Bizarre as it sounds, The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin was, purportedly saved & preserved by a Jewish woman, when Jesus Christ, was eight days old.
I joke you not, there are folk that take this stuff seriously.
One presumes, this unnamed Jewish woman, must have possessed psychic-powers, in order to recognise a Messiah brat, from all the other week-old new-born, and cognate the importance of flogging his foreskin and preserving-it, for posterity.
In a stunning historic oversight and quirk, Christian devotees at the time, thought a bit of Jesus Christ’s penis was a more significant relic to preserve, than say a single word of his writing , or description of his appearance?!
To further demean Christian historians and show what a bunch of oddballs these disciples were, they managed to mummify all-important body-parts of their God-Man, like the foreskin, yet failed to leave us a legacy like a painting or a sculpture.
Bumbling Christian historians, recorded Jesus’s foreskin was removed, eight-days after he was born - but forgot to note down the actual date of the birth itself!
As the story goes, and in another lucky coincidence for Christians, the enterprising intuitive Jewish old-duck, had a son who was a chemist, and it was him who was able to embalm part of Jesus’s cock, for Christians to worship-over, centuries later.
In another twist, evidently Jesus had a big cock.
From the share number of his foreskins floating around Europe, John Holmes himself, would have blushed at it’s size.
So would a mature male rhinoceros.
There happens to be portion of JC’s foreskin in Rome, Antwerp, Besancon, Newport, Metz, Coulombs, Heldesheim, Charroux, Langres, Fecamp, and Stoke-on-Trent of all places.
There’s two Church's in Auvergre, France alone, with claims on a bit of JC’s cock.
Eighteen places in total, where it’s preserved as a true holy relic.
Weird but true.
Goes with the territory.
5 comments:
Damn that image, I can't look away! That can't be real. Depressing.
Sadly, for you & me, the expression on her face, tells it all!
Note: come back tomorrow, there's another article which is just as depressing.
Cheers BT.
Paul.
I realize 2,000 years and a long soaking in alcohol based preservatives may distort its visual impact somewhat. But can we tell if he is the fair-skinned, Nordic, redhead of chrsitian art or indeed a dark-skinned, middle-eastern, desert dweller. Or based on the size you describe, could it be from a sub-Saharan African... a black man? Oh the joy if that news broke!
That could also explain why the "splinters" of the cross make a structure much larger than any cross. They needed extra support beams for his cock.
A yes this is a hilarious relic. B there are tons of fake relics floating around (perhaps all of them), theres enough "true" cross to wrap around the earth, and there are several heads all claiming to be one saints, and unless john the baptist had three heads, two of these relics are dubious. C you make one error in this post which as an intellectual little sh*t i feel the need to correct. jesus did leave his image. st luke painted the virgin and christ. reproductions of the original exist. the veronica also captured the true image (vera icona) of christ. there is also a larger painting of christ at the lateran, though most of it is covered by a screen. we have his image. D this relic is important, not because its hilarious -- which it is -- but because the circumcision was the first time christs blood was spilt. it foreshadows the crucifixion. since it also a piece of christs body that was not assumed into heaven, it is of great theological import. E and lastly, it makes theological sense for jesus to have an awesome penis. he is the perfect man who redemes the flesh. moreover, he is "the risen flesh." check out some renaissance depictions of christ on the cross, you will eventually find a raging boner.
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