There is of course life after death – just not for the dead people.

“Boo!”

Scared ya!

Readers of this mornings ‘Press’ were greeted with the headlines ‘Christchurch – it’s a spooky town’ and a new re-hashed self proclaimed group of ‘paranormal investigators’ (photo above)

Their web site is http://www.ghosthunters.co.nz/ , which upon examination gives its mailing address as a post office box in Motueka (a town more renowned for its illicit drug trade rather than being a hotbed of living-dead)

This isn’t the first time our local newspaper has pandered to this motley-crew, comprised largely of what appears to be the over-imaginative, dateless and desperate.

Still everyone knows when creeping shadows, unidentifiable sounds combine with a journalist after a sensationalist story – it’s gotta be a ghost!

This is their head ghost-hunter, Anton Heyrick, pictured at the former Addington Prison, just a couple of months back.

Now one would suppose The Press may well have had the fortitude to ask Anton exactly what they had found in terms of evidence in their earlier search for apparitions at the Addington site, before their four-man team charged around other supposedly haunted sites in Canterbury.

But they didn’t need to ask a rational and logical question like that, now did they?

Along with the readers, of what was formerly was called a newspaper but is now little more than a tabloid - they already knew the answer to the million-dollar question “Hey fella, what have you found so far in terms of evidence?”

So far they found fucking nothing and they will find sweat fuck-all in terms of the after-life in any other places they care to stake-out – be it in Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand, Kazakhstan, Outer Mongolia or the back-blocks of The Amazon.

This is why: ghosts & spirits don’t exist.

The idea of ‘spirits’ or ‘gods’ stranded in a parallel existence, from which they communicate with those of the living with special abilities or can be detected by equipment purchased at Dick Smith Electronics, has in principal been about since time immemorial. The Delphic Oracle any one?

Life after death is a man-made invention.That’s why only dead humans communicate from an after-life, rattle chains in 13th century castles, and we don’t hear the barks from the deceased family Labrador coming from its old kennel.

If you believe in an afterlife and the ability for the 60 billion dead spirits to communicate (and seemingly so, only via psychics who charge for the privilege) with the 10 billion humans alive today and in some form survive-death, you must therefore believe that at some level:

*That every living minute of your life, is being snooped on by at least ten spirit beings, and they take an interest in you. Yes, that includes every time you have a piss, shag the wife, go to sleep etc. Why would these spirits be remotely interested in the mundane lives of you and me, when they can say voyeur the day to day activities of the drummer for Green Day? Following this logic is say Paris Hiltons shower room, the place to be in spooksville?

* What happens when the last living contact of these spirits dies? Who do they go around and watch then? Miss Hilton’s bed-room or the set of the next Porn Blockbuster - the living-world is your oyster. Why the fuck waste a single minute in a fucking re-converted Jail in Christchurch?

* All spirits apparently speak the same language, which fortunately means they avoid taking a crash Berlitz course in Serbo-Croation etc, the moment they pass-over.

* When you die you always prefer a crappy old building to live, the more derelict and unattractive the better. Ever heard of the ghost wandering the passages of the six-star Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai?

* In the after-life you retain the physical appearance and body at the moment of your death. With all those old people floating round it must be a fairly quite in the ‘after life’ and the zimmer-frame franchise-holder would be doing a roaring trade, along with sales in Viagra. Put it this way, I wouldn’t be opening a night-club in the next life. I pity the likes of Douglas Bader and invalids who must crawl their way through eternity - what a miserable existence it must be for these poor sods.

*If you are decapitated or placed in a vat of acid, you can still magically communicate and still keep your entire human-form when paranormal investigators open the cupboard you are hiding-in. Wow! Still on the positive, this leads to the conclusion that there's still hope for the ugly people in the after-life.

* The dead must take night classes. That’s so that when a bronze-aged peasant is called upon to communicate with a modern psychic, they know what say a ‘radio’ or ‘car’ is.

Lets be frank - the whole idea of dead talking to the living, spirits wandering spooky old houses is a load of crap.Those who claim to talk to the dead are nothing but crude charlatans with over active imaginations and a gift for cold-reading.

Those that chase ghostly spirits in the hope of finding evidence that when they die they get a second shot at things, are delusional and should get down to the pub and engage in sex more often (masturbation doesn’t count either)

In other-words start enjoying their one & only shot at life!

Let’s demand a separate system of Medical Care for Theists.

If we at all are honest as a society, we’d be open and say theist hypocrisy knows no bounds.

When are ‘we’ , the growing percentage of non-superstitious in New Zealand society, going to start say “enough is enough” and ‘return-fire’ using ironically the same rights Christians (and their allies) oh so conveniently see as theirs alone?

Let’s use these very-same ‘rights’ to bite them in the arse!

Time after time we’ve seen groups of Christians fighting every-step of the way to prevent medical breakthroughs, such as we see currently with stem-cell research and medicine.

As soon as medical/scientific advancements are in conflict with religion, like stem-cell is currently - castigation and obtrusion occurs.Protest is of course every-ones right, but later in the passage of time these evangelical protests are always proven to be self-centred platitudes, shown by history to be primordially laughable.

Inevitably what happens is at some later stage these very same protesters, or their loved-ones, needs to seek the same treatment they and their anointed representatives rallied so hard against.These two-faced, hypocrites have no compulsion seeking such treatment either.

On the other-hand God-fearing luddites are perfectly happy for others to be denied access to medical treatments, even if it means a miserable life or premature death for some other poor unfortunate – but only, if they themselves are not afflicted.

So as before you read my proposal, don’t feel any sort of compassion towards theists, for these very same individuals want to rob you and your closest of one of the basis rudiments of modern life - all to protect their beliefs. Always keep in the back of your mind, theists want their beliefs to over-ride yours – even if it means watching your own child die in a pitiless painful, fashion – when a cure is available, but denied to you because of their ancient superstitions.

Large tracts of so-called ‘loving’ Jesus followers in this country, want to deny childless couples the opportunity to have a family using medical treatments.

Cutting to the chase, what I’m suggesting is where resources are stretched in the health system, care is given to those who will appreciate it & respond. This is the same as an oncologist who opts to treat a non-smoking lung-cancer patient, ahead of one who continues to puff away.Therefore our health-system already rations medical care, so my proposition is not as radical as it first appears.Doctors, make ethical ‘life & death’ choices on daily basis and we don’t raise an eye-brow.

So where resources are stretched, why aren’t Health Boards using the discretionary powers available to them to allocate care to those who want it first?As an example, Catholics would automatically go to the bottom of IVF treatment.

Automatically no free contraception for Catholics either.

After-all their own ethical representatives have fought tooth and nail to get IVF banned. Yet, when it suits them Catholic couples will seek out the very-same treatment that they tried hard to prevent – so it’s hard to feel sorry for them. Besides they can call on their local Priest to assist (no, not in a Biblical sense but a pastoral role if that’s what you thought I was inferring to? Although I guess the first premise isn’t entirely out of the realms and would take some pressure off choir-boys)

Why shouldn’t a grateful, appreciative couple who wants a baby and have no objection to IVF treatment get priority over a couple who aren’t at all enthusiastic about the treatment due to ethical grounds?Further, the outcomes from couples who embrace a treatment such as IVF, are surely going to be more positive overall than those who are skeptical, and acting under duress, facing outside pressure to reject the ungodly procedure.

Based-on experience health-providers have a fair-idea which of the couples in this example are more likely to miss appointments, so precedency is both of benefit to the doctors and nurses but also ultimately the maligned, stretched tax-payer.

Our medical practitioners already respond to religious/cultural beliefs.Hospitals bow to pressure from the superstitious, giving them their own separate areas, actively assisting a policy of sectarianism and supporting a policy of privilege writing-it into law.

Jehovah Witness’s for example, are given the right to die rather than submit to a blood transfusion.

The religious precedent is already in existence – I’m merely taking the same entrenched statutory privileges bestowed on religion to their logical conclusion. Asking for exclusive rights is not a one-way street and should come with barbs.

If you don’t want stem cell treatment – we won’t give it to you.

If you don’t want fertility treatment – we won’t give it to you.

If you don’t want contraception – we won’t give it to you.

If you don’t want an abortion – we won’t give to you.

No exceptions.

Just don’t bother asking retrospectively for any of these things if say you are a Catholic, unless you want to pay or want to wait at the bottom of a long list.

We would then have the foundations of a separate health-system, only you and I wouldn't be funding the religious hospitals where the mortality rates would be on par with Cambodia.

Hypocritical theists can’t have it both ways when it comes to medical treatments that apparently so upset their invisible God ‘Yahweh’ and his emissaries on earth. On one hand theists can’t ask for a separate places to pray and do their thing at hospitals, demand rights that permit 'their own men' on-to the ward at the tax-payers expense, then in the next breath announce “we are the same and demand the same treatment.”

If all these two-faced theists all had true belief in their convictions, like say the witless but gutsy Jehovah Witness’s, there would be plenty of spare hospital beds for us Atheists, and over-flowing cemeteries with crosses on the graves.

So what is wrong with giving priority treatment to someone who wants it, over say someone who wants it stopped full-stop, or objects to it on ethical or religious grounds?

If it is exclusivity through extra rights, they want – let’s give it to them.

Let’s embrace those who abandon reason & science for superstition as it frees more beds for those who appreciate it.

Let the Hospitals and health-providers play their bluff when it comes to modern treatments that upset their sensibilities, let’s give them what they want & fought for.

It’s also high-time for theists to practice what they preach and abdicate themselves from mainstream medicine and get back to basics.

That’s to say: prayer and leeches.

Footnote: this is a re-hash of an earlier article I did.

With The National Party in power Euthanasia will never become a reality in New Zealand.

Death with Dignity is back in the public arena and there is, I feel, a genuine ground-swell of support from Kiwi’s for some form of euthanasia to be on New Zealand statute-books (N.Z Herald Poll a massive 82% support from received from respondents)

But I know, realistically, this will never become law whilst we have National in power.

Back in 2003 Peter Brown (N.Z First) proposed his ‘Death With Dignity Bill’ and MP’s voted by conscience for it’s inception, rather than say Party lines. At least that was the way it was suppose to work in principal.

In practice most Nationals MP’s (added and abetted by United Future) voted against the bill, and as a result was it failed to pass by the close margin of 60 votes to 58.

Let’s take a look at the some of those, then opposition, National MP’s that voted ‘No’ seven years ago:

Trevor Mallard
Wayne Mapp
Gerry Brownlee
David Carter
Tony Ryall
Bill English
Judith Collins
Paul Swain
Phil Heatley

These names are familiar to all of us, and form the backbone of the current Government running our country.

If just two of those names from above had have voted ‘Yes’ euthanasia would now be a reality.

So don’t hold your breath.

The Reading of Peter Browns Bill and subsequent Parliamentary debate is available here. Rodney Hides impassioned speech is worth a geez.

Christchurch Christian School Sacks Gay Sports Coach – for simply being Gay!

In February Middleton Grange School in Christchurch, hired a 28 year-old guy to coach their girl's netball team (footnote: a male coaching a female sport like netball was surely a warning sign in itself?)

In case you are not from Christchurch, Middleton Grange is open to Christian children ONLY.

But mind-you - not just any Christian brats qualify - no siree.

Oh no, according to the righteous God-fearing folk who run Middleton Grange - Catholic’s need not apply.

Don’t even ask if your spawn happens to be an Atheist, Hindu or one of the other heathens doomed to ultimately burn in hells flames.

So back to the matter in hand - as it turns-out the part-time Netball Coach happens to be gay, and this touchy-fact gets back to The School Board.

As you would appreciate all Christians hate homos, and New Zealand is no exception to backward bigotry. Nothing gets a Christian zealot more worked-up than man on man sex and people spilling their seed for the fun of it.

The School Board at Middleton Grange was faced with the terrible realisation of having released a real-life sodomite onto its hallowed-grounds.

Their romper-festooned virgins needed protection from this inherently sinful man (not in a Biblical sense of the term of the word ‘man’)

So they simply fired him.

The coach departs to another school and subsequently complains to the Human Rights Department who rightfully demand that the School apologies. Middleton Grange also ended-up paying him reparations.

What is rather ironic in this whole affair is how on one-hand The New Zealand Government sees sexual discrimination as a crime worthy of admonishment, and yet in the next breath it is happy to allow Schools like Middleton Grange to openly discriminate based on a child’s beliefs?

Is this the Greatest Atheist You-Tube Video Ever?

In my books this video, by the appropriately named Thinking Atheist, is simply ‘the greatest’.

No-one, theist or atheist, can not be touched by the dark, stark reasoning.

The utter stupidity of what is being taught.

The corruption of innocent minds.

Let’s make sure it goes viral by sending the link to everyone we know!

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rwioe1SGkQ

Aussie Catholic School-Boys go-on Queenstown Crime Spree.

“Our aim is to develop reflective, compassionate and articulatemen of Christian faith and hope who will give service and leadership in our world” (Mission Statement of Xavier College)

Xavier College is a Jesuit school and one of Melbourne's most elite private boys Catholic colleges. Its fees are about NZ$18,000 a year so clearly the snobby Papist parents of brats who attend Xavier College, are well able to pay for an overseas school-trip to New Zealand for some outdoor recreation (read: skiing) and the accommodation-bill at the towns four star Goldridge Resort.

Evidently 16 boys from a total of 30 pupils, aged 14 to 17, saw the overseas-trip as a green-light to exhibit feral behaviour befitting of Jesuits – by undertaking a mass coordinated shop-lifting spree the day before their plane was due to fly them home.

The sixteen teenaged Catholic criminals roamed the streets of Queenstown on Saturday and stole clothing worth NZ$6,000 from at least seven stores.

Ultimately their thieving was detected by shop-owners and The N.Z Police became involved, as were the embarrassed teachers.

All the boys bags were searched and Queenstown police returned recovered stolen goods to businesses yesterday. Compensation for the clothing damaged when the boys tore off the security tags, was also paid for – by the schools representatives.

Remember folks: Catholic Education makes better citizens.

Spoilt little rat-bags like this lot.

Wow really? The Catholic Church says Child Porn is Wrong!?

It’s official, well as official as it can be publicly construed, when it comes to the global fascist cult called The Catholic Church.

Get this stunning revelation fresh from Rome: “Child pornography is a crime against Church law”

Backing the truck-up here and looking at this announcement in the larger context, what we need to ask ourselves is “what sort of organisation needs to tell its members & staff this sort of stuff in the first place?”

Can you remember ever been told by anyone at all specifically - that looking at child porn was a crime and not to do it?

Has say your boss at work ever made specific references to the ramifications of down-loading kiddy porn?

The short answer is “no” – it’s just common sense and an innate trait of decent well-adjusted human-beings.

The Police, Internal Affairs, Parents, Companies etc don’t need to tell you, me and the other decent members of society that looking at child porn is a crime.

So what makes this press-statement significant is its very necessity.

We need to remind ourselves that The Catholic Church is riddled & infested with child-fuckers, deviants and moral reprobates – that we are not dealing with normal ‘Joe Bloggs’.

These are sick people in constant need of moral parameters, and not you and me.

Unlike other sectors of society Catholics, and in particular their clergy, need to be officially reminded not to perv at children being fucked by adults.

What a sad indictment.

Gods Ultimate Reality Show!

Television programmers take head of this idea for a reality show.

An anointed representative of every religion on the planet lines-up for a 12 hour televised ‘boom or bust’ experiment with a global audience measured in the billions.

Trust me - this will be the biggest T.V program ever screened!

Catholics, Baptists, Jews – you name the superstition – as long as they believe they have a telephone-line to God – there’s a place for their chosen warrior on the show (think ‘David’ in the story with Goliath) In-fact this is one show they couldn’t afford to miss.

Oh yeah, there will also be one Bonobo Chimp as well.

The chimp will be representing the non-believing heathens.

The religious representatives are all lined-up and then given a set of six dice (specially manufactured and tested, then randomly drawn from a lotto type machine on the day)

The chosen warriors of God plus the chimp then have 12 hours to throw as many sixes as they can – an average count of which will determine the ‘winner’ (rest assured it will be all above board and it won’t simply be a matter of the individual who throws the most dice but the average result)

The representatives and their supporters watching at home will be encouraged to evoke Gods support for their cause.

Believers will be motivated to prove to the world it is ‘they’ who have Gods favour above all others.

The chimp will get bananas and beer.

What do you think would be the result after all the dice had been thrown?

LION 1 : NUTTY PROSELYTE 0

Now and again a more devout Christian will attempt to literally test-out their Gods magical power for intervention (can I take her for a ride around the block?) undertaking some foolhardy enterprise - often with tragic and/or amusing results.

Presumably the high failure rate means God was down at ‘the local’ or too busy starving African children to intervene in a circus side-show.

Who knows?

Theists and the plain-stupid scripting their own demise have always appealed to my own dark sense of humour.

Similarly sometimes Christians also take their Bible way too literally e.g. say that story about Daniel and the lions.

This video (above) encapsulates both.

What Evidence would it take for you to believe a Tyrannosaurus was roaming your city?

The media is abuzz with reports of the alleged sighting of a T.Rex roaming the forests on the outskirts of your city.

A family is adamant it was a five metre tall, fearsome giant lizard they saw in a wooded area only 10 kilometres from where you live.

Naturally experts are highly dubious at these claims a large carnivorous dinosaur had somehow survived human detection for the past 60 million years.

The media makes fun of the claims, satirising the passionate claimants reports.

Now imagine how you would react to these anecdotal assertions?

What corroborating evidence would you need for you personally to attest to the notion “a T-Rex is indeed on the loose”?

Pictures? DNA samples? Expert confirmation from biologists? Seeing the beast with your own eyes? A combination of some or all of the above?

Now replace T-Rex in your mind with the word/concept of ‘God’ (as in the popular Abrahamic notion of the term)

As outlandish as the stories of a T-Rex running loose in local forests sound, they pale into insignificance when placed against the idea of a super-powerful all-seeing interventionist 'being' who created all life in the universe, existing undetected, watching & influencing all activities – from the birds in the sky to the deepest ocean – from birth to death and then even into the after-life.

Why is the stringent evidence even a layman needs to corroborate say a modern-day T-Rex, never applied to quantify the far more unbelievable being(s) known as ‘God’?

Fuji Minx: # 1 in the Rome Music Charts!

Apparently no mainstream television station would touch this video by the spunk-goddess, Fuji Minx.

She can put her leather boots and slinky French corset under my bed any-time (even if it meant the body paint she wears never came-out in the wash and she brought along her pet sheep along for ‘the ride’)

I mean to say what’s wrong with a chick getting her tits out and some hard-core blasphemy?

Its anti-Papist rhetoric has attracted the mind-police at You Tube to pull this video under the guise of it being in-appropriate (read: upsetting for the poor Cath-lick bubbsies who want to censor anything that offends their brain-washed minds)

Therefore what more recommendation do you need?

Go out and buy it!