Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You were the first apart from Farid, Abdu and then there was the little-matter of…….

In Egypt there is a large religious stigma attached to women being virgins on their wedding night.

So what is a less-than-chaste girl to do in order to hide her dirty secret from her perspective husband, on those conservative sands of Africa?

How does one hide that night of debauchery spent between the sheets with Farid at a seedy motel in Alexandria.

Then there was the little matter of what went-on on the back seat in Abdu’s Mercedes.

Fret not, don’t get tears on your black wedding dress - help is at hand.

For a measly 15 bucks you can purchase a ‘virginity faking-device’ made in China.

On your wedding-night you simply shove-it-up your fanny and after your new hubby does his thing – it releases a quantity of imitation blood (use your imagination here folks)

He’ll be none the wiser about Farid & Abdu, so why tell him about the drunken night with the local football team either?

There is only one problem - getting your soiled-paws on one these virginity faking-device has got hard (pun intended).

Islamic scholars with the support of The Egyptian Parliament are to blame for this lack of supply.

They have dubbed the device as 'evil' with the potential to spread vice in society (read: adults enjoying pre-marital sex & making individual choices)

They want the importers of the product punished according to Sharia law.

And what is the punishment to be meted-out the importers and re-sellers of these 'evil' virginity-fakers?

That one-punishment that fits all crimes under 'The Religion of Peace'.


No comments: