Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Dump Christmas & Introduce Beltane Day!

Have you ever asked yourself, why the hell do we celebrate the Northern Winter Solstice in New Zealand?

Along with Guy Fawkes, New Zealand’s inherited annual celebration of The Winter Solstice on the 25th December, has to be one of the more absurd ‘holiday’ observances going.

Who in New Zealand gives a ‘rats arse’ that this date heralds the onset of winter in the northern hemisphere, when down-under we are basking in sunshine, donning shorts, and lazing on beaches?

And if the Christians wanted to pinch this date from the pagans and call it their own – why should we follow suit and act like that this date is any more relevant than say the 25th of August or the 07th February?

Pick a date, any date for the birth of Christ, they all have the same basis in fact.

That’s to say…..none.

It’s not yours, or my fault, no one bothered to put crucial information like dates of births in The Bible and the ‘desperate & dateless’ Catholic Church said “this Winter Solstice will do the trick” ten plus centuries ago.

This plagiarism of holiday observance dates may have some historic validity in say England, where winter falls at this time and where folks got naked & worshipped the sun (prior to do-gooders spoiling their fun) but the date has no credence in New Zealand.

Christmas, is New Zealand’s cultural equivalent of a legacy from a dead distant uncle, who liked wearing brown-suits & grey shoes, and expects you to now don them.

Hey, don’t get me wrong I totally support the principal of New Zealanders taking time off from work, drinking to excess, connecting with friends and family, venerating the deity of their choice (as long as it’s away from me), exchanging crappy gifts, adding to the countries obesity epidemic – but on the date of Winter Solstice when its’ 25 degrees Celsius outside?

Get outta here!

Then there’s the issue of Christians who conveniently ignore those ‘gapping blanks’ in their most precious book, and want the rest of us to go along with their historic pantomime and pretend, like they do, that Christ was born on this date – when he wasn’t!

These are the very same group of zealots that want us to be fine up-standing & honest citizens – but when it suits their own purposes they ‘never let the facts get in the way of a good story’.

If we are going to continue celebrating sacred pagan holidays - why stop at just Christmas and Easter?

And why should Christians have the monopoly on stealing & re-packaging pagan holidays and forcing them on the rest of us?

I want to lead a campaign to make New Zealand the first country to officially re-introduce the traditional Celtic observance ‘Beltane Day’, in place of the naff Winter Solstice (a.k.a Christmas).

Start circling the 01st May on your calendars.

Here’s a brief synopsis on what Beltane Day is all about so you make your own conclusions as to its merits:

In old Celtic traditions it was a time of unabashed sexuality and promiscuity where marriages of a year and a day could be undertaken but it is rarely observed in that manner in modern times.

In the old Celtic times, young people would spend the entire night in the woods "A-Maying," and then dance around the phallic Maypole the next morning. Older married couples were allowed to remove their wedding rings (and the restrictions they imply)

Before you disparage the idea of Beltane making a come-back 5 centuries after Christians in Scotland & Ireland banned it, here’s a photo from Edinburgh, taken at last years Beltane celebration:

You’ll no doubt observe from this photo and the You-Tube clip below, up in Scotland, Baltane means fire, naked bodies and lashing of beer.

Think ‘Wearable Art’ meets ‘Boobs on Bikes’ with a sprinkling of Marilyn Manson & Guinness.

It’ll be a sure winner with Kiwi’s!

In a decade no one will remember Christmas.

1 comment:

nullifidian said...

[U]p in Scotland, Baltane (sic) means fire, naked bodies and lashing of beer.

Due to licensing problems and over-zealous policing of the event, there's not so much beer these days, and the Beltane festival on Calton Hill has gone severely downhill in recent years.

It was fun though, walking home at the crack of dawn, slightly merry, with our faces covered in soot. Ah, memories...

Your link to their site should be (you've spelled it 'baltane')