Wednesday, September 15, 2010

4-1-9 Internet Fraudsters generous offer to help Canterbury Earthquake Appeal

IN-BOX THIS MORNING:

Hello i am glad to know you, but God knows you better and he knows why he has directed me to you at this point in time so do not be afraid, this is a charity proposal from Mrs Ruth Faayu. I apologize if the contents in this mail are contrary to your moral ethics, which i feel may be of great disturbance to your personal life, but please treat with absolute secrecy and personal to the glory of the most High God. I am Mrs Ruth Faayu the wife of late David Faayu whom died, as a victim of the Haiti earthquake on,12 of january 2010. I have some Funds I want you to handle for me in God,s glory. I promise that this project will be carried under a legitimate arrangement that will protect both of us from any breach of the law. If you are interested,Get back for more Information's Thank's Mrs, Ruth Faayu.

MY REPLY:

Thanks for your email Ruth,

It is pleasing to see that others follow Zeus ‘The Father of All Gods’ – all praise be to him.

Boy are you are in-luck - I also happen to be a moral reprobate!

Basically I fuck anything with two legs and have boozed and gambled away more than I care to think about.

I don’t have a dollar to my name and if I did I would put it on number eight in race six at Addington Raceway on Saturday night.

Thanks-be to Zeus for granting me forgiveness for my failings.

As chance would have it, where I live, Christchurch, recently also experienced an earthquake the same size as Haiti.

This happened just 12 days ago - but thanks to the all-powerful Zeus no one was killed.

I was in bed with a prostitute her mother & their dog when the quake occurred and was saved by diving-under their king-sized bed.

I also got out of the brothel without paying them!

Boy will the dog and the granny be pissed-off after what I made them do.

A true miracle but still there is a lot of damage to property in our region.

Anyway back to your heart-warming Charitable Proposal.

This damage to Christchurch property is estimated to be around 2 Billion U.S Dollars.

The Red Cross here in New Zealand have opened an appeal.

To save using-me as a middle-man here’s their bank account number: ASB account 12-3192-0006848-01.

Giving me your millions would only see them flittered away on hard-liquor, slow horses and prostitutes who specialise in BDSM and have a male dog as a pet.

The reference for your deposit is ‘Canterbury Earthquake Appeal’

Boy will The Red Cross be surprised when a stranger like you donates your $’s to the less-fortunate in our community and they will see me as some sort of a Kiwi hero!

I think it must be Zeus, the God of all Gods, that has bought us together.

I feel I am finally getting my life together thanks to your act of generosity.

This is the impetuous I need in my sorry life to get a proper house of my own, rather than living in a Salvation Army night-shelter.

The spark I need to get back together with my 3 ex-partners and reunite with my 13 children.

Many Many Thanks.

May Zeus look over you and your family.

Paul.

PS: I’m going to present this exchange to the Judge at my impending fraud trial - as evidence of my good character.

1 comment:

shreddakj said...

I had previously thought that no one was sucked into those scams these days, but a few weeks ago and acquaintance of mine gave $8000 to one of the 'Nigerian' scammers. Some people...