Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sensing Murder – Sensing Charlatans

It’s time to highlight the ridiculous & some-what morbid proposition, that some how, dead ‘spirits’ exist & the even more ludicrous position that, psychics can solve crimes.

First, the role of psychics, play in criminal investigations.

Were Psychics in any way a reliable form of investigating crime, doubtless they would already reside, in great numbers, behind the desks in every Police Department around the globe.

Every time a crime occurred, it would then be a simple job of taking an article of the aggrieved party to the Psychic Detective, and ‘hey presto’ they would produce the guilty party, or leads as to their where-a-bouts etc.

Psychic Detectives would have long ago largely replaced solid investigations based on the sort of substantive evidence, policing has traditionally relied-on.

Witness’s, statements, circumstance etc would no longer form the main basis of Criminal prosecutions.

Instead a Court would rely on what a Psychic, and their menagerie of dead people, had to say, to prove guilt or innocence.

It would mean in effect – dead people would be in control of Justice System.

Even the most ardent ‘believer’ in those who claim to have psychic abilities, can see what a ludicrous proposition this would be – yet are happy to swallow ‘hook line and sinker’ what is feed to them as ‘Reality TV’.

More ever the facts are to this point are conclusive: psychics don’t solve crimes (at any better than the rate of chance)

Nothing has come from say an episode of ‘Sensing Murder’ that had lead to a case being solved.

This is why.

Dead people don't talk & spirits don’t exist.

The idea of ‘spirits’ or ‘gods’ stranded in a parallel existence, from which they communicate with those of the living with special abilities, has been about since time immemorial. Delphic Oracle any one?

Life after death is a man-made invention.

That’s why only dead humans communicate from an after-life, and not the deceased family Labrador.

If you believe in an afterlife and the ability for the 60 billion dead spirits to communicate (and seemingly so, only via psychics who charge for the privilege) with the 10 billion humans alive today, you must therefore believe that at some level :

*That every living minute of your life, is being snooped on by at least ten spirit beings, and they take an interest in you. Yes, that includes every time you have a piss, shag the wife, go to sleep etc. Why would these spirits be remotely interested in the mundane lives of you and me, when they can say voyeur the day to day activities of the drummer for Motley Cru? Is Paris Hiltons shower room, the place to be in spooksville?

* What happens when the last living contact of these spirits dies? Who do they go around and watch then? Miss Hilton’s bed-room or the set of the next Porn Blockbuster, the living-world is your oyster.

* All spirits apparently speak the same language, which fortunately means they avoid taking a crash Berlitz course in Serbo-Croation etc, the moment they pass-over.

* Seemingly dead babies are given the gift of ‘speech’ or the after-life equivalent of a babble fish.

* In the after-life you retain the physical appearance and body at the moment of your death. With all those old people floating round it must be a fairly quite in the ‘after life’ and the zimmer-frame franchise-holder would be doing a roaring trade, along with sales in Viagra. Put it this way, I wouldn’t be opening a night-club in the next life. I pity the likes of Douglas Bader and invalids who must crawl their way through eternity - what a miserable existence it must be for these poor sods.

*If you are decapitated or placed in a vat of acid, you can still magically communicate. Wow! Still on the positive, this leads to the conclusion that there's still hope for the ugly people in the after-life.

* The dead take night classes. That’s so that when a bronze-aged peasant is called upon to communicate with a modern psychic, they know what say a ‘radio’ or ‘car’ is.

Lets be frank - the whole idea of dead talking to the living, is a load of crap.

Those who claim to talk to the dead are nothing but crude charlatans, with over active imaginations and a gift for cold-reading.

This is why the so-called Psychics paraded on New Zealand version of ‘Sensing Murder’ have avoided taking-up a $20,000 offer from local sceptic, Tony Andrews, to test their powers (more here on this challenge)

As we saw on TVNZ's ‘Eating Media Lunch’ last year, one of those Psychic stars, Deb Webber, was exposed by Australian Television, for the crude bull-shitter she is.

Enjoy this little excerpt as much as I did.

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