Tuesday, February 17, 2009

How to become a New Zealand Refugee in two easy steps

1.) Say you are Christian and persecuted
2.) Solicit support from some patsy group

Congratulations, to Iranian asylum Ali Panah, who was granted refugee status, yesterday.

The thinking-mans refugee.

Don’t just arrive in godzone, with the same old story of ‘political persecution’ back home. The N.Z Refugee Status Appeals Authority, gets to hear that story, all the time, eh mate?

Authorities could also check your claims, that you’d face political persecution if you returned home.

Why not take a different tact, one that is beyond reproach?

Something that can not even, be tested.

A scheme, that will also attract outside support, ramping-up pressure on the Refugee Status Appeals Authority.

That’s it – say you’ve suddenly converted to Christianity!

How easy is that to do?

A quick swat of The Bible, act all sincere, say God told you to come to New Zealand and not to eat for a prolonged period - you are ‘home and hosed’.

At all times keep-up appearances, by remembering that’s your new God and not the old one.

Christians get a hard-time back at home, don’t they Ali, even Kiwi’s know this - how good is that!

And the more publicity your case gets, the less likely it is you’ll be returned to Iran, so make as many headlines as possible. The plan,
just got better.

So to ramp-up that publicity, undertake a 53 day hunger-strike, and then get some high-profile naive & well-meaning Kiwi’s on your side.

Go to google and type-in ‘New Zealand, largest religious denomination’ and see what turns-up.

In Christian circles in New Zealand, they don’t get any bigger, than Archbishop David Moxon from The Anglican Church, so you ‘struck gold’ getting him to back you.

Things worked-out nicely, eh buddy.

PS: You would have been on the first plane back to Tehran, if you had have said you were an Atheist. But a bright guy like you, picked-up on that anomaly early-on, one suspects.

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