For starters, there were two tablets of stone x two = four in total.
The first set, containing Ten Commandments, etched by God himself, were smashed after the 80 year old, polygamist Moses came down from Mount Sinai & became pissed-off when he found the Israelites worshipping a golden cow.
Moses then mixed the crushed cow with water and made a ‘tasty concoction’ for the Israelites to drink down.
But then Moses, got guilt-pains over destroying the tablets and sheepishly called on God to run-up another couple.
Now the 2nd ‘replacement’ set of tablets were not carved by God, but by Moses, under Gods dictation.
Now here’s the problem.
There were two different sets of Commandments – not one unified set.
Here’s what was on the first set, the one Moses smashed in his hissy-fit:
1. Thou shalt worship no other god (For the Lord is a jealous god)
2. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
3. The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep in the month when the ear is on the corn.
4. All the first-born are mine.
5. Six days shalt thou work, but on the seventh thou shalt rest.
6. Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, even of the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end.
7. Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread.
8. The fat of my feast shall not remain all night until the morning.
9. The first of the first fruits of thy ground thou shalt bring unto the house of the Lord thy God.
10. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother's milk.
1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself a graven image. You shall not bow down to them or serve them.
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honour your father and your mother.
6. You shall not kill.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.
It’s only when you start looking at the unintelligible, absurdities on the first set, that you see why Christians never get around to mentioning them, let alone leading their lives according to the original word of God and now prefer to take heed to the second ‘replacement’ set.
“Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother's milk” – Oh great a goat recipe.
“All the first-born are mine” – sounds like something from the creepy script of a Hamer Horror movie or a remake of ‘The Omen’.
“The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep in the month when the ear is on the corn’ – we all don’t live in Montana fella, tell us something modern man can understand.
“Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread” – bummer, I was so looking forward to that.
“Thou shalt make thee no molten gods” – so we’ll make them out of wood, like that command will stop us (puts on voice like Homer Simpson)
“Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, even of the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end” – can I get undressed and dance naked as well?
“The fat of my feast shall not remain all night until the morning” – God can see the condition of your BBQ and it’s about time you cleaned it.
So when ever you are asked to debate ‘The Ten Commandments’ come over all pious and righteous by dismissing the ‘popular’ set as being some sort of poor ‘Pepsi’ imitations when you want ‘the real thing’.
Point-out the 2nd tablets were not inscribed by God, but by a old doddery mortal like Moses.
Take ‘the higher ground'.
Pronounce boldly & defiantly, that you only believe in the Commandments written by Gods infallible hands.
Then ask for their “first born” and do they know a local restaurant specialising in Goat?
Nicely, of course.