphere.  

It’s thanks to your obstinacy Christchurch is bathed in glorious weather.  

Nor do I care a hell of a lot about the future of the planet. 

I will be long dead when and if the shit hits the fan, Christchurch becomes the Venice of the South.   

The hard reality of being a human-being is we mostly have an innate lack of empathy for others outside our immediate village.  

Ostensibly we leave our money and problems to our kids.   

In short: ‘why should this generation be the first one to care about the next?’  

Does anyone in Russia honestly care about New Zealand any more than we care about them?  

Have you run into anyone who has said “I worry about the future of my great grandkids”?   

The daily grind of earning enough money to eat, get shelter stymies empathy for most of the planets populous.  

They watch catastrophes from overseas on telly then switch over to The Simpsons muttering “I’m glad it didn’t happen here.”   

Only the rich, scientists and civil servants have the time to worry about global warming.   

India is building a coal-fired power station at rate of one a week yet New Zealand has enough coal for our own entire energy needs for at least three centuries and in a grand irony we can’t burn it here in commercial quantities but we can bulk export it so it can go up the chimney in China!    

Realistically what individual can do anything to stop weather change?   

Besides who would want to stop the weather getting better?  

Not me! 

I’m getting an old fridge and smashing it to release all that ‘goodness’ into the atmosphere.  

This songs sums up my position succinctly.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A kilo is a kilo

A kilo is a kilo and that’s what drives airline profitability, the major cost running any airline being fuel. 

 

Samoan Air has introduced a policy to charge passengers by their weight - rather than under a normal fare – thus becoming the first airline to do so globally.

 

Passengers pay a price per kilogram they weigh, and the price varies according to the length of the route.  

Let’s hope other airlines throw-off their politically correct shackles and also introduce similar rating schedules which reflect the total weight carried on the flight i.e. passenger plus bags = X amount. 

Charging by weight is fair which-ever system airlines employ.  

Charging by size/volume is the norm when it comes to air-freighting goods.   

So no-one moans when someone gets charged less on 80 kilos of freight versus 130 kilos of freight, now do they?  

When I travelled to Europe last year with ‘my mrs’, between us our packs and combined blubber would have been less than 175 kilos.   

There would have been individuals on the flights plus their carrier-on luggage that weighed more than this.  

I would have no problem paying more than couple/bags on the same route that weighed less.   

Speaking about carrier on luggage – when the fuck do people need to carry so much?  

Are they expecting a hijacking?  

What the hell is inside their bloated carry-on bags?  

Twenty sets of underwear, ball gown, a large 18th century family bible as reading material?  

Now on to larger passengers = fatties. 

Seats on planes are largely uniform – one size fits all, this is a failing.  

We all know the global obesity problem exists so plonking a 150 kilogram person into a seat made for 90 kilos is a recipe for an unpleasant trip for the individual and his/her neighbours.  

That’s why once you get over a certain girth passengers should be made to buy two seats. 

A trip to Europe from New Zealand would go up by NZD 2,700 a great incentive for anyone to purchase a good pair of walking shoes six months in advance of their flights and improve their personal health at the same time.    

If that doesn’t sound fair for the 150 kilo person - is it fair for the poor people either side of them who have to endure their ‘spill-over’?  

Would the 150 kilo person want to sit next door to someone who also weighs similar?  

Placing all fat people together on flights irrespective of their travel partners would be one way to emphasis the way they inconvenience other passengers.   

Create a true cattle class.    

I live to see the day when a 160 kilo guy looks to his middle seat on a 12 hour flight to see on either side there’s a 140 kilo girl in the ailse seat and a 190 kg guy wedged into the window.   

Congratulations to Samoan Air.   

Other airlines take note.

 

PS: I’m away for two weeks shortly. Comments/Abuse cleared on my return

 

 

Letter to The Editor

        N.Z Dominion Post (01st April)

  Nancy C Hill (Letters March 21) says a Catholic lay woman is a facilitator for priests' retreats.

   I thought the altar-boys already had that function covered?

                                                Geoff Wood, Papakowhai