You have just died and discovered, to your horror, that all those Christian stories of hell are true.
The Devil and his minions, all drunk and in black death-metal t-shirts, are there to greet-you.
Beelzebub looks at your mortal CV, concludes you are indeed in the right place.
Then welcomes you into the fold and allocates you a room with a view over-looking the active volcano.
So why the f*ck would The Devil now want to torture you?
He’s seen you have been a naughty-boy and ignored ‘the word of God’ and therefore surely he should be lining-up a big-titted whore and hard-liquor to celebrate, before you go off to see The Zappa concert.
But rather than congratulating you for being a staunch heathen – The Devil begins to punish you?
This is just not logical actions, oxymoronic, and no-one has ever explained to me why the ultimate evil-doer The Devil would want to punish mortals who follow his own path?