Wednesday, March 11, 2009

HOLIDAYS IN THEIST HELL-HOLES: JOHANNESBURG


We are as excited to present today’s tour destination as yet another bastion of the righteous, a city which is the home to four million, and thanks to the power of the gospel , over 90 per cent of the population is a follower of Jesus Christ.

Brothers & sisters, join us our visit to Johannesburg, the largest City in South Africa.

The secular media course, paints a very dim picture of life in Johannesburg, pointing-out that on a daily basis there are over 50 murders, 700 assaults, 400 aggravated robberies, and 150 rapes.

Then there’s the undue & unwarranted reporting of the highest rate of published child rape in the world.

This of course is superficial reporting, and ignores that South Africa as a whole, is the most Christian nation on the continent.

Yes, South Africa is a true manifestation of the power of Jesus Christ to change lives for the better.

As you wander the quaint squatter camps, you’ll gain first hand experience the power Jesus Christ has in the lives of the native Africans.

Thanks to our previous missionary work , preventing the distribution of condoms and supporting a ban on sexual education, 1 in 8 South Africans, will be joining their creator sooner rather than later, due to AIDS.

This 7 Day Tour includes a night stroll around the quaint native area of Soweto, where we’ll get to bond with fellow Christians, and pray quite a bit.
And what tour of South Africa would not be complete without a local cultural show, including the world-famous ‘tire necklace’ fire dance?

Yes folks, all the worries about your secular life back home will fade into insignificance, once you step outside the door of your Johannesburg hotel door and in to our tour bus.

We give you our personal guarantee - your exciting tour to South Africa will be 90% Atheist Free!

Brochure available from your local church.

8 comments:

les said...

I am an atheist who lives in the Johannesburg area. I am anti the current corrupt ruling regime so I have no ulterior motive for writing this but cannot let the article “Holidays in theist hellholes :Johannesburg” go unchallenged.

Yes, crime is bad in South Africa but I think you article is unfair on a number of counts.

1. I do not believe that there is any basis for linking crime and religion. This is pure bullshit and does not commend the article as advancing the atheist cause. A citation is needed.

2. I may have been fortunate but none of my extended family or any of my many friends have been affected by crime to a major degree. Certainly some of the townships are hell holes and crime remains a concern, but to paint the whole area in that vein is unfair. It is like claiming that because crime in certain areas of Miami, Florida is bad that all Miami is crime riddled and should not be visited. Many of the major cities of the world have their crime riddled ghettos.

3. Although I have no statistics I very much doubt that 90% of the South African population are practicing Christians or actively participate in other religions. In fact the African National Christian Party, which as it name suggests, seeks the votes of Christians is politically insignificant. Further, much as it stick in my craw to admit it, the millions strong African church which operates out of Maria in the North of the country probably does much good to reinforce moral standards amongst the indigenous people.

This article is wrong and biased and I am left with a strong feeling that it was inspired by racist ex-South Africans to justify their decision flee and are now missing the sun.

Canterbury Atheists said...

Gidday there Les, this is the 2nd Travelogue entitled ‘Holidays in Theist Hell Holes’ I’ve completed, and there will be more to come buddy(do a quick check search, top left, to read the first one on Brazzaville)

This all follows on from my ascertain ‘Its only the poor and less educated that now believe in God’ (the title of a blog I did 20thFeb)

So don’t take it personally.

The figures appear correct, taken from official sources,

I have never visited South Africa, and never plan to mate.

The closest I’ve got is flatting with two in London, 30 years ago and coaching two kids in my sons football team)

I’m a 5th generation Kiwi with some Maori heritage somewhere way back.

See ya.

Paul.

Kein said...

So you are actually agreeing that you have posted absolute crap with no actual research?

1) Neither the SADF nor the SAPS use the camouflage uniforms pictured in the top photograph.
2) The picture of the burning man was actually from Cape Town, where a Malwian man was burnt to death in 2008 in a Xenophobic attack. Nothing to do with religion.
3) The 'tire necklace'has not been used in SA since the unbanning of the ANC in 1990.
4) Check your facts - by % of Christians, South Africa is significantly lower than Namibia, Seychelles, Uganda, Rwanda. And by numbers alone Nigeria has far and away the most Christians. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_by_country

This is an unbelievably naive, biased and crude depiction of something you have obviously not researched too well.

I judge you to be a pig-ignorant Kiwi Idiot.

A Johannesburg-raised atheist now living in Cape Town.

Canterbury Atheists said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Canterbury Atheists said...

Actually it’s you that comes across to be ‘pig ignorant’ with your tirades.

No on second thoughts, that should be ‘Boer ignorant ’ as opposed to ‘boar ignorant’.

You have ignored my comments which point to the reasoning behind my series on ‘Holidays in Theist Hell-Holes’

Guys, you do you cause, no good, and have missed the point completely.

Future comments will be deleted, so save your savage breath and rubber bullets for those Kaffas.

Paul.

eternian said...

Atheist moron: stereotype much?

It's because of silly morons like yourself who believe they saw a big bang happen 15 billion years ago and life start from random campell soup and molecules randomly turning into men as you sat on your porches tossing out fake fossils every now and then as proof of your silly delusions of granduer that your country is at the gates of Hell you moron, not CHRIST-FOLLOWERS YOU BITTER TRUTH HATER.

Get a clue you feelings bashing idiot and stop airing the smelly opinions of your heart in place of the truth.

Details matter you anti-scientific reason hating moron. Rationalist is what you are not. Stop misdefining the meanings of basic words like reality and reason to make your narcissist selves look wise.

You are utter morons and brothers with the child-abusing, boy-raping, nun-raping, baby-murdering sexually perverted mass-murdering Catholics.

150,000,000 DEAD AT THE HANDS OF ATHEIST MAGGOTS LIKE YOU IN LESS THAN 100 YEARS YOU LYING SNAKE! AND COUNTLESS MILLIONS MORE BABIES MURDERED IN THE NAME OF, GET THIS STUPID DEMENTED SNAKE: SAVING LIVES.

Evil worm: LYING WILL NOT HELP SOUTH AFRICA: RATHER, "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE" CHRIST, YOUR GOD.

eternian said...

Atheist moron: stereotype much?

It's because of silly morons like yourself who believe they saw a big bang happen 15 billion years ago and life start from random campell soup and molecules randomly turning into men as you sat on your porches tossing out fake fossils every now and then as proof of your silly delusions of granduer that your country is at the gates of Hell you moron, not CHRIST-FOLLOWERS YOU BITTER TRUTH HATER.

Get a clue you feelings bashing idiot and stop airing the smelly opinions of your heart in place of the truth.

Details matter you anti-scientific reason hating moron. Rationalist is what you are not. Stop misdefining the meanings of basic words like reality and reason to make your narcissist selves look wise.

You are utter morons and brothers with the child-abusing, boy-raping, nun-raping, baby-murdering sexually perverted mass-murdering Catholics.

150,000,000 DEAD AT THE HANDS OF ATHEIST MAGGOTS LIKE YOU IN LESS THAN 100 YEARS YOU LYING SNAKE! AND COUNTLESS MILLIONS MORE BABIES MURDERED IN THE NAME OF, GET THIS STUPID DEMENTED SNAKE: SAVING LIVES.

Evil worm: LYING WILL NOT HELP SOUTH AFRICA: RATHER, "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE" CHRIST, YOUR GOD.

Canterbury Atheists said...

I gather I can come round to your place anytime I’m in Johannesburg?

Gates of hell? Maggots? Worms? 150,000,000 Dead?

Sounds as if you have some issues there buddy.

Have a great-day.

Paul.