Friday, June 25, 2010

God Texts Fijian Pastor about impending Disaster!


There’s one thing to be said about the ‘Interim Fijian Regime’ (read: Military-Lead Government) – they don’t take fools lightly.

For the last month or so Pastor Laione Lutumaimuri Nacevamaca (above) and his side-kick Bill Govaka (ironically the one time former head of The Fiji Visitors Bureau) have been telling anyone who is interested, that a major natural disaster was about to hit Fiji – specifically 2:30 pm on Wednesday (23rd) this week.

The reason why the time/date is so specific is because it was God that personally told Pastor Nacevamaca, by way of his cell-phone clock.

That’s right: God telepathically communicated with Nacevamaca, then texted him!

“This is the date and time, mark it on your calendar” is what the excitable & delusional Pastor told the local press.

Sadly there were large tracts of the Fijian populous that believed his prophecy, so when whole villages began moving to higher-ground, tourist resorts were cleared following warning emails sent by Govaka, business’s & schools closed to avoid the impending disaster(s) - the Government acted decisively - by arresting & imprisoning the pair on Tuesday for spreading rumours.

Nacevamaca is charged with maliciously fabricating and spreading by way of mouth that there would be a tsunami, earthquake and strong winds, causing public alarm.

Mr Gavoka was charged with spreading the rumours by e-mail about the tsunami and earthquakes and causing public alarm.

Needless to say the time/date passed without either a ripple on land or sea, nor more than a warm sea-breeze.

Whether God bothered to text Nacevamaca to say “sorry for standing you-up” has yet to come-out.


Note: Off-Air for 10 days (may be less - who knows?)

1 comment:

DM said...

you're a perfect example of when PHILOSOPHY becomes an ENEMY OF LIFE...

http://stephenlaw.blogspot.com/2010/06/playing-mystery-card.html

not quite samantha with her *supernatural spit*, eh?


this isn't one of your little WORD GAMES...

blasphemy is a DEATH SENTENCE

you people actually BELIEVE the BS you preach!

GOD 1 - atheists 0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcNiD0Z3MU


Atheists,
you are ENEMIES OF GOD AND ARE GOING TO BE ANNIHILATED...

Repent and turn to God or be destroyed...

YOU HAVE NO CHOICE...

my interpretation of the STATUE FIRE... it symbolizes the SPIRITUAL DEATH of atheism...

http://www.latimes.com/news/custom/topofthetimes/national/la-naw-0616-jesus-statue-lightning-20100616,0,4295974.story

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/6/16/1276680110544/The-King-of-Kings-statue--005.jpg

http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2010-06/54332292.jpg


http://friendlyatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/butterjesus-1.jpg

PRINCESS DI IS WEARING A NEW DRESS!

http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/speechesandarticles/a_speech_by_hrh_the_prince_of_wales_titled_islam_and_the_env_252516346.html
______________________________
http://skepticblog.org/2010/04/06/would-i-ever-pray-for-a-miracle/

Shermer, I WANT TO SEE YOU BEG FOR A MIRACLE...
___________________
we do like your music Lady Gaga, but...

The B**BQUAKE - 911

Let me show you the FATE OF TRAITORS...

http://www.loiterink.com/photos/products/182_3424_500x500.jpg

they are incapable of telling the difference between SCIENTIFIC *FACT* AND
RELIGIOUS AND PHILOSOPHICAL *TRUTH*... FATAL ERROR!

they also preach a *VALUE FREE SCIENCE* called *POSITIVISM* that ignores the
inequalities of wealth and power in capitalist civilization...

for a sample taste of PZ Myers' GARBAGE...

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/06/sunday_sacrilege_imagine_no_he.php

HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

http://hawaiiwebgroup.com/maui-design/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/website-hijacking.jpg

HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

how can these HEADLESS IDIOTS BET AGAINST GOD!!!
________________________________________
what happens when you LOSE Pascal's Wager...

http://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/pascals-wager.htm
____________
you FIGHT PAPER MONSTERS...

the blood and bodies of the atheist movement...

you mofos killed MICKEY MOUSE!!!!

this has more TRUTH then what Dawkins, Randi, Harris, Myers, and Shermer
combined have said in their entire lives...

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=5R2wE8Sduhs&playnext_from=TL&videos=hht1U_19anc&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh%2Bdiv-1r-3-HM

they tried to BULLDOZE the entire METAPHYSICAL DIMENSION...
they LOST THE WAR......

you have FORFEIT YOUR SOUL, shermer... you have become an object in the material world, as you WISHED...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUB4j0n2UDU

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/7/11792994_ffaaee87fa.jpg

we're gonna smash that TV...

They had become ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE AND OF GOD...

you pushed too much and *CROSSED THE LINE*

degenerates (PZ) or children (HEMANT) - ATHEISTS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRRg2tWGDSY

do you have anything to say, you STUPID LITTLE F*CKER?

how about I tell you, Mr. Shermer, EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT THE WORLD is
*WRONG*

THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!
****************************************************
http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/philosophy-f1/the-boobquake-911-t1310.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx7XNb3Q9Ek

RUN, ATHEISTS, RUN!!!
-------------------
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html

the 9th and FINAL RING of Dante's Inferno is designed for little blaspheming traitors like you...

but at least FREE AIR CONDITIONING is included!