Golf is a game that bores me to tears: ponderously slow and archaic.
The terms ponderous and archaic are a nice segway into my two main criticisms of the game.
I am loathed to use the word sport here in the same sentence as golf.
How can it be a sport when we see morbidly obese golfers puffing away on fags?
And these are the pros!
No top athletes play golf.
Just, beer bellied blokes with double-barrelled names dressing like extras in a tacky rap music video.
If golf is a sport then so is Play Station!
Golf is not a fucking sport.
Golf is a game for the indolent rich, elderly and physically infirmed to allow them time to compare bank balances, European vehicles and swap stock-market tips.
Golf is played by those that have lost the will to live and don’t have, never had, enough testosterone pumping through their veins to play a real man’s sport.
Golf is Nature’s way of Saying “It’s Time to Die”.