Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Which set of Ten Commandments do we follow?


Even the most staunch, theologian would agree this Ten Commandments business - is a right royal mess.

For starters, there were two tablets of stone x two = four in total.

The first set, containing Ten Commandments, etched by God himself, were smashed after the 80 year old, polygamist Moses came down from Mount Sinai & became pissed-off when he found the Israelites worshipping a golden cow.

Moses then mixed the crushed cow with water and made a ‘tasty concoction’ for the Israelites to drink down.

But then Moses, got guilt-pains over destroying the tablets and sheepishly called on God to run-up another couple.

Now the 2nd ‘replacement’ set of tablets were not carved by God, but by Moses, under Gods dictation.

Now here’s the problem.

There were two different sets of Commandments – not one unified set.

Here’s what was on the first set, the one Moses smashed in his hissy-fit:

1. Thou shalt worship no other god (For the Lord is a jealous god)
2. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
3. The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep in the month when the ear is on the corn.
4. All the first-born are mine.
5. Six days shalt thou work, but on the seventh thou shalt rest.
6. Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, even of the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end.
7. Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread.
8. The fat of my feast shall not remain all night until the morning.
9. The first of the first fruits of thy ground thou shalt bring unto the house of the Lord thy God.
10. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother's milk.

Here’s what was the 2nd set which is what is the ‘popularised version’ –we get rammed down our throats:

1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself a graven image. You shall not bow down to them or serve them.
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honour your father and your mother.
6. You shall not kill.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.


It’s only when you start looking at the unintelligible, absurdities on the first set, that you see why Christians never get around to mentioning them, let alone leading their lives according to the original word of God and now prefer to take heed to the second ‘replacement’ set.

Ask yourself………

“Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother's milk” – Oh great a goat recipe.

“All the first-born are mine” – sounds like something from the creepy script of a Hamer Horror movie or a remake of ‘The Omen’.

“The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep in the month when the ear is on the corn’ – we all don’t live in Montana fella, tell us something modern man can understand.

“Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leavened bread” – bummer, I was so looking forward to that.

“Thou shalt make thee no molten gods” – so we’ll make them out of wood, like that command will stop us (puts on voice like Homer Simpson)

“Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, even of the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and the feast of ingathering at the year's end” – can I get undressed and dance naked as well?

“The fat of my feast shall not remain all night until the morning” – God can see the condition of your BBQ and it’s about time you cleaned it.

So when ever you are asked to debate ‘The Ten Commandments’ come over all pious and righteous by dismissing the ‘popular’ set as being some sort of poor ‘Pepsi’ imitations when you want ‘the real thing’.

Point-out the 2nd tablets were not inscribed by God, but by a old doddery mortal like Moses.

Take ‘the higher ground'.

Pronounce boldly & defiantly, that you only believe in the Commandments written by Gods infallible hands.

Then ask for their “first born” and do they know a local restaurant specialising in Goat?

Nicely, of course.


David Attenborough receives death threats over Darwin Documentary


Considered one of the finest British broadcasters of the last 50 years, Sir David Attenborough is a familiar face on New Zealand television, thanks to his award-winning nature documentaries.

A frequent traveler down-under Attenborough has spent a good part of his life, educating the public and documenting the wonders of the natural world.

So who would threaten to kill this likeable, intelligent ‘wouldn’t hurt a fly’, 82 year old gentleman?

Those ‘loving’, flat-earth Luddites, commonly called ‘The lesser spotted Christian fundamentalist’.

I mean, why should Muslims, have a monopoly on Fatwa’s?

Sir David’s lack of tribute to God in his latest documentary on Darwin, has exposed him to death threats and abusive mail, from this sector of Christianity.

All too conveniently Christians are able to reconcile their beliefs, to include threats to kill the distinguished naturalist, simply for his support of Darwin’s science over their superstitious beliefs in a higher being.

“ They tell me to burn in hell and good riddance," Sir David said during an radio interview about his latest documentary on Charles Darwin and natural selection.

These cuddly unless prodded Christians, want God to receive sole credit for all the marvel & good we see about us , or as Sir David decribes this": "they always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds” , but never the brutility of nature.

"I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in East Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball”.

"The worm cannot live in any other way, except by burrowing through eyeballs”.

Speaking about views 2,000 years ago, the self-declared atheist said: "The idea that the Lord had given us a present, that the world is a gift from God... well, the amount of stuff, back then, that the Lord was giving away was limited. We do not have dominion”.

No wonder more and more Kiwi’s are turning-off religion, when they see ‘the hard core’ believers in their raw form.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

What the Kiwi Anti-Jewish Peace Protesters don’t want you to see.













PS: Did you know John Key has Jewish ancestry?

Kiwi Peace Campaigners – The Real Agenda


Having been driven from their homes and land 60 years ago by Jewish terror squads the Palestinians are left with just 22% of the land of the original Palestine. It was nothing short of an exercise in ethnic cleansing which is mirrored today in the racist laws which give second class citizenship to non-Jews in Israel” (Global Peace and Justice Auckland 29/12/08)

“After this week, does anyone doubt that Israel is a terrorist state?” (Matt McCarten in N.Z Herald 29/01/08)

“March on Saturday for New Zealand to condemn Israeli genocide of Palestinians and in solidarity with those under attack in Gaza” (Auckland University Students for Justice in Palestine)

“Religious ministers are invited to wear their clerical garb” (amongst the Media Release from Christians for Justice in Palestine advertising a recent protest in Wellington)

“The biggest march for justice in Palestine in the history of New Zealand, it also saw a powerful unity between Aotearoa's Muslim and Arab community and the radical Left. A barrage of hundreds of shoes rained unto a bannerless American Consulate to the chant of "Hey, Hey, USA- where's your bloody flag today?"(Socialist Aotearoa web-site report on protest march)

“Israel is behaving as the world’s leading pariah state” (Palestine Human Rights Campaign spokesman Janfrie Wakim 01/06/2006)


“We support our Government withdrawing all ties and support of Israel immediately.” (Media release from Anne FitzSimon, Nelson Peace Group 29/12/2008)


Looking at the backgrounds of the key protagonists in the Anti-Israeli/Pro-Terrorist we find a strong ‘bond’ of communality…..

Bernard Minto (Catholic & Political Activist)
Tyler Culpepper (Catholic & Anarchist)
Leslie Bravery (Religious affiliation unknown, Political Activist)
Father Gerard Burns (Catholic Priest, Political Activist)
Keith Locke (Atheist, Green MP, One time supporter of Pol Pot)
Mike Treen (Religious affiliations unknown, Unionist, Political Activist)
Joe Carolan (Catholic, Unionist, runs a blog called Socialist Aotearoa even though he’s Irish)
Cat Noakes Duncan (describes herself as a Christian Volunteer)
Sahar Ghumkhor (Religion and profession unknown, but someone will know)
Dr Margaret Mayman (Presbyterian Minister)
Janfrie Wakim (Catholic, Director of Child and Poverty Action)

‘Joining those dots’ here, folks?

By the way it’s Cat Noakes-Duncan’s 7 month old daughter looking bewildered & draped in the blood stained clothing, above. Where’s CYPS when you need them, eh?

Open Questions to any-one reading this:

1.) Why do Kiwi peace campaigners only ever target Israel and its allies? Why haven’t key-players like Iranian or Saudi interests, featured on their ‘radars’?
2.) What protest action did these peace campaigners undertake after 2,800 innocent people from 91 nations (including Kiwi’s) were murdered by Islamic terrorists in 9/11?
3.) Why are so many of the key figures in the N.Z peace-movement, the products of a good Catholic/Christian education?
4.) Do any Peace Activists have ‘real’ jobs?

And what is the agenda of New Zealand’s so-called, mostly Christian, ‘Peace’ Activists?

Nothing short, of the destruction of the State of Israel – that’s what.

Hope you enjoy this video of a military parade from Iran (they are a major source of arms for Hamas and terrorism in general, which seems to have escaped the attention of peace-nicks)



It may be an eye-opener to anyone naïve enough to think Tehran’s nuclear plans have peaceful intentions.

Included in the category of deluded & naïve, the entire fore-mentioned rabble of layabout Kiwi anti-Semites.

But in case I’ve gotten this all wrong about these unbalanced, pious bunch of Peace Campaigners I’ve taken the liberty to provide them with both the address & photo of the Iranian Embassy is New Zealand.



151 Te Anua Road, Wellington.

I’ll look out for their protests outside the Iranian Embassy shortly (rolls on the floor laughing)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Have A Nice Doomsday On Me



During the holidays, I managed to catch-up with some much overdue reading.

One of the books I got through, was this one…..




What an interesting & provocative read it was too.

University of York Professor Nicholas Guyatt investigates why American fundamentalist Christians are obsessed with the end of the world bull-shit, by interviewing the key authors who make millions peddling ‘rapture in your lifetime’.

His synopsis throws light on why the U.S ‘bible-belt’ throws it’s support behind Israel, a subject of current significance given the developments in Palestine.

Rather than their support originating as part of some benevolence towards the Jewish people fighting the greater evil of Islam, there is another darker more basic tenant.

That is: a Biblically inspired ‘good versus evil’ apocalypse can only occur whilst Israel is in existence.

Of course every American evangelical prophesier of doom, have their own spin on how this end of times will unfold, but there is one common thread.

Israel is the key in the events, that are about to happen.

Gods literalist script as revealed in the passages of Revelation and Ezekiel are unfolding, and there’s nothing wrong nudging them to their inevitable conclusion – even if it means the extermination of 75 per cent of the planets population in the process.

These key-figures peddling doom and redemption, propose such things as:

- Demolishing the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, Islam’s third holiest site, and rebuilding on it’s site the original Jewish temple.
- Joint U.S and Israeli pre-emptive nuclear strike on Tehran.
- Environmental issues are a sure positive sign the end is near.

They believe all Jews are ‘expendable’ and will be converted to Christianity or perish in the apocalyptos.

Only those who are Christians (past and present) will be spirited away.

Perturbing of all for those who share the planet with these powerful fundamentalists and their allies in The White House, is the fact there’s around 50 million of them, and from their perspective a ‘war to end all wars’ is something to welcome, and a reassurance their faith will triumph at the expense of everyone else.

It's a bloody worry.

The Bible or The Penthouse?


Zealous Christian missionaries have taken to putting their favourite book, in remote tramping huts through-out wilderness New Zealand.

Let’s say you were a cold tramper trapped in a hut due to inclement weather, forced to light a fire by ripping-up any paper you could find around the joint.

Faced with ripping apart some of the meagre reading material you find in the hut to use as a ‘fire starter’ - what is the first book you would use for pages faced say with two stark choices:

The Bible or The Penthouse?

Take my poll on the right.

PS: The former president of the Canterbury Westland Alpine Club, Grant Piper indicated in The Christchurch Press {24th January} that given a choice between a ropey old Readers Digest and a Bible – he’d take a page from the Bible.
Footnote: The poll results were conclusive, 28 for The Bible and only 8 for The Penthouse!

Meet The Man who talks to Gold-Fish


This is American, Bill Northern who spend half the year in his home state of Virginia and the other half in Rakiai (50 kms south of Christchurch)

He claims he can talk to animals.

His specialty is horses, but apparently he can talk to a whole menagerie.

Giraffe’s are within his scope, as are gold-fish.

Armed only with his divining rod, pendulum and his trusty band of angels, using skills entrusted by Indians, ol’ Bill provides owners with a service that is part veterinary and part psychology.

That’s red Indians by the way, so don’t go asking the guys at the local takeaway to take a look at your moggy.

The whole ‘check-over’ procedure takes 17-18 minutes.

Bill and his angels are clearly very precise.

Not 16 minutes of even 19 – it’s 17 to 18.

He also accepts checks (sic), Visa or MasterCard.

20 Minutes come at USD 90.00 (deposit required)

Hold on weren’t we told it would take 17-18 minutes?

Bill’s site tells us more about his bread-winner, horses of the racing kind, and the period he was an owner.

“Over the following decades he became drawn into the world of horse-racing, working as a judge at racetracks making sure trainers and drivers were sticking to the rules. He has also owned between 30 and 35 trotters in his time, although he says he only ever owned one he would describe as successful”.

Now given that Bill claims to be able to speak to horses (via angels)would you not think the following question would have been amongst the first uttering’s to depart his lips directed at his own thoroughbreds?

Namely “put the word around for a hot tip in the next race”.

Or asking around the yearlings in the paddock “who’s the fastest around the yard out of you guys?”.

Why is it a guy that can ‘talk to horses’ not able to forge a living training 30 to 35 of the animals himself?

What punter wouldn’t love to have a natter to the nags as they parade around the bird-cage, allowing them throw a bundle on its nose, knowing your horse was hot to trot and the favourite was suffering from a belly-ache caused by too many oats the night before.

Even Bill himself doesn’t know how his ‘amazing powers’ work (Ashburton Guardian 23/01/06), but he glibly explains this way say “I don’t know how a computer works as well”. The thing is with that trite explanation is - there are people that do know how a computer works. Bill just don’t happen to be one of them. As yet we have yet to have any facts relating to the existence of angels, except hearsay, which comes at USD 90 for 20 minutes. (according to Bill’s advertising blurb that’s cheaper than a doctor, leading me to suggest he needs to get a new rural GP)

So intriguingly what do these animals tell Ol’ Bill?

Cat’s it appears tell lies and can’t be trusted, so he avoids them (unless offered an inducement)

Dogs are sensitive.

Purportedly one of his doggy clients began misbehaving after her owners got rid of her favourite toy. Severe neurosis in my books, a few more walks would do the trick.

Bill said a typical conversation with a horse would be: "The hay is delicious today but my owner was horrible to me last week so I'm going to stomp on his toe when I get a chance." Or, "my saddle blanket is really itchy”.

Not in-depth discussions of Stephen Hawkins re-write of ‘A History of Time’ I’m sorry to say – just mundane feed stuff & sore backs etc.

Indeed the first profound words Bill heard coming from a horse were “"I didn't get my apple today".

Miraculously all animals talk in English, which is kind of handy since that’s the only language Bill has a grasp of.

Interestingly Bill says fish just talk about food and nothing else, when water would seem to be a subject to be closer to their hearts and gills.

Soothingly when these animals are getting their worries of the world off their chests, Bill listens – closing his eyes apparently intensifies the procedure, and his trusty pendulum helps with “yes” of “no” answers. How he sees the pendulum move with closed eyes was not revealed. Perhaps, his personal band of roving angels, acts as assistants again here and whisper in his ear?

Horse-whisper, naturally.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Anti-Semitism alive and well in New Zealand


As you’ll be aware for the past few months the southern cities of Israel had been under rocket attack from terrorist group Hamas operating from Gaza, using civilian areas as launching-pads & even utitising Mosques as weapons dumps.

Hamas receives the majority of it’s funding from three sources (a.) ex patriot Palestinians (b.) the Iranian government (c.) supporters in other Gulf states, particularly Saudi Arabia.

Those in the Islamic world have never accepted the legitimacy of Israel's creation or the continued existence of the Jewish state and they have their supporters in New Zealand.

The small but extremist anti-Israeli lobby groups in New Zealand employ the guise ‘peace campaigners’ to hide their anti-Semitism.

But now and again this boils to the surface and New Zealanders can see these motley protesters and their Muslim brothers, in their ‘true colours’.

What better way to do show your hatred of Jewish people this than desecrate the Wellington memorial to one of Israel’s heroes Yitzhak Rabin – using your own blood mixed with red paint (refer above).

If that wasn’t enough of an affront, this mob then moved on to threaten Israeli women’s tennis player Shahar Peer, competing in Auckland’s ASB Tournament.

Given the circumstances that has lead to Israel defending it’s civilian population from terrorist attack, and were this rabble genuine ‘global peace campaigners’ , as opposed to bare-faced anti-Semites – then the Iranian or Saudi embassy’s would have been the logical first place you would have been marching to, not that of the United States of America.

So where do these bullies with megaphones, like Father Gerard Burns and John Minto get their hatred of the Jewish people from?

Much of it appears to be the result of a good ‘Christian’ education.

The Priests & Nuns taught this lot who the ‘Christ Killers’ are, and Gerard and John never forgot that lesson.

Mainstream New Zealanders are simply embarrassed and angry at their crude actions.

Footnote; Last night I asked 8 people at the pub, a simple question relating to Israeli’s actions in Gaza? “Do you support what Israel is doing?”. The response to this small straw-poll was “yes” – times eight.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My Psychic Predictions for 2009


Alright it’s a fair cop – I’m not a psychic, my record with horse racing, alone proves as much.

Why should, those so-called psychic’s get to have all the fun, making ludicrous claims?

But before we get to my predictions, let’s measure them against an established ‘top’ professional.

Like say SYLVIA BROWNE:

- The United States economy will begin to see a recovery
- The withdrawal of all U.S. troops from Iraq
- Severe weather, specifically hurricanes and tornados, throughout all part of the U.S.
- The end of the road for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
- Health problems for Britney Spears, Clint Eastwood, and Robert Redford
- Two plane accidents on the U.S. East Coast over the summer

Now Canterbury Atheists very own in-house ‘Psychic Paul’ presents his own predictions for 2009 (at $100 per hour for private readings he comes cheap, and for female clients, he’ll even throw-in a free massage)

Notice his amazing accuracy, as one by one of his bold predictions come true!

There’s none of those ‘pussy’ generalisations you get with those other psychic pretenders - ‘Psychic Paul’ is the real-deal, discovered his sensory powers by accident one day, after his wife asked him to “take-off that friggin’ stupid tin-foil hat”.

He also claims attaching the Sky-TV Arial to his head with electrodes helps bolster his extra-sensory powers, as well as improving normal household reception on the families black & white T.V (with a few more paying clients he hopes to be able to afford colour one day & his own infomercial) Note: These amazing predictions are then 'channeled' via the family moggy (pictured above) using a design for a ‘Cat Communicator’ found in an old Popular Mechanics magazine & built it out of parts from Dick Smith Electronics.


- A second All Black will be granted a sabbatical, to play rugby overseas

- Famous ‘Punk Music’ icon will die

- Obama will lead middle-eastern peace efforts

- An outsider will win the Melbourne Cup & the jockey’s colours will include white.

- Chinese share-market plunges as recession takes hold.

- A break through diabetes treatment will be announced.

- A terrorist attack will occur in a major European city with a large river

- Elizabeth Taylor, Patrick Swayze and Fidel Castro will all check-out on us as well.

And in the mid term…

In 2013 the Mayan Calendar prediction the world will end (2012) will be forgotten about, and a new dooms day date will be invented to scare the superstitious amongst us.

But wait there’s more….

THE EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED!

But that won’t be for another 4.3 billion years, when the sun starts blowing apart.

Note: I’m taking a break from my normal blogging activities for a couple of weeks. Playing my old vinyl,riding my bike and consuming beer. All comments will be cleared when I get around to it. So chill till then.

Monday, January 5, 2009

ZENITH APPLIED PHILOSOPHY


The uniquely Christchurch phenomenon Zenith Applied Philosophy (1974-Present) is one which I’ve been wishing to ‘get my teeth into’ for some time, given the time to tackle a major subject of this nature.

Indigenous New Zealand Churches are few & far between and none of the other home-grown Kiwi religions are anywhere as interesting, enigmatic and complex as Z.A.P.

Secretive in their dealings, reluctant to engage the media, Z.A.P remains largely an enigma - even in their own home-town, Christchurch.

Every public account on Z.A.P to this date, seemed to court controversy, without the author delving deeper into what actually motivated the group, and what ‘made them tick’.

I have therefore attempted as best I can to ‘scrap the surface’ on Zenith Applied Philosophy, and bring a mountain of material together on one site, so we can learn more about their workings, as well as their history.

At the same time I have tried to remain objective & deliberately avoided, where possible, engaging in a journalistic ‘name & shame’ exercise.

The good, as well as the bad, the amusing and the weird - it all makes for a fascinating story.

To read ‘The Unofficial Story of Zenith Applied Philosophy’ you’ll need to travel to….

THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE