Thursday, December 31, 2009

TIME FOR A CHANGE

Hello there citizens,

I have decided this blog ‘Canterbury Atheist’ has largely done its dash.

Articles will now fall to a trickle.

I will continue blogging in the New Year under a new alias but with a broader auspice and subject matter.

I am in the last throws of completing my first work of fiction – black comedy to be exact – now comes the giant hurdle of getting it published.

So it is writing of a more profitable kind I intend mostly pursuing – plus I’ve decided to make a short film of a futuristic nature.

Mind-you I have said this before and made a come-back from ‘the dead’ so who knows.

See you round.

Paul...vanishes into the ether in a puff of smoke.


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Religious Terrorists feed-on political-correctness.


Picture this there are ten rugby teams plus hangers-on from New Zealand about to board the plane ex Auckland to Los Angeles.

The share-size of the tour group means they take-up all but two seats in the aircraft.

The other two seats are taken by two male students aged 22 and 24 from The Middle East who have been studying in Auckland, and carry passports from Yemen.

So the numbers are: 550 Kiwi rugby tourists traveling AKL-LAX and two middle-eastern students.

Which group is it that poses a greater risk to the safety of this aircraft?

The answer is self-evident but deliberately ignored by every airline/government/security organisation in the world (excepting Israel who are ruthless in their role and care little what anyone thinks)

The fact remains terrorists are by-in-large easy to spot (a.) they are males under 40 years old (b.) they are Muslim (c.) they are itinerant and no longer live in their home countries.

So why not target these individuals?

After-all we all know how to identify 99% of them?

This process starts with looking at their backgrounds, before they even get on-board an aircraft.

The reason why aircraft safety is compromised and everyone is treated as a potential terrorist is ‘political correctness.’

Spineless Airlines and Governments in the west can not be seen to ‘target’ one set of people over-another.

They place political correctness ahead of passenger safety.

If more attention was being spent checking the backgrounds of religious terrorists and automatically examining every inch of the ‘high-risk’ group’s person/baggage – flights would be a hell of a lot safer.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Teabagging for Jesus? What next?


Clearly things are tough to the members of this church forced into prostitute themselves by offering this ‘service’ to random passers-by.

But then again, is she merely letting strangers know what she gets up-to in the privacy of her bedroom? Indicative of the fact Christians are more open-minded than I give them credit for?

Monday, December 21, 2009

New Zealand Football turns a blind-eye to Animal Sacrifice.

Using the backward reasoning of ‘when in Rome’ FIFA and the participant countries have all turned a blind-eye to the imminent slaughter of cows as a part of blessing ceremonies at each of South Africa’s stadia.

This is not a pleasant and humane method of slaughter for the poor cattle, sacrificed to appease the superstitious Zulu’s who seek the blessing of their dead relatives.

For those who are squeamish it may pay to give this You Tube video a miss.



For The South Africans who want to present their country and the continent in a new light these sacrifices will go to prove their detractors jibes about ‘primitive natives’ and bring in to focus their ability to host the worlds largest sporting event.

Justification’s that the inhumane slaughter of animals is part of African values and culture speaks volumes about these very values and culture.

One hopes The N.Z Football Association, who have so-far failed to say a word on this issue, will have the guts to speak-out against this mass animal abuse.

Friday, December 18, 2009

New Zealand’s Christian Taliban demand their version of Christmas can be the only one!

Christmas is the one time of the year where you would anticipate all of Christianities variants would unite to celebrate the birth of their messiah – bury the hatchet.

But there has been few Christian good-tidings for St Michaels Anglican Church in Auckland over the festive season.

Recently they placed this risqué poster outside their church to simulate debate amongst all peoples about the story of Christ’s birth , including non-believers, or as Archdeacon Glynn Cardy put-it “We actually think God is about the power of love as shown in Jesus, which is something quite different than a literal man up in the sky,"


The archdeacon says the plan behind the billboard was to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story – and frankly they did a good job and get my congratulations on a great marketing job – it’s a winner.

However whilst atheists may have gotten a giggle out of this novel approach to ‘bring Christ back into Christmas’ – not so the fundamentalists in the Christian ranks.

And it doesn’t get any more fundamentalist in New Zealand than Family First and The Catholic Church.

Their followers and ilk have been stirred into action and in the ultimate act of Christian charity first vandalized and then ripped the poster down.

St Michaels office phone has forced to go straight to a message centre after be lambasted with abusive calls and threats.

The Police are now involved.

Like any good fundamentalists the Christian Taliban see themselves as ‘the true believers’ and ‘holders of the truth’ and will break the law, threaten and abuse those that stand in their way – even if their targets are the largest Christian denomination in New Zealand.

To interpret The Bible any other way than their own – is to quote several threats emailed to the church ‘blasphemy’.

Well here is my own Christmas message to the spokespeople of Family First and Catholic Church, Bob McCoskrie and Lyndsay Freer and those who wish to stifle freedom of speech.

“Who needs Atheist bus adverts when there are bigots like you doing the job for free?”


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The National Party Religious Right Flexes It’s Muscle

If you want to doom yourself to the political wastelands in this country – mention God and voters will run a mile.

Then ask Peter Dunne how hard it is to control the religious zealots in ones ranks.

The blinkered & superstitious M.P’s who vote for God before country and turn their backs on the very political-party they owe their livelihoods too, all to appease their invisible deity.

New Zealand voters learnt exactly what sort of ‘DNA’ makes-up The National Party last week when it’s ‘Christian’ M.P’s voted down legislation that would have meant more liberalised Easter Shopping.

These National members of parliament deliberately stepped away from the mainstream of their party and voted for their superstition first – party politics & their constituents second.

In other-words they spat in the faces of those that elected them thinking, wrongly as it turns-out, National was a pro-business, pro-choice party.

It’s not till you take a look at the backgrounds of these National MP’s that sided with Labour and Greens to see the Easter Shopping Legislation defeated you see why National has a mini-caucus that answers only to the God of The Old Testament and not to mortals.

MP’s that are happy to turn their backs on both the voters and the party they supposedly back and rode into power on.

BILL ENGLISH: Papist with eleven children.

ERIC ROY: Presbyterian Church Leader in the real world

JONATHAN YOUNG: Senior Minister of City Church in West Auckland

SAM LOTU LIGA: High-up in Penrose/Greenlane Christian Centre

TIM MACINDOE: Was the Deputy Head of Anglican Boys School

CHESTER BURROWS: Lay-Preacher on his days off

Someone else can expand on the religious affiliations of the other four National MP’s (Phil Heatley, Shane Arden, Katrina Shanks) who showed their ‘true colours.’ when it comes to matters of conscience.

Mark my words this won’t be the last time this ‘moral-minority’ will embarrass National and their voters.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What a load of Bull!

As a male I do heaps of channel-surfing and with the whole gambit of Sky Channels at my disposal that equates to a shit-load of random channel changes in any one evening.

Two nights ago I stumbled on-to this ‘Only in America’ snippet.



I genuinely had to check the channel to see if this was not some sort of comedy skit such was the farcical nature.

Looking over the clip again off You Tube the absurdity of this so-called ‘news’ item becomes even more clearer.

If your nominated God was going to offer ‘a sign’ surely he/she could do a better job than this?

This is a run-down farm in Connecticut, which appears to have more genetic throw-backs amongst its human occupants than its bovine.

Then there’s the cross itself.

Frankly the cross on this bull looks as if it was done in water-colours and the artist dabbed a bit too much water on the brush. The technique sucks.

The cross bears more resemblance to Scientology than a Christian crucifix so were of an opinion this was a sign from a deity rather than something unusual and mildly interesting – there is more evidence of the mysterious beyond-the-grave works of L.Ron Hubbard as opposed to the nameless Abrahamic god.

The real interesting thing in this clip is this – what happens if this bulls off-spring all have this pattern?

Will this mean Darwinian biology kicks-in and their progeny live their lives out without threat of premature death and thus become the dominant cows by virtue of this ‘cross-like’ pattern, coupled-with superstitious hick-farmers who spare them from being made into burger patties?

The scenario reminds me of the Dr Seuss story about the stars on the bellies of Sneetches.

Moooo.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Reports authors state Family First mislead N.Z Public


When does Family First actually get something right?

This ideologically driven pressure-group is not gifted at picking winners and has failed dismally to achieve the goals it has set out to do = a society based on The Old Testament.

Time after time Family First and their ubiquitous spokesman Bob McCoskie shoot-off at the mouth (often in tongues) rather than doing a semblance of research & thinking-through the consequences of their actions.

This time last years they claimed Divorce Rates were harming the New Zealand Economy. One small fact seemed to have escaped their paid researchers - but not myself. Taking their Leviticus logic to its natural conclusion, the fastest way to reduce the so-called harmful effects of divorce is for more Kiwis to become atheists – who are comparatively less represented than Christians in statistics.

Family First wanted Kiwi’s to boycott The Hells Pizza chain (2006) over their condom promotion – giving their targets more free publicity than they ever could have possibly paid for – increasing their sales and establishing their brand.

The year prior they demanded the T.V Program ‘Californication’ be taken off our screens – which again had just the opposite effect – alerting the public there was graphic sex scenes on free-to-view state T.V resulting in ratings sky-rocketed.

So you can firmly place where Family First falls in the ideological spectrum Bob McCoskie personally wanted The Simpson's taken off our screens in 2005 due to foul language.

Over the years bans and boycotts are Family Firsts modus operandi & the list grows year by year they crudely attempt to sledge-hammer their so-called ‘family values’ on-to a reluctant society.

‘Boobs on Bikes’ – should be banned.

‘AIDS pamphlets depicting genitalia ’ – should be banned

‘Web Site Miss Bimbo’ – should be boycotted

‘Girls kissing Girls Radio Competition’ – banned and boycotted.

Now the latest flummox in a long line of them, is their failled attempt to repeal smacking legislation. Family First were one of the major drivers of the appalling worded referendum held this year that wasted 9 million dollars and achieved - yet again - nothing.

This weeks released report commissioned by the incoming National Government into whether smacking laws were effective and if inconsequential smacking by parents had lead to criminal prosecution (which Family First claimed was the reality) has lead the authors of the report to single-out Family Firsts central-role in scare-mongering.

Yet, again Family First got their facts horribly wrong and many of the cases they had championed as being evidence of ‘good parents being targeted’ were at best selective and as one of the authors Nigel Latta told New Zealanders “that can lead it to throwing weight behind parents who don't deserve it and in so doing mislead the public.”

Latta went on to tell of one case Family First had ‘backed’ on Radio New Zealand that they had solicited support for their cause by highlighting “a case were a parent prosecuted for hitting a child with a pillow " but went on to clarify that “at face value ...an extreme over-reaction" but then introduced the real-facts that “it turned out the (perpetrator) had more than 70 convictions for violent offences.”

It was just the bit about the pillow-slapping Family First hollered-about to the local news-media – not the other 70 plus cases of assaults the abuser was found to have perpetrated.

In-fact ALL the cases Family First forwarded cases to Mr Latta and his committee to review as part of some pattern of over-zealous authorities prosecuting innocent parents – in not one of them did Latta feel Child, Youth and Family and police behaved in an appropriate fashion.

Latta is scathing of the Family Firsts selective reporting and its scaremongering – telling McCoskie and his rabble they were at times duped into believing false testimony and, as I said in my introduction, not doing their homework.

Thanks to Latta’s honesty and frankness New Zealanders now know Family First, a so-called Christian based organisation, were happy to back convicted scum-bag child-abusers to achieve their narrow political goals.


Monday, December 7, 2009

Catholic Church produces its own Foreplay Guide

Just a week after it was revealed Pope John Paul got his rocks-off with the masochistic practice of self-flagellation (refer article below) comes another doozy from The Church of Rome.

A foreplay guide of sorts has been published and available for married Catholic couples in New Zealand, instructing them amongst other things - what to pray-for prior to engaging in acts of sexual-congress.

The book entitled ‘Prayer Book for Spouses’ was first published in The United Kingdom by the rather oxymoronic named ‘Catholic Truth Society.’ (rumoured to be an off-shoot of The British Man-Boy Love Society)

So pray-tell (pun intended) what exactly do randy Catholics need to say to evoke a form of evangelical Viagra from their nameless god?

If you want to improve your performance between the sheets, become a sex-god or goddess, you may want to take heed of these mantras next time opportunity presents itself.

Go grab a pencil and paper, feel-free to take notes and undertake your own research as to their efficacy (only married couples need trial and remember to restrict yourselves to the rhythm-method)

“Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will”.

“'Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness. Clothe us in true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, for ever and ever.”

“Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites … [and] loving physical union that welcomes.”


I mean to say when you are in need of assistance with you love-life what better source than a group that is run by an eighty year old virgin, represses women's rights and engages in wide-spread pedophilia and cover-ups?

Surely a fine-group of this standing is well placed to instruct others tell others about matters of male/female intimacy.

The Catholic Church spokeswomen in New Zealand and come-back queen, Lyndsay Freer is adamant “Sexuality is an intrinsic part of marriage and prayer is perfectly logical and normal.”

So I have some prayers Lyndsay’s nameless god can answer for me (place your own in the comments section)

Goes to his knees, sits beside the side of his bed closes his eyes and asks out-loud:

“Please god with no name…….

“can I be 18 again?”

“how come an ugly fat guy like Ron Jeremy can get to f*ck over a 1,000 chicks?”

“my wifes best mate, the blonde divorced one, what about a menage a trois and I’ll promise to go to Church the next day?”

"if you were real it would be 12 inches."



Friday, December 4, 2009

Life after Death ‘The Evidence’ – Sweat F**k All!



I’ve never heard of this numb-skull D’Souza before this, but he doesn’t get off to a good start when he’s asked “Is there life after death?” and he replies “I think there is?” Hardly convincing stuff when you are trying to flog-off a book proving life after death is real.

Next his constant, if not convenient, confusion of ‘near death’ with ‘death death’ – there is a big difference between the two concepts – we happen to call it eternity.

No one has ever come back from the full-blooded version of death.

If I pumped a full magazine into his head, I don’t think he’ll be telling us about ‘tunnels’ and ‘lights’ anytime soon.

Yes, like most humans Atheists like me are shit-scared of death but we don’t make-up stories to comfort ourselves at night in our caves – instead we get enjoy our one and only chance at it and would rather spend the money on alcohol rather than this turkeys absurd ramblings.

Conclusion: There is of course life after death – just not for the dead people.