Sunday, September 29, 2013

The day has come for the U.S to get its own language.

New Zealand, Australian, Irish, Scottish, and even to add insult to injury English, accents are so unintelligible to Americans that television programmes are being subtitled for the benefit of U.S audiences.

All in misspelt AmericaniSed English! 

What a sad indictment English is being ripped apart by the Discovery Channel and trashy American movies.  

Historically Americans have adopted the Queen’s English and then systematically set about destroying the world’s most popular language by bastardiSing ‘pigeoning’ it into the gutter.  

Even words like ‘centre’ and ‘metre’ adopted from French get fucked-over by Americans.  

Latin words like sulphur cheapened to sulfur.

All the other countries where English is spoken are happy with its phonetic construction – except for the US which thinks it now owns the language and arrogantly dismantling it word by word, gutter Hollywood movie by gutter Hollywood movie.    

Americans are now so far out on a linguistic limb they are unable to even grasp English’s nuances when it comes out of the mouths of another speaker.  

The historic divergence from the root means Americans can’t even understand anyone else with an accent they aren't use to!  

I certainly have no problem hearing what other English-speakers have to say, this is reciprocated in listeners when the words come out of my mouth, spaced vowels and all.  

Television series from the U.S do not have subtitles here in New Zealand.      

If the Queen’s English is increasing now a foreign language to Americans, requires drastic subtitling - why don’t they simply drop-it altogether and create their own language?  
That would do us all a favoUr.  

The U.S can then be stuck with backward Imperial Units and its own pigeon language which no one else cares about, similar to its myopic sporting pursuits.  

If spoken English the rest of the planet uses isn’t good enough for the U.S public to grasp then stop employing it.
Stop dismantling its roots and come up with your own bloody language!  

A hybrid lexicon of gangster, Hispanic, Texting and a sub-branch of bastardiSed English that is  ironically already being spoken on the streets of Crompton this very day.   



The Vicar said...

The U.S. has the majority of English speakers in the world -- see

It also has a greater homogeneity of accent than England does. (Don't believe me? Go have a conversation with a Glaswegian and a Cockney and tell me I'm a liar.)

On the principal that the identity of a language is defined by the majority, America now defines English, and idiots sputtering about the way Americans sound are merely speaking a regional dialect; if anyone is going to get a new language, it's those outside the country.

Your time would be better spent yelling at the local kids to get off your lawn.

Canterbury Atheists said...

Oh I see, since the majority of French speakers are located in their former colonies then Congo as the most populous country should now dictate how the mother tongue is spoken?

Using your logic then all English speakers should sound like Indians.

But at least Indians understand other English speakers,

Unknown said...

looks out window:
<<<notices English has been the dominant language, here, for 2oo years more than ChristChurch

<<< notices the spellings of American English you are whining about were formalized before even one person spoke English in NZ.

The Queen's English is what is exactly ---and only ---spoken in English-speaking Oceania ? right

Perhaps this is meant as an example of one of subtleties, ( irony beyond irony ? ) you mentioned, lost to coarse American ears. You forgot the subtitles.

Canterbury Atheists said...

Formalized is spelt formaliSed.

I rest my case.

PapioTom said...

Conversely, the Discovery Network's TLC has a show called "Honey Boo Boo" wherein the (real-life) characters are such morons that their American language must be subtitled to render it intelligible to other American-speakers.

I've also wondered how the British teach pronounciation of the letter "R". It's "Ahh" as in "bahh" and "cahh"...