Sunday, November 9, 2008

Election 08: Religious Parties Slaughtered!

Last night New Zealanders sent-out a damning message to Christian Parties, by rejecting outright their doctrine of exclusion.

Between United Future (0.89), Kiwi Party (0.56), & Family Party (0.33) the parties of The Lord (Potty for short) polled miserably, and will be down on their knees this Sunday morning, looking upwards wondering why Gods political wrath was delivered to ‘us’ his most ardent followers?

Zero was their grand total of party seats, a more emphatic electoral rejection, was not capable of being manufactured.

Peter Dunne, kept his constituent seat, the one he held when he was in National & Labour, is yet again ‘the lonely man in Parliament’, a situation he has made his specialty. Dunne’s number two, can start packing her desk & slip on back into ‘civy land’ to run her ‘happy clappy’ church.

The ‘blood-bath’ suffered by the Potty Parties is best exemplified by the pitiful performance of the Family Party (Family First in drag, similar to a Priscilla Queen of The Desert sense of the word)

Receiving 6,793 votes, Family Party polled well behind the ‘piss-taking’ Bill & Ben Party (10,738) and amusingly, even less than The Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party (7,589)

For those not familiar with Bill and Ben they promised to promise nothing. However, by promising no promises they are making a promise, but that’s the only promise that they have made. They promise. In their only known political statement of substance issued during their election campaign, their two leaders, Messrs. Linehan and Boyce, rejected United Future leader Peter Dunne as a possible coalition partner. They argued, rightfully so I might add, that he looks too "dweeby" and reminiscent of Dracula. Rejecting the $10,000 allocated to all Political Parties for electioneering, Bill & Ben opted for a publicity campaign that revolved around a range of outrageous media-grabbing stunts & you-tubes.

Their slap-stick approach proved more of a vote grabber to Kiwi’s than the dour ‘sky is falling’ propaganda that Family First (oops sorry, I keep on getting confused here) Family Party, issued.

On Election Night humour & closet dope smokers convincingly won over extreme righteousness.

New Zealanders signalled, by in large, they are not interested in erroneous issues like smacking, whether the neighbours are ‘shacked-up’ rather than married, or if the lady over the back fence works as a prostitute rather than a hair-dresser.

Kiwi’s resoundingly wanted consensus politics, and consensus has never been in the vocabulary of Potty Parties at this, or any of the previous elections.

The public wanted stable coalition government with a sound economic & social platforms, one that didn’t involve having to pander to minor parties like Kiwi, carrying their extreme agenda’s.

Last night, religion in New Zealand politics was publicly euthanised.

The process was performed painlessly, one vote at a time.

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